Let the Fitzgerald Smear Campaign Begin!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

All I've seen written about Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the special prosecutor handling this Plame investigation is glowing praise about his fairness and meticulous nature. Need I remind my fellow conservatives that this is the man who could bring down Karl Rove and politically damage the president?

The Bible says to let he who is without sin cast the first stone -- well, I guess that means I'll have to be the one to begin this smear campaign against Fitzgerald.

The following picture was sent to me by a source familiar with the investigation, and it shows that Fitzgerald is not quite as impartial as he seems:



Fitzgerald in a bathtub with DNC chairman Howard Dean?!? Talk about a conflict of interest. Absolutely disgraceful!

Targeting Birth Control

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I've never found shopping at Target to be as pleasurable an experience as shopping at Walmart is. Instead of being greeted by hundreds of American flags, I'm instead visually accosted by rows of retina-burning red shopping carts and signs. And since I have little need for a a toilet brush specially designed by Michael Graves I usually choose to avoid this store altogether.

I have seriously changed my opinion of this store though after reading about the brave actions of one Target pharmacist.

A 26-year-old Missouri woman was refused [emergency contraceptive] when she handed her prescription to a pharmacist at a Target store in Fenton, MO, on September 30. The woman was told by the pharmacist, “I won’t fill it. It’s my right not to fill it.”

But aside from having a policy or hiring courageous Christians to fill (or not fill) prescriptions, Target also backs the actions of their righteous pharmacists:

Target consistently ensures that prescriptions for emergency contraception are filled. As an Equal Opportunity Employer, we also are legally required to accommodate our team members' sincerely held religious beliefs as required by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964... Target policy requires our pharmacists to take responsibility for ensuring that the guest's prescription is filled in a timely and respectful manner.

I applaud Target's position on this. They understand that their pharmacists have no professional obligation to do anything that they might find distasteful. No, the only obligation these men have is an obligation to serve the Almighty.

Pharmacists also have a moral obligation to act as an obstacle to any prescription that is an abomination before the Lord. We certainly can't count on the out of control doctors to stop recklessly prescribing birth control (emergency or otherwise). It seems that these pill counters of righteousness are on the front lines of this battle against wickedness and we must do all we can to support these fine men of God.

After hearing this inspirational story, I feel the need to take a trip down to my local Target to show my support. Maybe I'll find a new designer crucifix to hang upon my wall -- maybe something in a lime green with blue accents. Perhaps something a bit more understated, but I guess I'll just decide that when I get there. It's really the least I can do for this fine store. I've misjudged you Target, and for that I am truly sorry.

Say It Ain't So, Grover!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Gover Norquist has betrayed me and the entire conservative cause. Norquist is of course the president of Americans for Tax Reform, a group that has been very vocal in its opposition of the dreaded death tax and strong proponents of a flat tax. So, basically Norquist is the head of an organization that advocates many of the same economic positions that Jesus Christ himself holds.

And given how much God hates government, don't you think He would have smiled after hearing these words come from Norquist's lips:

I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

So what did Grover Norquist, a man I used to lovingly refer to as God's accountant, do to betray the conservative cause? He met with a bunch of homos.

A number of conservatives are seething over the fact that Grover Norquist, the president of Americans for Tax Reform (ATR), was the featured speaker at a fund-raising event for a group of homosexual Republicans last weekend. One pro-family leader called Norquist's appearance "an act of utter betrayal."

Norquist was the main attraction at the "Grand Ol' Party," the largest fund-raising event of the year for the Dallas, Tex., chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans, a homosexual advocacy group within the GOP.

I'm clearly not the only Christian conservative leader who's upset over this. In fact, here's what the Family Research Council had to say about this traitorous act:

Grover has spent years working to assemble a coalition of fiscal and social conservatives and his decision to aid those who are trying to destroy the institution of marriage is truly a disappointment and will no doubt split this important coalition.

While Grover is very well versed in God's position on privatization and tax reform, he has clearly forgotten one of Jesus' central teachings -- don't fraternize with homosexuals. I would threaten to drown Grover in his own bathtub but I'm just afraid of what I would find if I kicked down his bathroom door. Would he be in the process of being lathered up by a muscled dark-skinned log cabin Republican named Manuel? Please Grover, tell me I wouldn't.

Halo Tip: Fafblog!

The Criminalization of Christianity

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

These really are not the best days to be a conservative. With all the scandal that is surrounding so many high ranking Republican politicians you are no doubt asking yourself how all of this could be happening.

Perhaps you've read Bill Kritsol of the Weekly Standard's theory on all of this:

Why are conservative Republicans, who control the executive and legislative branches of government for the first time in living memory, so vulnerable to the phenomenon of criminalization? ... it's a reasonable bet that the fall of 2005 will be remembered as a time when it became clear that a comprehensive strategy of criminalization had been implemented to inflict defeat on conservatives who seek to govern as conservatives.

This is not just the criminalization of politics though, it goes much deeper than that. This is about the fundamental differences between how liberals and conservatives view the role of law in our society. To a conservative, laws are meant to protect our citizens and promote our shared Christian values. Liberals on the other hand view laws only as a means to advance their twisted secular agenda.

Liberals are usually far more interested in promoting the rights of criminals than protecting the rights of regular citizens like you or me. Why should it matter if homosexuals perform depraved sexual acts on each other? It's their right, isn't it? What about child molesters or murderers -- we certainly can't impose our idea of what's right and wrong on these people, can we? But Democrats have now found a "crime" that's absolutely unpardonable -- being a Christian.

This is the criminalization of Christianity. Democrats are using existing laws as a means to persecute Christians, plain and simple.

If we allow Tom Delay to be found guilty for criminal conspiracy how long before he will be tried for conspiracy to worship the Lord (attending Church)? If Bill Frist is found guilty of insider trading, how long before he is found guilty of trading good deeds and sacrifice for eternal salvation? If Karl Rove and other White House officials are indicted for leaking Valerie Plame's name, how long before they are charged for publically revealing the name of our savior, Jesus Christ?

We must stop this overt criminalization of Christianity lest we find ourselves on the receiving end of legal action just for daring to believe. No, the only "crime" any of these men committed is loving Christ and we must defend these persecuted men of God at any cost.

Oprah Angers Me, Again

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I've never been the biggest fan of Oprah Winfrey or her estrogen filled show. To me, Oprah's a woman who feeds dangerously subversive ideas to millions of suburban housewives. But despite my long displeasure with this woman, my own wife Carol used to watch the show occasionally while I was away at work.

Carol even decided one day to pick up some of those Oprah's book club books to enrich herself or some other such nonesense. Thanks to these reading recommendation, my living room looked like some black lesbian women studies bookstore (I assume such stores are very prevelant on the east coast). Needless to say my wife is no longer permitted to watch Oprah's show.

So you see, Oprah has already done plenty to deserve my ire, but now she has decided to do something absolutely unforgivable. This Thursday she will endorse the gay lifestyle.

She will be interviewing Michigan farmer Ryan Hickmott who took part in the reality TV program "30 days: Straight Man in a Gay World." Here's what Lifesite has to say on the matter:

Ryan Hickmott, from Michigan [spent] 30 days with a gay marketing consultant in San Francisco. The program notably did not address the sexual practices of many homosexuals that are said to often eventually lead to disease and other serious physical and psychological consequences.

What?!? You mean they put a homosexual on TV without a scrolling disclaimer at the bottom of the screen about the reprecussions of sodomy? Given that homsexual intercourse is the cause of all sexually transmitted diseases, this ommission is both irresponsible and reprehensible. How could Oprah have a man on her show that would choose to participate in such a program?

The answer is simple -- Oprah has pushed a strong pro-gay agenda at every turn. Lifesite also cites many times when she's supported homosexuality, including this incident from a couple years ago:

In 2003 Oprah referred to guest Melissa Etheridge as "married" to her lesbian partner Tammy Lynn Michaels even though homosexual 'marriage' is illegal in the United States.

Yes, it's illegal, Oprah. Illegal! I'm not sure if she could be jailed for her statement, but I'm having my lawyer look into it. You have no idea how personally satisfying it would be for me to put Oprah behind bars where she belongs. And while she's in prison thinking about what she did, maybe she could find time to read this week's "Michael Gregory Steele book club" recommendation: the Bible.

A Holy Vision and a New Beginning

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Please forgive me if I ramble a bit; I've been up since 3 o'clock this morning working on redesigning this blog to better please the Lord. While I went to bed last night determined never to blog again, God had different plans for me.

Jesus Christ himself took time out of his busy schedule to visit me in a dream, and he gave me the sign that I had been praying for. He told me that I was special, and that I had a responsibility above all others to preach His word. These were things that I was already well aware of though. This is the same thing Jesus whispers into my ear every time I partake in Holy Communion. "You're special" he'll say as the bread touches my tongue. "Amen," I'll whisper back, "Amen."

But last night he told me something truly amazing -- He spoke to me of what His plans for this blog really are.

Do you accept that the Bible is my divinely inspired word, Michael?
Certainly, Lord, only a moron would think otherwise.
And do you think I haven't had anything new to say for the past 1,500 years?
Of course not, but what does this have to do with me?
Your blog must be a continuation of my word. You cannot stop posting to it, because I have many more lessons to teach to my children. I have much to say on many matters including my abhorrence of homosexuals and the inequity of the current progressive tax system.
I understand, Lord, and I will continue this blog as you command.

I awoke from this holy vision to see that I had scrawled something in a notepad while still asleep. While in this divine trance I had written down God's holy plan for this blog -- a grand plan to redesign and refocus this blog to better serve Him.

This plan includes giving better voice to people like Dr. James Dobson, who speaks for God above all. You see, this blog isn't a merely a repository of divinely inspired opinion pieces, but the start of a spiritual revolution. Do not fear, my faithful followers, this is not the end, but instead it is a new beginning.

The End of This Blog?

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I ask you, what is the point of even having this blog? It seems that our email box is filled with nothing more than vile liberal propaganda. No longer is it people seeking moral guidance from Herman or myself, but godless unbelievers spouting off -- calling us wackos, or bigots, or closed minded members of the American Taliban.

A simple thank you would be a nice change of pace.

Is this what I've become, a punching bag for jobless hippies? Is this blog nothing more than a place for liberals to take out their hatred of God? Just what good have we done for this country anyway? We started this blog in April of 2005, when President Bush's approval rating was sitting at about 48%, and now... well, you've seen the numbers. Americans are even more misguided than when I started.

Homosexuals still walk the streets of our towns unimpeded. There are those in this country that still believe in the unholy principle of "separation of Church and State." There remains no Constitutional Amendment that makes Jesus Christ the official leader of this country. The atheists that control the Democratic Party haven't been run out of Washington by a righteous Christian mob yielding pitchforks and torches. America continues to wallow in sin.

Just what do I have to be proud of exactly? What have I accomplished here?

I think it may be time to cut my losses and shut down Conservatives for American Values permanently. This is something I'll have to talk over with Herman, but more importantly, it's something I'll have to talk over with God. I'll make my final decision on Monday, but my mind is pretty made up to end this.

Your Moral Leader Sinks Into a Depression

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I'm going to be honest with you, readers, I'm depressed. I haven't mentioned politics for almost two weeks and this is no accident. I devoted last week to intelligent design, a subject disconnected from the problems faced by the President and the rest of the Republican Party. Those negative news stories just make me sad.

The posts aren't coming regularly anymore because things have gotten so hard.

To be honest, if I wasn't paid so much to get up and go to work, I would find very little reason to get out of bed. Things are just such a mess in this country.

The Katrina situation has my beloved President spending like a liberal. Public support for Iraq is eroding as Americans turn into sniveling cowards. Indictments for the ridiculous Plame case are said to be forthcoming. Tom Delay has resigned from his leadership post because of an absurd political witch hunt.

Oh Lord, why have you forsaken your political party?

And let's not forget the Harriet Meirs nomination. On second thought, let's forget that one. If I stop to think about it for too long then I'm sure I won't have the energy to finish this post. What did I do to deserve all of this? I have been the perfect Christian, and yet all my dreams for this country are disintegrating before my very eyes. This isn't fair; I just don't deserve to suffer like this.

I'll just have to keep reminding God that I'm one of his favorites and that I don't need to be punished like those sinful liberals. Well, I'm going to go to sleep now. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow. Goodbye.

Liberal Obstructionists

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Note: Today's post is another guest post from my Godly colleague, Robert S. Larkin.

We all know about how the liberals have obstructed progress by blocking Social Security reform, proper terrorist interrogation techniques, the DARPA terrorism futures market and a litany of other sound policies.

Now liberals are once again obstructing sound policy: God's policy.

We all know that God is against premarital and homosexual sex and punishes such behavior with horrible disease. So far, the liberals have been able to do virtually nothing to eliminate these diseases. This is a testament to the omnipotence of our Creator.

However, it now seems that the liberals have a vaccine that prevents infection of the human papilloma virus. This Devil's elixir appears to be 90% effective.

Let me explain why it is particularly heinous that liberals are trying to eradicate this virus. Human papilloma virus (HPV) is the virus that causes genital warts. As we all know, the only people that get genital warts are promiscuous women and homosexuals. Could it be any clearer that this "virus" is God's will?

HPV is a warning from God to change your sinful ways. Those that do change face no more punishment from God, but those who continue to defy God and pursue their vile depraved sex acts are struck down by our Lord. You see, HPV is responsible for 70% of cervical cancer cases.

It becomes even clearer that HPV is God's message when you look at the statistics. 50% of sexually active people have this infection. Clearly the 50% of non-infected sexually active people are married and simply performing their God given duty of procreation.

More telling is the fact that 80% of women will become infected with HPV. Just as God burdened women with menstruation because of Eve's wickedness, he burdens them with HPV.

Now, what percent of people that are abstinent have this affliction? That's correct: 0%. Let's be clear, this is not just a case of liberals obstructing the will of God, this is about recruitment to a life of sin.

Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council has it right when she says:

Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful, because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex.

Let's stop this madness and prevent the liberal sin machine from wrecking our country. Contact your representatives in Congress today!

The Champions of Intelligent Design

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I thought that the best way to conclude this week dedicated to destroying the sacrilegious field of science would be to showcase the heroes in this epic battle for very soul of America. These people are not sinners in white lab coats, but saintly men of God like you and me (well, at least me for certain). These are not men who waste their days in darkened laboratories squinting into microscopes -- no, a microscope is not necessary to read the Bible.

So who are the champions of intelligent design who dare to ask the question, why does God have no place in science?

As previously mentioned there's Philip E. Johnson, who is considered the father of the intelligent design movement and one of the principle advocates of its teaching in our schools. And at the risk of being redundant I would like to again present this quote from him, because it sums up the aim of ID so well:

[C]ultivating ambiguity by employing secular language in arguments which are carefully crafted to avoid overtones of theistic creationism is a necessary first step for ultimately reintroducing the Christian concept of God as the designer.

Another big player in this movement is William Dembski, a senior fellow at the Discovery Institute. He's also the author of Intelligent Design, the Bridge Between Science and Theology which contains the following statement:

Christ is indispensable to any scientific theory, even if its practitioners don't have a clue about him. The pragmatics of a scientific theory can, to be sure, be pursued without recourse to Christ. But the conceptual soundness of the theory can in the end only be located in Christ.

Aside from these evangelical Christians who are attempting to reshape science in the image of Jesus Christ, there are also the usual champions of any conservative Christian cause. Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family has a section of their site devoted to ID with the following introduction:

Are we humans the result of meaningless processes that did not have us in mind? Or were we created on purpose—by design? The answer to these questions is key to many public issues debated in our society, including abortion, marriage, sexuality, bioethics, human rights and so on. Yet in most public schools, only one view may be taught: naturalistic evolution...

You see, there is little difference in the views of those who advocate the teaching of intelligent design. Overwhelmingly these supporters are evangelical Protestants -- men of God. These men all want the same ultimate goal: science that centers around Jesus Christ, not Charles Darwin or Isaac Newton.

This debate though is ultimately about trust. Just who do you trust to decide what ideas are to be deemed scientific, a bunch of atheist Nobel laureates, or people who actually know God?

Let me conclude this week by issuing this ultimatum to everyone reading this: either reject traditional science and accept intelligent design or get used to the idea of burning atop Satan's Bunsen burner of unspeakable torment for all eternity.

The Battle Over Intelligent Design

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I've now laid out all the theological details of this great battle of evolution vs. intelligent design, but now I need to talk about the enemy in this religious war. If you still don't agree that ID belong in our schools then I've got some bad news for you -- you're the enemy.

Other enemies of God have recently decided to sue the school district in Dover, PA for requiring the teaching of intelligent design.

The eight families say the district policy promotes the Bible's view of creation, violating the constitutional separation of church and state. But the rural school district of about 3,500 students argues it is not endorsing any religious view and is merely giving ninth-grade biology classes a glimpse of differences over evolution.

But again, fellow conservatives, don't worry as this is without a doubt good old creationism. In fact the following was revealed about the original drafts of the official ID textbook, Of People and Pandas during this trial:

"Devastating" early drafts of a controversial book recommended as reading at a US high school reveal how the word “creationism” had been later swapped for “intelligent design”

Now, I guess I just have a different definition of the word "devastating" than the author of this article. I would personally describe this revelation as fantastic, possibly even delectable, but that's just me. To my followers this should be all the proof needed to show that intelligent design is a perfect way to get God into science class.

So who are the people behind this court challenge in Dover? The answer to this question is the same as the answer to the following: What organization hates God more than any group (excluding the Democratic Party)? That's right, The American Civil Liberties Union.

The ACLU is afraid of letting God into public schools. The ACLU is petrified that with the entire field of science based around the Lord that they'll be left out in the cold. Those atheist scientists with their homosexual safety goggles and unnecessarily phallic test tubes will be the ones being called "unscientific," and the ACLU will have no cases to take on because everyone will be Christian and happy.

This battle over the teaching of intelligent design is the central part of this holy war we've all been waging for years. The ACLU has long perpetuated the myth of separation of Church and State, but we're finally going to fight back. Taking back science is the first step in destroying this myth and creating a more Jesus centered nation. The battle begins here, but the war will wage until we win back this country in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Related sites that fill me with rage:
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Intelligent Falling
Pandamonium

Who Is The Intelligent Designer?

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

As I stated in my previous post, intelligent design is the only reasonable way to explain our origins. The idea that everything has been guided by the hand of an intelligent designer is the only rational way to explain anything. But just who is this intelligent designer? Here's what the Intelligent Design and Evolution Awareness Center says on the matter:

Intelligent design theory cannot address the identity or origin of the designer--it is a philosophical / religious question that lies outside the domain of scientific inquiry.

You are probably furious reading this response. "I thought ID was supposed to be covert creationism, a way to bring God into the classroom," you are undoubtedly saying to yourself. "If ID doesn't talk about God than it is as useless as evolution."

I assured you that ID was an idea that pleased the Lord, so I'm more than a little angry that you would doubt me on this, but allow me to further reassure you anyway.

Phillip E. Johnson, considered by many to be the founder of the intelligent design movement, has this to say about the intelligent designer:

[C]ultivating ambiguity by employing secular language in arguments which are carefully crafted to avoid overtones of theistic creationism is a necessary first step for ultimately reintroducing the Christian concept of God as the designer.

Bingo, we've just solved the mystery! The intelligent designer is none other than the Christian God we all know and love. This is so brilliant I'm not entirely convinced that I'm not the one who conceived of the idea. I can think of no better way to bring God back into science class than to first change the science curriculum so it centers around this ambiguous sounding intelligent designer.

Then when the time is right, the teachers can reveal to their students the true identity of the designer. Of course the children will want to know who this mysterious being who has created and guided the development of all life is. "Who is this enigmatic deity that is the answer to all previously challenging questions of science," they will ask.

The teacher can then point to a picture on the wall covered by velvet cloth. The students will be on the edge of their seats at this point. Then the instructor will pull the cloth away to reveal the designer's true identity. These children will see that he is none other than God the Almighty. It would probably be a good idea that He be standing with an arm around Jesus, just to make it clear that this is the Christian God and not simply the God of Jewish tradition.

The children will then fall to their knees and praise the intelligent designer. Even the most hardened atheist will at long last know the sweet embrace of our Lord and will weep. Everyone in that classroom will know His love. There will be no more school shootings. There will be no more teen pregnancy. There will be no more godless science. All of this will come to pass, and all because of God -- or should I say, all because of the intelligent designer.

How Intelligent Is Intelligent Design?

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

You've no doubt heard the rumbling of controversy about the teaching of intelligent design in our schools. ID is an idea that has received the endorsements of such venerable politicians as Senator Rick Santorum and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. In fact, even President Bush supports the teaching of ID:

I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. You’re asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes.

So clearly intelligent design has some high level supporters, but just how intelligent is intelligent design? The short answer: absolutely brilliant.

But in order to understand the true genius of intelligent design, we must first answer the question of what exactly this ground breaking idea is. According to the Discovery Institute, a Conservative Christian think tank, intelligent design is defined as such:

The scientific theory of intelligent design holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection. Intelligent design theory then is an alternative solution to answer problems with Darwinian evolution.

This definition brings us to one of the more indispensable parts of ID -- the disqualification of evolution. Much of what is written about ID deals with pointing out the flaws of evolution and discrediting it as an explanation for the origin of life. Ideally we would simply replace evolution with creationism and rest well knowing that the souls of our children are safe, but unfortunately we are not fighting this war on our own terms.

And as long as we limited by the current idea of what is considered scientific, creationism will continue to be scoffed at. The true brilliance of intelligent design is not that it is creationism explained in a vaguely scientific manner, but that it is a theory that will usher in a new brand of science.

Here's how the Intelligent Design and Evolution Awareness Center put it when talking about evolution:

Naturalistic explanations are those which assume that there were no forces involved in the history of life other than matter, energy, and the chemical and physical laws governing their interactions. Naturalistic explanations assume that there were no intelligent agents which could have influenced life in the past.

And therein lies the problem with secular science, they're missing an essential part of the equation: the intelligent designer. This leads to the central precept of this new science: if any part of a scientific theory is in question then the entire theory is invalid and must be explained in terms of the intelligent designer.

But is this new version of science more pleasing to the Lord? And who is this mysterious intelligent designer that created us all and serves as an explanation for all natural occurrences? I'll answer these questions and reveal the secret identity of the intelligent designer tomorrow, so stay tuned.

Science Is a Sham Week

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I was originally going to title this post "Biology Is Bogus," and devote it to discrediting evolution and the entire field of biology. But I soon realized that this is simply not enough. No, it's not just biology that's an abomination, but science in general. And it's now clear that I will need more than a day to cut through the convoluted web of lies that godless scientists have weaved.

In fact, I shall devote a week to dispelling the myths and encouraging a return to the original science textbook of choice: The Bible. I do this because it is important that our children understand that the only reliable source of truth is the Good Book. Our children are having science shoved down their throats by godless educators. These teachers are more concerned with claiming another soul for the Democratic Party than the spiritual well being of our children. This must end now!

Science is, and always has been, a tool of atheists that is used to construct a reality that runs counter to the accounts of the Bible.

I mean, don't you find it a little convenient that the so-called "scientific method" would allow godless scientists to perform countless experiments that seem to support the basic idea of evolution? You call this "verifiable data" proof? I call this a heinous conspiracy to turn people away from God.

You see, to a scientist 1 + 1 = 2, but we all know that 1 + 1 = whatever God tells us it is. Maybe it's 2, perhaps 3, but ultimately that's for the Almighty to decide.

It's very clear what needs done here, we need to de-secularize science for the sake of our children. I would love nothing more than to walk into a biology class and see every student in that class with their nose in the Bible. These children could learn about Adam and Eve and that sinister talking snake, not a bunch of nonsense about idiotic finches and lame voiceless turtles. But for now this will have to remain a dream. But it doesn't have to end here. To see how can put God back in the classroom and take the sin out of science, join me for Science is a Sham Week.