Want to Talk to God? You Have To Go Through Me.

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Do you long for the time when children were read the Bible in school everyday and America had a more righteous citizenry? Do you wish we were still in the days where adultery was a punishable offense and women couldn’t vote? Do you also wish you could turn the clock back to before you knew what a “butt plug” was?

Well, don’t just stand there child of God, take up arms and follow me, there’s no time to lose.

I realize that the idea of ceding to a central moral authority (or authorities in the case) seems positively Catholic but just hear me out. In times like these there really is no other option. If you want to affect real change in this country you have to stay organized, stay obedient, and stay on message. That simply doesn’t work if everyone is trying to talk to God directly without realizing that He won’t waste his time listening to the prayers of every Tom, Dick and Harry Homo.

You first need to prove yourself worthy in order to be heard by the Almighty. The only two people here who have done so and have the ear of God are Herman and myself. God may not be listening to you, but I’m listening, my unworthy friend, and I’ll make sure Jesus is made aware of anything that I deem pertinent.

Maybe some of you already turn to a moral leader like James Dobson for your ideas on politics, Biblical interpretation, and child rearing. While I have tremendous respect for Dr. Dobson, he’s simply a little too advanced in age to see this thing to its conclusion. It’s time to jump off the Dobson ship before it sinks and begin riding the new wave of Christian conservatism. The Lord may not have taken Dobson into his final embrace just yet but He has already picked spiritual successors – Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes.

This movement thrives on charismatic leaders like James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. You people are fortunate enough to have two such leaders each with more than enough charisma to spare. We also have the wisdom and righteousness necessary to interpret the Bible correctly and allow it to inform our politics. From there we inform you of what your politics should be. And while it may be tempting to “cut out the middleman” and go to God yourself, He has no interest in being found by you directly.

To deny my moral authority or to deny Herman’s moral authority is to deny the authority of God. So put down your newspapers and books and pick up your Bible. I’m not asking you to read this Bible, mind you, but only to carry it with you. I’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to be made aware of within its pages.