Monday, October 10, 2005

Liberal Obstructionists

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Note: Today's post is another guest post from my Godly colleague, Robert S. Larkin.

We all know about how the liberals have obstructed progress by blocking Social Security reform, proper terrorist interrogation techniques, the DARPA terrorism futures market and a litany of other sound policies.

Now liberals are once again obstructing sound policy: God's policy.

We all know that God is against premarital and homosexual sex and punishes such behavior with horrible disease. So far, the liberals have been able to do virtually nothing to eliminate these diseases. This is a testament to the omnipotence of our Creator.

However, it now seems that the liberals have a vaccine that prevents infection of the human papilloma virus. This Devil's elixir appears to be 90% effective.

Let me explain why it is particularly heinous that liberals are trying to eradicate this virus. Human papilloma virus (HPV) is the virus that causes genital warts. As we all know, the only people that get genital warts are promiscuous women and homosexuals. Could it be any clearer that this "virus" is God's will?

HPV is a warning from God to change your sinful ways. Those that do change face no more punishment from God, but those who continue to defy God and pursue their vile depraved sex acts are struck down by our Lord. You see, HPV is responsible for 70% of cervical cancer cases.

It becomes even clearer that HPV is God's message when you look at the statistics. 50% of sexually active people have this infection. Clearly the 50% of non-infected sexually active people are married and simply performing their God given duty of procreation.

More telling is the fact that 80% of women will become infected with HPV. Just as God burdened women with menstruation because of Eve's wickedness, he burdens them with HPV.

Now, what percent of people that are abstinent have this affliction? That's correct: 0%. Let's be clear, this is not just a case of liberals obstructing the will of God, this is about recruitment to a life of sin.

Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council has it right when she says:
Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful, because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex.
Let's stop this madness and prevent the liberal sin machine from wrecking our country. Contact your representatives in Congress today!

16 Comments:

At October 10, 2005 7:03 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

I can’t believe the things written in this post. I had to reread it twice to make sure I read it correctly. This is just unconscionable. How can anyone justify wasting our nation’s scientific resources on curing some disease that wouldn’t occur if people showed just a little self restraint in the first place? Unbelievable!

 
At October 10, 2005 10:55 PM, Blogger bkwrd_dog said...

Sometimes I just wish God would have intelligently designed men to grow penises on their wedding night. Those women would not be half as damn tempting if you didn't have a penis.

 
At October 10, 2005 10:58 PM, Blogger bkwrd_dog said...

Crap... Nevermind. I forgot we were created in HIS image. God clearly has a penis.

 
At October 11, 2005 12:26 AM, Anonymous Robert Larkin said...

Kirk: I don't know why you are so shocked. It's almost as if you haven't been paying attention to the mess the liberals have made of our country over the past few years.

bkwrd_dog: Perhaps you should consider hosing yourself down. You are correct that God made us in His image and made women to please us. However, they are meant to please us in the kitchen, not in the bedroom.

 
At October 11, 2005 2:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If we were all created in God's image, then how do you explain homosexuals being created.

 
At October 11, 2005 3:26 PM, Anonymous Robert Larkin said...

Anonymous: Thank you for the question. The homosexual lifestyle is a choice to live a depraved sinful lifestyle. Therefore this has nothing to do with the creation of man. Man was created in His image and is born innocent. It is only liberal influence that turns man against his Creator and towards such abominable acts such as homosexual intercourse. Homosexuals can always change their ways and come back to God.

 
At October 11, 2005 4:16 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Mr. Larkin - It was very nice of you to take over Michael Gregory Steele's duties while he's away undergoing his clandestine papilloma virus treatments.

 
At October 11, 2005 7:05 PM, Anonymous Robert Larkin said...

m.r.: Quite clearly Mr. Steele is not afflicted with HPV given what an outstanding Christian he is. I find it distasteful that someone would actually attempt a smear campaign against him. You must be a liberal as this is a tactic that I have only seen liberals use.

 
At October 12, 2005 3:36 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

Quite the contrary Mr. Larkin. You have me confused with the insidious right wing conservative christian conspiracy you zealously represent.

 
At October 12, 2005 1:21 PM, Anonymous Robert Larkin said...

m.r.: There you go again.

 
At October 12, 2005 3:12 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

Perhaps m.r. would like me to rename this blog "The m.r. Blog" or "Everyone Look at m.r. He Wants Attention." Enough is enough! I urge all my followers to ignore this insignificant worm.

 
At October 12, 2005 5:27 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

M.G.S. - Your "followers"? Prison penpals and S&M enthusiasts don't count as followers.

 
At October 12, 2005 6:18 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Michael: I agree that anyone that thinks Savior and Messiah enthusiasts “don’t count” should be completely ignored given their unbridled hatred towards the Christian community. No good can come from acknowledging their presence.

 
At October 12, 2005 6:59 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Holy crap, Kirk actually expressed a coherent thought and it was witty! Say your final prayers for The Rapture must be upon us!

 
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