Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I Hate Liberal Dissent

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I've come to a simple conclusion: having to listen to people who disagree with you is incredibly annoying. I previously wrote that liberal commenters help fill me with enough indignation to post on this blog. That was before I got sick and tired of having to defend every single one of my ideas.

But my dilemma is this: How do I rid myself of these liberal pests without completely disabling comments and in turn cutting myself off from any well deserved praise?

WWFND: What Would Fox News Do?

First I thought of Fox News, and how they handle their own liberal pest problems. As an unfortunate necessity they have to invite a liberal pundit on their shows to try and counter a conservative pundit's take on any particular issue. A shouting match usually ensues and the conservative always prevails. So how do they manage to keep the news so on message without it devolving into some sort of treasonous coffeehouse debate?

Simple, they shrewdly control the debate by carefully selecting their opponents. They can either pick an anemic liberal like Alan Colmes who will easily concede or they can select a liberal so outrageous that he makes Michael Moore look like Michael Gregory Steele. This solution is so absolutely brilliant in its simplicity.

Unfortunately I can't pick and choose which liberal idiots will stumble across this blog and decide to post a comment, so I have to look elsewhere for a solution.

WWGWBD: What Would George W. Bush Do?
Next I thought of our glorious President and what he would do in this kind of situation. How did he handle all those loud unwashed protesters chanting bumper-sticker slogans like "No Blood for Oil", "Bush Lied" , or "Stop Picking on Terrorists" ? How could he perform his election stump speech or preach the gospel of Social Security privatization over this kind of racket?

He has a simple and elegant solution to this problem of having people who disagree with him: Don't let them in the door. He wisely makes everyone who attends these events sign a loyalty oath so that he can preach only to the choir. He kept the riff-raff out by filling these events with only loyal and pure Republicans. This is the genius mind of Karl Rove at its best.

But again this is an idea that doesn't quite translate to the internet. Having everyone sign a loyalty oath isn't very practical for a blog.

WWID: What Will I Do?
It all boils down to carefully controlling the debate. I will no longer allow any liberals to try and knock me off message. If a liberal posts a comment it will be deleted. This is unless the liberal either leaves me opportunity to personal attack their extremism or gives me an easy way to reiterating a point I have made earlier. I hope liberals will remember this simple message when trying to comment to this blog: I control the terms of the debate, therefore I control the message.

61 Comments:

At June 30, 2005 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not listening! I'm not listening! WAAAAAAAAAAA! Keep the scary liberals away from me, mommy!

 
At June 30, 2005 3:48 PM, Anonymous touchstone said...

It stinks when freedom of speech interferes with American values!

 
At June 30, 2005 4:04 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: I'm trying to keep the scary liberals and their even scarier ideas away from all my readers.

Though in the future, refrain from calling me "mommy."

touchstone: Tell me about it. I'm doing all I can to shut these anti-American liberal dolts up.

 
At June 30, 2005 4:08 PM, Anonymous hydrated said...

Come on over to Catch.com where your comments are always welcome!

 
At June 30, 2005 4:22 PM, Anonymous touchstone said...

MGS: We over at Catch.com are wondering if your site is a wonderful sendup of conservative sites, or an actual, earnest one.

 
At June 30, 2005 4:28 PM, Blogger Captain Fantasy said...

MGS: What do you think your "anti-American liberal dolts" comment makes you sound like?

 
At June 30, 2005 4:54 PM, Blogger The One Your Mother Warned You About said...

Bite me you cry babies! "Scary" is the state of our nation currently as we watch democracy dwindle away. Next step, dictatorship!
"American Values"! If we had any values we wouldn't be sourcing all of our jobs offshore. Tell me, what are "American Values"?
"I hate liberal dissent". Well I hate all of you conservative two faced "Momma's Boys" who have no clue, never worked a hard day in their lives, and will be whimpering like little bitches when this country falls!
Other than that, have a nice day!

 
At June 30, 2005 5:32 PM, Blogger Ken Grandlund said...

He who seeks no opinions other than his own is surely a fool or an idiot. You must be both.

 
At June 30, 2005 6:52 PM, Blogger Call Me Grandma said...

Nobody says it better than michael gregory steele. But...Bill O'Reilly is the man who really controls the spin.
No wait a minute, I think we've got a new spinmaster in our mist...could it be you Mr. Steele.
LOL Loving Our Lord

 
At June 30, 2005 6:55 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

"Carefully controlling the debate" - Brilliant! There's nothing like a little healthy censorship to help you get your own twisted point across. That comes dangeroulsy close to sounding totalitarian in nature; I yeah I forgot, you're conservative, it's okay when you guys do it.

 
At June 30, 2005 8:58 PM, Anonymous Lady Penelope said...

Thanks for your response to my email. Sorry to hear you're not one of us. And thanks also for signing me up for the Christian Coalition newsletter, a-hole. I hope you like scientology.

 
At June 30, 2005 10:17 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

hydrated: I've visited this site and it seems like a prime candidate for the blogroll of iniquity. Absolutely disgusting.

touchstone: That's all you liberals seem to do, is attack my credibility.

 
At June 30, 2005 10:26 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

Captain Fantasy: Honestly, I thought it made me sound kind of tough.

mike: Values that could potential hurt business? This sounds like radical Marxism, comrade.

 
At June 30, 2005 10:31 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

military mom: No I think Bill O'Reilly is too weak (read: moderate) on certain issues. The person whos place I really want to take is Rush Limbaugh. And mark my words, I will usurp his throne.

 
At June 30, 2005 10:32 PM, Blogger OTTMANN said...

Let the liberals whine on and on. It's getting them nothing but more abandonment. I mean who can stand to listen to them and the crapola they spew. It's all a bunch of hate that turns people off, so let 'em bitch all they want.

They've got nothing better in their pathetic little lives anyway! Ken Grundand is a primo example of liberal lunacy by his own hypocrisy right here.

 
At June 30, 2005 10:39 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

Lady Penelope: You're lucky that all I did was sign you up for a newsletter after you tried to recruit me as a member of your repugnant site.

Let this be a lesson to all of my readers. Do not fraternize with liberals, they will only try and recruit you to their depraved way of thinking.

 
At June 30, 2005 11:07 PM, Blogger Random Personae said...

You can't just ignore the liberals. Preaching to the choir is useless. If you want conservatives to have your way, you've got to accept the liberal challenge and win.

If they're not willing to have an intelligent discussion, then call them idiots and move on. Everyone who reads comments can tell the difference between whining and debating.

 
At June 30, 2005 11:17 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

ottmann: When I read your words I am sometime fooled into thinking they are my own divinely inspired words.

You are what my other readers of this blog should aspire to be: loyal, unquestioning, and fiercely conservative.

 
At June 30, 2005 11:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're right-don't the liberals already have enough outlets available to them now? They've got Al Jazeera, Hollywood, and the Church of Satan if they want to put their views out.

 
At July 01, 2005 1:56 AM, Blogger Clublint said...

I'm not an anything other than Australian so I can't contribute to this conversation.

You can all look upon me as that girl from Nowheresville, Blahblah Australia who stopped in briefly as a brief distraction.

You may recommence with the bickering...

Deb

 
At July 01, 2005 11:06 AM, Blogger Hannah said...

I'm not quite convinced this blog isn't a piss-take... It's just a little too scary to believe this is all sincere...

 
At July 01, 2005 11:51 AM, Blogger zandperl said...

Lady Penelope:
At least he's not signing you up for STD spam.

MGS:
Great idea to delete all liberals' posts unless you can make them look like idiots! Be sure to automically delete any posts from people in Massachusetts, because they're all liberal elitists. Or you could just make a comment that they're from Boston and that'll show them!

 
At July 01, 2005 3:10 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: Good point liberals control almost all of the media. There's no reason for me to give them another place to spread their filth.

Hannah: A piss-take? Now I'm sure that's not an American saying. I try not to respond to non-Americans on this blog.

 
At July 02, 2005 2:58 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

The thing to do is turn off anonymous posting, and let morons speak. Most people who read blogs are smart enough to know when someone can't debate or prove their point well enough. Also demand that any wild accusations should be backed up with links that can be proven.

And to those who call "fascism!" at the drop of a hat on a blog, should re-read the U.S. Constitution, which says that Congress shall make ... no law abriding the freedom of speech or the press..."

No where does it mention "Blog site owners must allow EVERYONE free reign to be an idiot."

This blog is just like private property, if the property owner wants you off of his land, you must comply or face trespassing charges.

If you can't debate logically, go back home.

I'm a Conservative too (Republican-Libertarian mix really), this is an interesting place, I'll check it out. I just wanted to counter the whiners on this comment thread.

-Jesse

 
At July 02, 2005 4:26 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

insanehippie: Your name seems to betray a liberal tendency deep inside of you. Feel free to stop by, but if I find out that you are liberal in any way, your invitation will be officially revoked.

 
At July 02, 2005 9:26 PM, Blogger ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

It would also be useful if you didn't delete comments that you don't like. "Selective display" of what the public says about you? Yup, seems conservative to me!

(I posted a comment a day or two ago to this post and it was removed).

 
At July 03, 2005 3:32 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

ariadnek: Reread the post, this blog is about exposing my readers to the one true point of view. And I don't want my readers to be confused by liberals trying to challange it.

 
At July 03, 2005 10:19 PM, Blogger ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

I think I've figured out that this blog has GOT to be a joke.

 
At July 04, 2005 2:20 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

ariadnek: Well, I guess we'll see who gets the last laugh then.

 
At July 05, 2005 1:48 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

MGS: I have hippie in my name because I have long hair.

Turn off anonymous posting and you won't have to be paranoid about liberals posting.
If you aren't confident in your debating skills against liberals, you should work at it, instead of railing against anyone who would possibly be a liberal. And look at my profile and website if you think I'm a liberal:

www.insanehippie.net

 
At July 05, 2005 4:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

INSANE HIPPY IS A LIBERAL.. the boys got long hair. Christians know long hair is the mark of Satan. Tell 'um Steele!
I fully agree with editing what you allow yourself to hear. I still have to put on ear muffs every time someone tries to convince me that all those Jews were killed in WWII. They start blabbering on about "facts".
I just tell 'um it dont matter what the facts are.. I just have know what I believe! Thanks again for teaching me the proper path in life!! You da man!!

 
At July 05, 2005 4:46 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

insaneliberalhippie: I agree with what anonymous has posted after you.

Your mouth says you support George W. Bush, but your hair says "I supported John Kerry but only because there wasn't a member of Phish on the ballot".

 
At July 05, 2005 4:48 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: excellent work, brother. You've outed another wolf among the flock. You liberals will not fool me with your mind games.

Pretending to be a conservative when you're not one is just about as disgusting as it gets.

 
At July 02, 2006 10:59 PM, Anonymous fran said...

This blog worries me, I can not believe people, such as good old steele finds this amusing to pretend to be something he is not. I believe he enjoys being an asshole.

 
At July 08, 2006 8:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Herman and Michael,
Do you allow guest bloggers? I have a really good idea; why not invite one of my main heroes (he slipped down just a tiny bit after I became a devoted follower of your blog)...that bastion of common sense, moral values, and fine American conservativism: Stephen Colbert!

 
At July 23, 2006 9:05 AM, Blogger Sparkrates said...

I have an idea. You could ask Fox Security to help you get rid of liberal posters.

 
At September 30, 2006 11:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen, the comments that is... There are actually conservatives that haven't figured out that this is satire. I lol'd

 
At October 06, 2006 8:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You definitely need to delete some of these comments. It's getting hard to tell the snarky liberals from the passionate conservatives around here!

Of course, how to decide which ones to delete? It's a puzzler, indeed it is.

-fred

 
At October 16, 2006 10:42 AM, Anonymous flag waver said...

Those damn liberals, demanding the right to free speech. It angers me when the government says they won't reduce our rights to speak our minds. The president should tell us what to think and say, not us! Thinking for ourselves is dangerous. How dare those liberals not kiss the feet of the president.

 
At October 26, 2006 8:10 PM, Anonymous CommieKiller said...

It's not the "right to free speech" that's an issue, its that most liberals are spreading propoganda that's a flat out lie. And ignorant Americans are believing it. Most liberals think the war is bad. Why? Because Michael Moore and the liberal slanted media told them so. Most antiwar liberals have no idea what the war is really all about, what most of the troops are doing over there, that 99% of Iraqis are happier than pigs in spit that Saddam is ousted. No, they know that Michael Moore and CNN and Sean Penn said the war is bad so they agreed. How about the crapload of Democratic congressmen that voted to go to war? You don't hear about that no more. What about the famous "Blood for Oil"? Saddam's gone, and we didn't even strike a deal for ANY oil, much less cheap or free oil. Liberals only use arguments that they think the portion of the American public who aren't paying close attention will believe.
Notice alot of Dems. becoming left-leaning Inds. lately? Because so many Socialists (read: Communists) have infiltrated the Democratic party. Wanna know how great Communism is? Ask an East German. Then ask a West German. Then ask a Cuban who'd rather risk his life navigating 90 miles of rough ocean on a raft made out of used raincoats than live under a communist regime.

Liberals hate America nad are trying to destroy it.

 
At October 27, 2006 4:36 AM, Blogger FeverDog said...

This site is hilarious! I've been reading through it for hours and I'm still not sure whether some of the commenters are in on the joke. Fascinating.

 
At November 08, 2006 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The solution!
Hey Mr. Steele,
I found a solution to your problem.
Simply kill youself and the liberals will no longer bother you. Unless there really is a hell, then you'll be where you belong. But if you are right, and we all know you're not, you'd be in hell with all the people you say should be there already. Now you've got yourself a moral delema! Maybe you could ask some liberal who's already going to hell to kill you so you'll go to heaven and be free from the liberals. At least the rest of the world would be free from you.
J.J.J.

 
At November 14, 2006 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep the red flag flying high!!!!!

we are coming to get you capitalists proletarii vseh stran soediniates!

 
At December 11, 2006 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I recommend someone kill the anonymous person who talks about killing.

 
At December 20, 2006 1:42 AM, Anonymous lomaak@gmail.com said...

Are you guys kidding me? this whole column is littered with one sided stupidness. Fuck the conservatives. Fuck the liberals. Your pathetic bitching is what is ruining the country. If you sum up all of my opinions, on the bottom line you'd call me a liberal. Fuck you too. I don't care what title i'm given, God has no place in the minds of our legislature. These are the words of a church-attending christian. Politicians are still using the religious movement to get into office. Quit hiding, who cares about abortions or the gays. Or Iraq. This isn't a theocracy, i didn't even bother to read all the biggoty crap that was labeled as "Comments" here. Not to say they're worse, but every week i read about some republican being investigated for Corruption. Corrupted politicians deserved to be hanged. That goes for the Demo's too. Okay. I have to agree with something you said, mr. Steele. Blocking the oppositions opinion is a wonderful way to get elected. Hitler did alright, didn't he? Nazi.

 
At December 25, 2006 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liberal Morons,
This is a blog, run by one person who wishes to talk about his views with other like minded people. So of course he doesn’t want to waist his time with your idiotic opinions. If you want an open discussion go to a forum where that kind of thing is encouraged, and leave the blogger alone.

Here is one that is geared towards open discussion…
http://www.thebrinkofreality.net/forums/

(fellow Conservatives are of course also more than welcome.)

 
At December 26, 2006 1:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! The comments here are funnier than the blog :) And somehow at the same time, deeply distrubing :|

 
At January 12, 2007 1:31 AM, Anonymous The Libertine said...

I could really care less what a liberal thinks or says... I just don't want to be ruled by them. I worked it out. Someone who makes 10K a year from age 20 to 65 will not even get back from the government what they frigging paid in . . . not time value of money 0% interest. Who the hell does this help! Why can't all the libs run their little social experiments by themselves and pay for it themselves. Why can't I just opt out. It's not like any government social program will ever help me anyway.

 
At May 07, 2007 2:52 PM, Anonymous JohnnyCakes29 said...

LOL....This site is hilarious...
It might as well be called TROLL central, becuse its clearly run by a liberal posing as a charcature of a right winger-I suppose the objective is to show how 'absurd' the right is by pretending to be one- but this guy is so over the top he reveals he's clearly from the left...Becuase he's acting like the 'bogeyman' that Libs paint convervatives as being... Im a republican- but noone on the right is this ignorant...Evolution is satanism? Give me a break...
Libs can say whatever they want- i welcome it- they hang themselves with their own words..

 
At May 07, 2007 2:58 PM, Anonymous AbeFrinklin said...

Hey Flagwaver,
when is the last time Michael Moore has been in the news? Its been a couple years..Yet its the right who keeps bringing up his name...People on the left AND the right are opposed to Bush's war because all the reasons for it have been discredited-and Iraq is in the middle of a civil war- and our troops are dying for nothing....
Remember, the US put Saddam in power and backed him during the Iran/Iraq war, so for the US to boast it saved Iraq from the clutches of the evil saddam hardly carries any weight- since we put him there in the first place! thats fact, not theory.

 
At August 09, 2007 10:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never worked a hard day in my life, you liberal scum bag, ive fought for this country through multiple tours overseas, and you would dare claim that. Oh NO, cooking burgers over a stove, such difficult work. Try crawling on your face when rounds are coming down range at you, you slimly immoral, immasculine, degraded filth. Your own so proclaimed "father of liberalism" John Stuart Mills can be quoted as saying "war is a horrible thing, but not the most horrible of things. The decayed state of human morals that believes nothing is worth war, nothing more valuble then ones personal safety, is truly a pathetic creature, with no hope of being free unles made or kept so, by men better than himself." Ive seen Iraqi's spit on the corpse os a suicide bomber, while in a line trying to vote, shaking my hand and thanking me for my brother's lives in giving them the gift of democrazy.. what have you done.. and you call us ignorant. crawl back in your pot-ridden cave.

 
At February 04, 2008 12:19 AM, Blogger Guest999 said...

I'm surprised. You've managed to troll your own blog. Congratulations.

 
At September 01, 2008 7:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

G.W. Bush is a failure and the worst president in modern times, if not all of US history.

"Pro Life" is a misleading moniker because when the precious fetuses are born they are promptly thrown under the bus to wallow in poverty. See: republican defeat of SCHIP children's health care bill.

All of the great advances in our society have come from liberals. Women's suffrage, civil rights, winning WWII and defeating fascism, the Marshall Plan, the list goes on.

Gay marriage is a great leap forward for our society.

This is not a Christian country, it is a secular country (as enshrined in the constitution).

Unions should have far more power.

Creationism is just crazy and wrong and anyone who believes we should teach it in schools is a complete moron, end of story, no debate, and please stop voting.

Thank you for reading my tirade, and may God curse the republican party to eternal damnation forevermore. i can't wait until 30 years from now when the secular, wildly liberal youth of this country represent the mainstream. folks, conservatism is dead. live with it. peace out.

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN

 
At October 21, 2008 4:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a fiscal conservative. Money built our nation and money is now tearing us apart. I could give a s*** about abortions and gay people getting married at this point. Make no mistake the instutiton we built is going to FALL by the hands of George Bush's business partners.

REPUBLICANS ARE NOT CONSERVATIVES

They've squandered the resources of this nation and they've sold us out to the Arabs and the Chinese and the Indians and all of the other people that we are NOT going to be able to compete with.

And by GOD you folks are going to sleep in the bed you made. Future generations of conservative will hang their heads in shame at the sheer incompetence of the American government and its cronies.

 
At October 25, 2008 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See, why is it that only liberals are immature enough to go on conservative websites and start a ruckus... hey i say we go back at them with the same game.

 
At February 08, 2009 10:27 PM, Anonymous Robinson said...

America has to wake up and realize the liberals have to be eliminated. They reject God, kill babies,ect. They want 400 milion dollars for std prevention among many other crazy pork projects. Globle warming they cry, but fly jets like we do cars. Most americans know nothing about politics and it showed by electing obma , what a joke. Where in some major trouble.

 
At February 10, 2009 5:52 PM, Anonymous doomed white man said...

I am so sick of these liberals filling govt. Jobs with these stupid afro-americans who are rude, unknowlegable of their jobs. They know they can't be fired so screw every white person they can! They misdirect our calls ,they loose paper work, hell they can't even get an order right at a hamburger joint.

 
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At April 22, 2009 10:02 PM, Anonymous Army Vet, 2 Kids now Serving said...

Don't click any of the above links. I mistakenly believed that these links would jump me ahead to the latest posts but instead led me to porno sites.

God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Bible-believing Americans shall indeed have the last word and shall inherit not only America, but the entire Earth...so help us, God!

 
At April 23, 2009 2:44 AM, Blogger cvxv said...

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