Who Is The Intelligent Designer?

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

As I stated in my previous post, intelligent design is the only reasonable way to explain our origins. The idea that everything has been guided by the hand of an intelligent designer is the only rational way to explain anything. But just who is this intelligent designer? Here's what the Intelligent Design and Evolution Awareness Center says on the matter:

Intelligent design theory cannot address the identity or origin of the designer--it is a philosophical / religious question that lies outside the domain of scientific inquiry.

You are probably furious reading this response. "I thought ID was supposed to be covert creationism, a way to bring God into the classroom," you are undoubtedly saying to yourself. "If ID doesn't talk about God than it is as useless as evolution."

I assured you that ID was an idea that pleased the Lord, so I'm more than a little angry that you would doubt me on this, but allow me to further reassure you anyway.

Phillip E. Johnson, considered by many to be the founder of the intelligent design movement, has this to say about the intelligent designer:

[C]ultivating ambiguity by employing secular language in arguments which are carefully crafted to avoid overtones of theistic creationism is a necessary first step for ultimately reintroducing the Christian concept of God as the designer.

Bingo, we've just solved the mystery! The intelligent designer is none other than the Christian God we all know and love. This is so brilliant I'm not entirely convinced that I'm not the one who conceived of the idea. I can think of no better way to bring God back into science class than to first change the science curriculum so it centers around this ambiguous sounding intelligent designer.

Then when the time is right, the teachers can reveal to their students the true identity of the designer. Of course the children will want to know who this mysterious being who has created and guided the development of all life is. "Who is this enigmatic deity that is the answer to all previously challenging questions of science," they will ask.

The teacher can then point to a picture on the wall covered by velvet cloth. The students will be on the edge of their seats at this point. Then the instructor will pull the cloth away to reveal the designer's true identity. These children will see that he is none other than God the Almighty. It would probably be a good idea that He be standing with an arm around Jesus, just to make it clear that this is the Christian God and not simply the God of Jewish tradition.

The children will then fall to their knees and praise the intelligent designer. Even the most hardened atheist will at long last know the sweet embrace of our Lord and will weep. Everyone in that classroom will know His love. There will be no more school shootings. There will be no more teen pregnancy. There will be no more godless science. All of this will come to pass, and all because of God -- or should I say, all because of the intelligent designer.