Monday, October 24, 2005

Say It Ain't So, Grover!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Gover Norquist has betrayed me and the entire conservative cause. Norquist is of course the president of Americans for Tax Reform, a group that has been very vocal in its opposition of the dreaded death tax and strong proponents of a flat tax. So, basically Norquist is the head of an organization that advocates many of the same economic positions that Jesus Christ himself holds.

And given how much God hates government, don't you think He would have smiled after hearing these words come from Norquist's lips:
I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.
So what did Grover Norquist, a man I used to lovingly refer to as God's accountant, do to betray the conservative cause? He met with a bunch of homos.

A number of conservatives are seething over the fact that Grover Norquist, the president of Americans for Tax Reform (ATR), was the featured speaker at a fund-raising event for a group of homosexual Republicans last weekend. One pro-family leader called Norquist's appearance "an act of utter betrayal."

Norquist was the main attraction at the "Grand Ol' Party," the largest fund-raising event of the year for the Dallas, Tex., chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans, a homosexual advocacy group within the GOP.

I'm clearly not the only Christian conservative leader who's upset over this. In fact, here's what the Family Research Council had to say about this traitorous act:
Grover has spent years working to assemble a coalition of fiscal and social conservatives and his decision to aid those who are trying to destroy the institution of marriage is truly a disappointment and will no doubt split this important coalition.
While Grover is very well versed in God's position on privatization and tax reform, he has clearly forgotten one of Jesus' central teachings -- don't fraternize with homosexuals. I would threaten to drown Grover in his own bathtub but I'm just afraid of what I would find if I kicked down his bathroom door. Would he be in the process of being lathered up by a muscled dark-skinned log cabin Republican named Manuel? Please Grover, tell me I wouldn't.

Halo Tip:
Fafblog!

13 Comments:

At October 24, 2005 6:14 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

I just can’t believe that this fairy infiltrated our ranks. Now that I look at his picture, I’m ashamed that we didn’t pick up on his abominable lifestyle earlier. Go back to San Francisco where you belong Norquist!

 
At October 24, 2005 8:28 PM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

Norquist held so much promise, had done the right thing so many times before.

I guess it goes to prove that there is almost no one not susceptible to the liberal Satanic infection that runs through our great country.

 
At October 25, 2005 2:52 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

kirk: I think it's actually more a matter of the fairies infiltrating our ranks. He was obviously recruited by the homosexuals to advance their own agenda. Disgraceful!

conservative patriot: Exactly, this is why we must be on heightened alert at all times. Trust your instincts on this. The only way to protect yourself from the homosexual influence is to vocally oppose anything that seems even remotely gay.

 
At October 25, 2005 3:14 PM, Blogger Tom Harper said...

Another one of our cherished leaders has let us down. Decent people have again been sabotaged and corrupted by the godless Left. Oh God, say it ain't so. Who will be the next traitor?

 
At October 25, 2005 4:31 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Tom: I think I can answer that question: Tucker Carlson. If there ever was a “conservative” tree pixie, that guy is it. The guy wears a bow tie! Right in front of us this whole time!

 
At October 26, 2005 8:36 AM, Blogger Steve O said...

Thanks!!! Now I have to go clean the puke off my keyboard!

How dare he meet with these, these, butt pirates of damnation???

With a name like Grover how did we miss that?

"Grover, Grover, would you please bend over?"

Blah!

 
At October 26, 2005 3:33 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

kirk: Tucker Carlson? Yeah, that one is as plain as day.

the bastard: I'm not about to blame the school children who used to taunt him with that chant.

What child could resist "Grover, Grover, would you please bend over?" No, Grover made the choice to embrace this lifestyle and he's no longer a conservative in my eyes.

 
At October 26, 2005 6:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's cute. Do he got a brother?

 
At October 26, 2005 10:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Gregory Steele, your description of this Manuel personage is very imaginitive. Oh no, who's gay now?

Aw. :(

 
At October 27, 2005 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

one of Jesus' central teachings -- don't fraternize with homosexuals

Well, I must have missed that commandment, or my bible is lacking some pages...

Weird!

 
At August 18, 2007 5:09 AM, Blogger John Sawyer said...

You probably tore them out during one of your usual Satan-induced, homoerotic sleep fantasies. After all, if some people can remain asleep while walking the dog, driving to a movie, or fixing a five-course dinner in the middle of the night, why not you?

 
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