Monday, June 12, 2006

My Two Part Plan for Bettering America

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

It’s not always enough to just talk about liberals and the problems they create – sometimes we need a clear plan to deal with these societal problems head-on. Therefore, I humbly submit a two part plan that I know can help change America for the better.

1. Immediately deport all “illegal immigrants”
This part is simple; we need to introduce legislation that would deport all illegal immigrants in this country back to Mexico (regardless of their country of origin). Amnesty is not an option here. These people broke the law in coming to this country and that makes them criminals. I say anything less than a savage beating followed by deportation is a sign of weakness.

2. Redefine the definition of “illegal immigrant”
Mexicans are trying to change every word in the English language to its Spanish equivalent while at the same time homosexuals try to redefine the very definition of marriage. It’s time we end this “war on words” and take back the English language and our country!

With our no nonsense deportation policy in place, the second step of my plan is to introduce a bill that expands the definition of who should be considered an illegal immigrant to include:
  • Anyone who speaks Spanish fluently
  • Homosexuals
  • Non Christians
In doing this we ensure that America is cleansed of its less desirable citizens and is that much closer to the Christian utopia we all pray so loudly for. Please, if you are reading this, call your Senators and tell them “No amnesty for immigrants, homosexuals, or Spanish speakers.”


At June 12, 2006 1:07 AM, Blogger Devil's Advocate said...

But I need slaves!!! How will I build my Imperial Palace without wage slaves demanding healthcare and "minimum wage salary"???

Also, the homosexuals are needed to fulfill the prophecy of the coming of the Antichrist. We need them here so that my reign on Earth can begin. Deporting them to an unimportant nation like Mexico won't allow the prophecy to manifest itself.

At June 12, 2006 12:41 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

devil's advocate: Don't you think I've considered the effect this may have on the end times. I certainly understand the implications of my plan and how dare you suggest otherwise.

I still have a lot to get done, so I'm in no hurry to usher in the apocolypse. The liberals who manage to escape deportation will come up with some other way to anger the Lord. There just won't be so many of them around to annoy me.

At June 12, 2006 1:09 PM, Anonymous Oliver said...

Why not just throw them all in concentration camps and gas them?

...oh, wait... that sounds kind of familiar.

At June 12, 2006 3:39 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

oliver: Oh boy, here we go again! Ok, so I guess that would make me Hitler in this little scenerio of yours, right?

This is so absolutely typical of you liberals. Anytime a conservative talks about cleansing a people there are the inevitable comparisons to the nazis from the far left. It's just sickening.

At June 12, 2006 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a gay guy at my church who is learning Spanish. (He SAYS it's because he's going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Ha!) He's been a relationship for 27 years with his "Partner" (Now THERE'S an example of a perfectly good American word that's had its meaning changed by homosexuals.)
So. Michael, my question is: Can you change your law so he can be deported twice?

At June 12, 2006 10:25 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: Well, some sort of treaty could be enacted with Mexico to have citizens like this deported from Mexico to an even worse country.

The only problem with this is that I'd be really hard pressed to find a place worse than Mexico, which as we all know is the anus of the Western hemisphere.

At June 12, 2006 10:33 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

I don't understand why dirty immigrants launch into some sort of diatribe whenever someone talks about cleansing them. There would be a lot less disease in the world if we had just one day when all these people could bathe. We could even provide access to the baths much like the Romans did. Maybe we could even call it the Roman holiday.

At June 12, 2006 10:40 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

Can English only heterosexual Christian Mexicans come here? I will feel sorry for them if we throw back the bad ones and don't take the good ones onto the mothership. Kinda like fishing, right?

At June 12, 2006 10:44 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

Wait, did anonymous say he goes to a church that lets gay guys be missionaries!?! Next thing we'll be hearing about gay priests. I just don't have the stomach for this.

At June 12, 2006 10:57 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

kirk: While I see your point, I think literally washing these dirty heathens before shipping them back to Mexico is rather pointless. Would you polish an empty tin can before throwing it in the trash?

I'm just saying why waste the water?

At June 12, 2006 11:07 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

blue gal: If we start allowing Mexican illegals here just because they're Christians then we start down a slippery slope. I personally can't stand anything slippery and or wet.

I understand the need to have some good solid Republican voters, but deporting all non Christians pretty much eliminates the Democratic Party. So there really isn't a need to keep any of them here.

At June 13, 2006 1:55 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Polish no. Rinse yes… when the dump is right next door to you. Let me tell you something, the people in the CC don't need no meteorologists when the hurricane is coming up from the south. We can smell it coming two days in advance. I hope nobody tries to misinterpret what I'm saying here.

At June 13, 2006 2:31 AM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

I agree with every point you make-but I also think we need to make sure that our people are the ones defining who among us is Christian. I hear a lot of Satanic mouthpieces (like Oprah, as an example) claiming that they are sons and daughters of Christ. Let us ensure that they, too, reap the rewards that they have sown. It isn't enough to claim devotion to Christ-you also have to show that you are actively WORKING for what Christ would have wanted-like the disenfranchisement of homosexuals, the affirmation of God's law as the law of the land, the conversion of conquered people in the Middle East, the consignment of nonbelievers to some hotbed of liberal Sodomite depravity like New York..... you get the picture.

At June 13, 2006 1:00 PM, Blogger Gunz said...

You are a joke!

At June 13, 2006 2:42 PM, Blogger Gunz said...

I also forgot to mention...

You guys look like used cars salesmen. Get out of this blogging business that you have no clue about. Go get a used car lot job, that is your higher calling. With the B.S. that comes out of your mouths you could sell thousands.

At June 13, 2006 4:08 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

gunz, and by extension drunken samurai: I love how you feel the need to reply to posts using nothing but personal insults. I challenge you to comment on an issue, any issue. I really doubt that you are able to partake in an intelligent discourse on which hot dog brand is better, let alone religion or politics. You are boring me, so I have decided to ignore both of you until such time as you are able to be rational and civil. I will discuss any issue with you, as long as it is a real issue, and not an excuse for you to use fifth grade insults. Thank you for the laughs.

At June 13, 2006 5:48 PM, Anonymous saltine said...

I believe a good rinse wouldn't hurt the tax payer. Put the illegals on inner tubes and pull them across the Gulf of Texas. They can also be made to swim across the River Grand. On the west coast a good dip in the ocean would take care of the problem, especially during a strong riptide flowing to the southeast. If any environmentalists complain about the oil slick well, they better know how to swim.

At June 13, 2006 8:07 PM, Anonymous durante vita said...

Best of luck to you.

At June 13, 2006 10:22 PM, Blogger Sues said...

Herman, You accuse Gunz and Samurai of using nothing but personal insults and not being able to discuss an issue.

Ha! You respond to anyone who disagrees with you in exactly that manner.

On another post when "Laurie" told you that God said to love your neighbor, you told her,

" I am suprised that your husband has not "called you away" to do the dishes yet. Things like that don't do themselves, you know. Women do them."

Then when she told you that she wouldn't take your bait and that Jesus loves you, you responded by saying,

" I would not give you my "bait" if you asked, you Godless hussy. In the olden days I would be reporting you to your husband for a stoning."

Gee, Herman, you are doing exactly what you ask others not to.

I know that this is your blog and you have the right to insult anyone you choose, but if you want to have an acutal discussion istead of just hurling insults at everyone who disagrees with you, then you better actually discuss something.

Notice that I am not insulting you. I am merely quoting you and offering an observation for discussion. Lets see how it goes from here.

At June 13, 2006 11:15 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

sues: You made one very good point in that long, long comment. It is my blog, and I can do what I choose. Good of you to notice.

At June 29, 2006 1:12 PM, Blogger pootin said...

can't you somehow include liberals in the definition of illegals? That would be a way of getting rid of this wart on america's backside once and for all.

At June 29, 2006 7:30 PM, Anonymous I.A. Right said...

Just a thought, don't Ted Kennedy and Jorge W. Bush both speakey spanich?

Seems they too must suffer the judgement due "Illegal Aliens" and be bathed and deported with great haste!

However with no polititians and no mexicans, who will be left to steal from us???

At July 02, 2006 3:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're doing your part to silence those who would destroy our American way of life.

The problem with the liberals is their cowardly fear of death. Pretty soon this earthly plane will be finished anyway. Why do they care so much about global warming? Why do they fret so much about capital punishment? Why do they hate our right to have guns? Why are they so concerned about "innocent" people dying in Iraq? They just don't get it. This plane doesn't matter; and when we get to the one that does, we're going to have to answer for our coddling of homosexuals and giving those lazy poor brown people a free pass. Jesus said "render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's"; in other words, anyone who hesitates to submit to the will of those the Almighty put in place to rule us deserves quick dispatch into the flames that await him, and those that kill the infidel is blessed.

My liberal sister just dragged me to see that awful Al Gore movie. Near the end of the movie there is a shot of the earth taken by one of those unmanned space ships from millions of miles away, so that our planet looked like a little blue dot. This is the other problem with liberals--they think we're a blue dot! They think we humans actually have a say in the fate of our own survival! How arrogant can you get?

Let's get this straight, people. Jesus is the one who has the final say. Jesus loves it that there's been so much bulk carnage lately, because it will make His job easier as we go into the final days. We true conservative Christian Republicans love death and will endeavor to create as much of it as possible.

What we do hate, however, is disloyalty. This is something else the liberals don't understand. On 9/11 we were hit and so we hit back. Period. End of story. Anybody who tries to confuse the issue by bringing up history or wondering if we brought it upon ourselves is guilty of treason. This is family, people. Us against them. Loyalty means killing. Women understand this; that's why, no matter how liberal they profess to be, they fall in love with men who are prepared to kill for their family. Liberals simper and grieve; Conservatives kill, grab the loot, and kill again. And when we die we will have no regrets. You keep on censoring, and keep on celebrating the GOP, the glorious party of death.

At July 02, 2006 4:23 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

long-winded anonymous: Most people who author books at least want some credit for it.

At July 02, 2006 4:25 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

i.a. right: I can only assume that "speaky spanich" roughly translates to "i.a. right is a dolt".zoljnced

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