Thursday, December 22, 2005

I Spy a Terrorist Hiding Behind The Constitution

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I'm starting to get really tired of people overreacting to the current domestic spying situation. Yes, the President of the United States obtained wiretaps on several Americans without going through the normal legal channels. He's admitted to doing this, so what exactly is the problem? Our president is spying on terrorists and keeping America safe, not murdering puppies. Let's get some perspective here people.

The only people who would object to being spied on are those with something to hide. Do you have something to hide? Are you a terrorist hiding behind the so-called "right to privacy" in the United States Constitution? If so then I'm not really concerned that you might have to look over your shoulder wondering if "Big Brother" is watching. If you're a terrorist then anything more than the rights that would be afforded to you in a Gitmo jail cell is too generous.

It's not just the bad guys who should be watched though, because even upstanding citizens like me can benefit from a little government supervision. It's a simple fact that when you're being monitored you're more likely to follow the rules. Law abiding people like myself have nothing to fear from a little government surveillence and we should welcome it. When you know you're being watched, you're less likely to do something that could harm yourself or your country.

Take my family for example. What would happen if I decided my wife Carol should have a bit more privacy? If she wasn't under my constant watchful eye, there's no telling what sort of trouble she could get herself into. Or how about my son, Michael Jr.? Just imagine the kind of depraved things he would do alone in the bathroom if he didn't know I was there with my ear pressed to the door. I won't apologize for thinking my son's "right to privacy" is less important than fighting the evils of self-abuse. Any responsible parent will agree.

And so it is the same for our country. President Bush is simply a concerned father keeping an eye on terrorists and also making sure that the rest of his citizens don't do something wrong. Look, you can say that you believe in protecting civil liberties and other such nonesense but I know what you mean. You see, I've cracked Al Queda's secret code on this one, "I don't approve of President Bush spying on Americans" translates directly to "As soon as nobody's looking, I'll commit a heinous act in the name of Allah."

39 Comments:

At December 22, 2005 10:08 PM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

Hear Hear!

The President stays awake nights trying to outwit the terrorists, and any help he can get, he should get! Does anyone really think that if the President heard about your Uncle Harold's hernia surgery in a phone call, that he'd even care? Liberal scum, stop whining and start focusing on what is important here!!!

 
At December 23, 2005 9:16 PM, Anonymous joe said...

My sediments exactly. The Constitution is just a piece of paper, but having Big Brother watch you is a great idea.
Constantly waging war is the only way to keep this country safe, and it's just good for the economy. I mean look at the record profits made by our great American oil companies. This would not have been posslble with a president who paid attention to the weak and whining public. Buck up America.
MGS you are a great father for protecting your sons eyesight.

 
At December 23, 2005 9:32 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

conservative patriot: Excellent point. It's not like the President needs any help outwitting them, it's more a matter of identifying them.

Enter, wiretaps. Once he finds them, Bush can then use all of his cunning to outsmart those dastardly evil-doers.

joe: I am not only a good father to Michael Jr., but also to all who read this blog. Many see me as a comforting father figure leading them to the true path of righteousness. Keep up the good work, son, you make your father very proud.

 
At December 26, 2005 11:29 PM, Anonymous juwan said...

Happy KWANZAA MoFo

 
At December 26, 2005 11:38 PM, Anonymous kosher dill said...

Happy Hanukkah,
May your friends...(I'm sorry), your family be LIBERAL with gifts and happy thoughts for you. Nazi.

 
At December 28, 2005 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do people still think the Bill of Rights applies to them?

Think it out: is the original US Constitution still valid? No! There have been amendments, and each amendment invalidates the previous ones, for the latest amendment is the valid one.

So! What do you care about the first few amendments? Since there have been later amendments, those are no longer valid, as the original Constitution isn't either!

 
At December 30, 2005 3:53 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Michael: I think you hit on another issue in your post. Parents like us are able to protect our children because of our undying love for them. But, the government does virtually nothing to help us. When they first started talking about the V-chip, I thought that is would be a device implanted on the kids in order to either detect or deter unsavory behavior. Perhaps with the growing threat of terrorism we can finally get action by the government. Why not plant a chip on every child below the age of 25 that not only monitors possible terrorist activity, but also sends a mild shock when it detects self abuse?

 
At December 31, 2005 11:47 PM, Anonymous joe said...

I agree with Kirk. V-chips are the wave of the future. If we keep conservatives in office I'm sure we will have V-chips keeping all Americans in line.

 
At January 01, 2006 12:04 AM, Anonymous tim said...

I'm the first to comment in the new year on your blog. It's an omen. Liberals will defeat conservatives in '06 ( the year of the legal notice) HA HA!! Conservatives will lose their power. THE PEOPLE WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At January 02, 2006 7:32 PM, Blogger Dustin said...

i dont have a problem with bush tapping into terrorist phone calls, and only terrorist. he dont have a reason to be listening to anyone's conversations unless he has reasonable doubt to make him believe they are terrorist. Otherwise, i dont agree with Bush and i know the congress dont either, that is why he extened the patriotism act thing. hmm...

 
At January 03, 2006 8:15 PM, Anonymous cochise said...

Michael: IYou sure look like someone who is guilty of something, but I just can't put my finger on it. Oh well, I have a powwow to go to

 
At January 06, 2006 1:58 AM, Anonymous joe said...

I agree with anonymous. Why should we pay attention to a 200 year old document. Let's really get crazy and find some 2,000 year old documents to pave the future of our country. We should save the ancient documents as a silly little part of history, but not live by the words of these dead, fossilized bastards armed with ink and quill

 
At January 10, 2006 10:59 PM, Anonymous seph said...

I was told by an invisible pink unicorn that this was a good site to visit. I believe Joe was persuaded by pink elephants to make his last statement.

 
At January 15, 2006 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, then how do we explain the NSA spying on anti war protestors, who are NOT terrorists:


http://rawstory.com/news/2005/National_Security_Agency_spied_on_Baltimore_0110.html

Also, the NSA spying program started BEFORE 911, truthout has an articel about it.

Even Sen Arlen Spector(R), haas raised the possibility of impeachment.

Our founding fathers lived like eagles, permitting no-one to tread on them and sending a king sniveling away with his tail between his legs, and yet we are prepared ot live as mice, skittering about and trashing our freedoms for a little security.

It's shameful.

 
At January 16, 2006 2:24 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anti-American Americans: If you had nothing to hide then you wouldn't mind the government listening in on your calls. So, what are you hiding? I'll take a wild guess that you are afraid that your neighbors will find out that you are a bunch of anti-American big government liberals. If you are so embarrassed about it, then why don't you just start being patriotic and bury your shame?

 
At January 17, 2006 3:25 PM, Blogger scribe said...

so how's school guys?

 
At January 19, 2006 10:53 PM, Anonymous over your shoulder said...

Readers

We are sure you have noticed that Mr. Steele and Mr. Hayes are absent from this weblog. These two traitors are now in custody of Homeland Security. See, wiretapping is good for the country. You can all sleep in peace tonight.

P.S.
Invest in ham radio equiptment.

 
At January 23, 2006 3:32 PM, Blogger scribe said...

God bless America!!!

 
At January 25, 2006 7:08 PM, Anonymous buttermilk said...

YOUR AS SUCKS BUTTERMILK

 
At January 26, 2006 1:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Courts have already rules the wiretaps are legal - even warrantless. The wiretaps are being done on terrorists/suspected terrorists. The NSA doesn't care about your uncle's surgery - but it does care about driving planes into buildings or whatever it is the terrorists will try next, as well as who is funding the terrorists. So Bush has done nothing illegal in choosing to protect the people of this country.

 
At January 30, 2006 6:10 PM, Blogger scribe said...

guilty as charged.

 
At January 30, 2006 11:47 PM, Anonymous greatest ball licker in history said...

This dirty rat bastard loves to lick ball lickers balls. As a matter of fact he lick balls like a goddam robot. His online name is [BotBoy]

 
At February 04, 2006 12:41 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

I just wish Michael and Herman would return from whatever righteous mission they are on to restore order to this once beautiful website. It saddens me to see it has been so overgrown with liberalism… and not just ordinary anti-American liberalism, but anti-Christian homosexual liberalism as well.

 
At February 16, 2006 2:26 PM, Blogger Joe Zombie said...

I turned MGS & HBH in to the authorities. Everybody should smoke bud and have a wild orgy in the street.

 
At February 20, 2006 3:49 PM, Blogger KEvron said...

wire taps, shmire taps! what happened to the good ol' days, when our opponents were clearly marked with the number of the beast?!

KEvron

 
At February 21, 2006 11:31 AM, Anonymous nazi pole smoker said...

. . . or yellow stars of david armbands.

 
At February 23, 2006 9:43 AM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

I'm sure Mr. Steele and Mr. Hayes are very busy helping our President in his time of need, but I lie awake at night thinking of both of you gentlemen. You are near to me always and I miss you.

 
At February 27, 2006 2:01 AM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

where did you go, Micheal??? come back, I like this blog!!!

 
At February 28, 2006 4:05 PM, Anonymous joe said...

I announce that all comments made on Kirks blog shall not have a homepage for me to FUCK with

 
At May 01, 2006 12:40 AM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

did someone murder herman and micheal? for shame!

 
At May 13, 2006 5:44 PM, Blogger News from Mad Plato said...

I guess you'll have to reconsider what you wrote.
Not a few...but millions of Americans have been under surveillance...all of them with something to hide. Yeah, sure.

 
At May 22, 2006 8:45 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

Do not worry, bushcheney08, all will be well.

 
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At July 28, 2007 7:03 PM, Blogger George said...

yes, yes, if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to worry about. your innocence must be proven.

 
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