Monday, May 23, 2005

Moral Mailbox: My Boss Is Gay

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Welcome to the first installment of the Moral Mailbox, a forum where moral questions are answered by your bastions of moral strength, Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes. Let's get to our question (clearly not edited for grammar):

im faced with a moral dilema in my place of employment. my manager has made it very clear that he is openly gay. as a conservative christian i find it problematic to follow orders from someone morally inferior. what should i do? - concerned christian

This is quite an ethical dilemma, Concerned Christian, or at least that's what I would say if I weren't ten times more wise than Solomon.

This reminds me of a situation at my own place of employment that happened about 6 years ago. I had just been transferred to a different department and was moving the contents of my desk to my much larger new office. As I was setting my belongings onto my new desk, a woman stepped into my office. While I paused to think of what kind of coffee I would ask her to fetch for me, she stuck out her hand and spoke. "Hello, I'm your new boss," she said. At that point the room began to spin.

It's a very difficult situation when the corporate order runs counter to the natural order as in either of these cases.

First of all, it is important to remind your boss of how much God abhors homosexuality. This is something you should do daily. Because of laws that protect these fragile homosexuals against "hate speech" you should only make subtle comments. Some suggestions are:
  • Somebody just told me about Leviticus 18:22, and it's a real shame about your "lifestyle" being an abomination.
  • I hope God doesn't decide strike you down for your deviant sexual activities because I really enjoy working with you.
  • I was reading the Bible on my break, and I don't want to ruin the ending, but you go to hell for being gay.
You are morally obligated to convert your boss into a heterosexual. The only way to do this is to help get him in touch with his manliness. Toss a football around with him. Point out attractive female coworkers to him. Take him out to get a few beers after work with the guys. It's important to let him see how great it can be to associate with men for reasons other then having anonymous gay sex.

If this doesn't work, you can always do what I did to solve my problem. I stayed up every night plotting ways to make things right in my world. I sabotaged project after project for my female boss. I did this until it became clear to the higher ups that I was the right man for my boss's job. Like women, homosexuals just don't belong in positions of authority. Unfortunately, sabotage may be the only way to rectify this situation.

Send your own moral queries to: The Moral Mailbox.

35 Comments:

At July 04, 2006 6:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May God be merciful with you. Jesus came to earth to teach compassion, truth, and that we must love each other as he loved us and you do such deplorable comments and vicious attitudes among others. It is such a shame for God. It is such a shame for his son. It is such a lack of humanity in such strong hate.

I pray for a change, and I pray for your soul full of hate.

 
At July 19, 2006 11:35 PM, Blogger Word From Above said...

Wow, I didn't know they actually made people as suggestible as you. If god said to stab yourself in the eye and then have sex with a donkey and you would be deemed holy, would you do it? Or would you think for yourself and make a judgement call that the request is rediculous and something YOU don't think is the right thing to do.

You probably won't allow this comment because you are afraid that others might agree with what I am saying. That is fine, this is the standard practice of the church. Control the message and control the people. It is all a power game and you've fallen hook line and sinker.

 
At July 22, 2006 4:24 PM, Blogger Christian Girl said...

You're a frightening example of why I will never subscribe to organized religion. Although I don't believe in judging others--as God asks us not to in the Bible--I would have to believe that YOU are the one hell-bound, not some poor soul who has the misfortune of being homosexual! (Do you really believe, in our bigoted times, that anyone WANTS to be gay?! I don't believe that, given the CHOICE, anyone would CHOOSE to be homosexual. It's not a choice!) I would also conclude that your homophobia has something to do with your own, shall we say, propensity towards homosexuality, but your shame fills you with hate toward those who are honest about it. I pity you, sir; and I will pray for your ignorance to be enlightened before it's too late.

 
At September 16, 2006 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess this site is a joke aimed at making fun of people, like me, who agree with you and your anti faggot ways. Still, I applaud you for at least writing the stuff, no matter how... mocking... it may be.

 
At October 05, 2006 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a joke, right? I laughed when I read it, then I noticed people were making real comments on this.

You can't possibly think that women and homosexuals are actually beneath you, can you?

If you do, you really should go get some help for this problem that you have.

 
At October 05, 2006 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a joke... Look at the list of links to the right -- good liberal sites, all of them. This is hilarious stuff, tho!

 
At October 05, 2006 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this is hillarious. And even more hillarious that people fell for it.

Besides, everyone knows that gays are better than straights.

 
At October 06, 2006 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is wrong with people? At first I enjoyed the humor and felt optimistic about the fate of humanity having seen that someone's critical faculties are running at 100%. But then...those comments. I'll try to take comfort in the idea that perhaps I'm just not sophisticated enough to understand that people are piling irony upon irony.

 
At October 06, 2006 2:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's amazes me that real human beings have hateful thoughts like these, all justified and based on a god you have created to fit your small-minded social circles called 'churches'.
I pray that your kind either die off or evolve.

 
At October 16, 2006 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My bos was a huge leszbo so i did some shit to her at work like you said and all and lets just say that dyke dont work with me no more!

 
At October 26, 2006 10:58 PM, Anonymous corporate climber said...

You have forgotten to mention that there is actually a benefit to having an immoral, heathen, (obviously Democratic) gay boss : getting a head is generally easier with a sodomite boss. We god-fearing Republicans have an obligation to suc-ceed.

 
At November 08, 2006 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was telling the married woman I was in bed with last night that both myself and my husband are concerned about the moaral decay in this country.
Joe the Jock

 
At November 10, 2006 11:24 AM, Blogger Wiccan Priestess said...

Darlings, remember Neo-cons have absolutely no sense of humor, even if you strike them squarely between the eyes with it.

Forgive them, Goddess, for they know not. Period.

Blessings!

 
At December 07, 2006 4:17 PM, Anonymous RobW said...

It's a shame we have to resort to clandestine strategies like sabotage to achieve our moral obligations. I wish there were a sort of smite-remote-control I could walk around with and zap morally degenerate people. Those zapped would be given a high speed ticket to god's wrath. I'm tired of having to wait for them to die before going to hell.

 
At January 29, 2007 1:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, seriously!!!! You are ALL ignorant! To a degree, I am too! Crap, we are ALL ignorant to a certain extent! Let me just start by saying this: this whole gay thing was SATIRE. It was meant to be ridiculous, and it was meant to be way less than logical! You all took it way too far! And for those of you who say that "it's a choice".....it is NOT a choice! Have you ever asked someone why they were gay? If you ask somebody who's gay, OF COURSE they'll say that it's ok.......they don't want you to condemn them! But if they used to do gay things, but changed, they will tell you the truth, that they DID choose to do that!
When the Bible says that we were born into sin, it means that we were born into a sinful world, not that we were born with sin already in our own lives! I don't know exactly where.....I believe it's in Matthew......but in the Bible, it is said that "when a man lays with another man, in the same way that he lays with a woman, it is an abomination in the sight of the Lord." But, that does not mean that they can't be forgiven.
The bible says "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and everything else will be added unto you." If one seeks God and a relationship with him, above all things, then EVERYTHING will fall into place..........well that's my little mini sermon for now!! Good luck, and God Bless!! :)

 
At January 29, 2007 1:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey guys, I just wrote the last comment, and I just noticed a mistake.......I mean to say that it IS A choice, despite those saying that it isn't....sorry a/b that!

 
At April 03, 2007 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you gay people choose to be gay. NO ONE is born gay.
Just a warning, if anyone moves to Davis, CA get ready for intense arguments with everyone about this subject

 
At April 15, 2007 10:00 PM, Anonymous charliethebushlover said...

Moral confusion over sex and our various roles is understandable in todays world as a result of Bill Clinton so you are not alone.

I was the same as you, a gay man, craving for the company of other gays but fortunately Pastor Dobson and Faldwell have started me on the road to cure. Thanks to their "education" I have forsaken my evil ways and eleminated my moral confusion. I know I am a better man for it. In fact each time I see a beautiful woman in a bar I pray that someday God will make me a lesbian.
Keep up the struggle and God Bless G Bush..

 
At April 24, 2007 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! I agree with everything in your writing!

 
At July 09, 2007 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what kind of boss do you prefer? Man or Woman? Here is a poll: http://www.apopularitycontest.com/display_poll.php?ID=5628

 
At July 16, 2007 4:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Boss is Timmy Peter eater he is also gay.

 
At November 27, 2007 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU AND THIS WEB SIT ARE THE MAKINGS OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

 
At November 30, 2007 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

People don't choose to be gay.

Trust me. I hate being gay, why would I choose this? Why would I have attempted suicide if I simply 'chose' this?

 
At December 27, 2007 10:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is despicable. I can't believe someone would actually say things like this! For one thing having a woman as a boss is not a bad thing, saying that men can only be in authoritative positions is so old fashioned. And just because his boss is gay doesn't mean that he should be tortured, not everyone is the same. I understand you are true to your religion, but honestly we are in the 21st century, lighten up.

 
At February 05, 2008 3:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think the person who blindly follows the creeds of a false religion in which they only believe because of the environment they grew up in is morally inferior to the person who is true to their biological orientation despite the bull shit they face from ignorant people.

 
At February 13, 2008 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To everyone who can't tell that this site is a satire, I can only ask: Really? REALLY? You REALLY don't see the sarcasm?

REALLY REALLY?

Idiots.

 
At March 05, 2008 1:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this has got to be a joke. really tell me. please I need to know is it a joke or not?

 
At April 23, 2008 12:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Boss FORCED me to be gay with her. I'm a male an she's a lesbian so she made me where red stillouhetto high heel pumps. I was then bent over the desk at my cubicle and the pink roses panties on me were yanked off. I was assaulted with some kind of phallic machine she had strapped to her body. But as an angel whisked me to a safer zone in my soul, I can't really recall just what it was except it looked like some kinda plastic penis from what I could make out, bending my neck at quite an unpleasant angle over my shoulder. I don't hold it against her, I was taught to turn the other cheek. I do pray that the Lord won't send me to hell for what happened as I was afraid of losing my job, I knew I could be outsourced to India with the snap of a finger. Now I have a hard time getting an erection with my wife in bed, I can tell the kids know somethings wrong in the house since they're crying and fighting constantly. Homosexually in America has all but destroyed another family. I fear another 911.

 
At May 02, 2008 4:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Surely as a Christian man you see the wrong in "sabotaging your boss" to make yourself look better? It doesn't matter if your boss was female or a gay man or a straight man for that matter, what you did was wrong and immoral. How can you preach morality when you yourself have not demonstrated it. You are what give Christian men a bad name.

 
At July 29, 2008 4:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sir are a fucking asshole. Seriously, i can see that conservatives have a hard time with the whole homosexuality thing(which is still a horrible problem, and yes i am homosexual) But one would think that you would have at least have made it past sexism...How does being a woman or being gay affect any of the qualities that make a good boss...if your god is real i would imagine he/she will be sorely disappointed with the ways you choose to honor him/her.

 
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At April 23, 2009 2:41 AM, Blogger cvxv said...

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