Rush Limbaugh's Little Blue Nightmare

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I’m sure many of you have heard the seemingly disappointing news about Rush Limbaugh. For those of you who haven’t, here’s the “story” as the mainstream media is reporting it:

.. Limbaugh was detained Monday for more than three hours at Palm Beach International Airport, upon returning from some R&R in the Dominican Republic. Customs officials reportedly found a bottle of [Viagra] in his bag--but his name wasn't on the prescription

As you can imagine, liberals are having an absolute field day with this story. I just find it so fascinating that godless unbelievers would have the gall to cast judgment upon anyone, let alone a man as thoroughly righteous as Rush.

Yes, yes, I do realize that Rush has had problems with prescription pain killers. He’s admitted to this and has gotten the treatment he needed. While I’ve never had such a moral lapse, it seems that sometimes God’s children (read: Conservatives) are entitled to make mistakes. The difference between him and some strung out kid in the ghetto is this - Rush had a job that paid well. Jesus is more than willing to take you into his arms and forgive such indiscretion as long as you’re a contributing member of society. Otherwise, it’s just you and your crack pipe.

But, back to this Viagra story and the true explanation that the media just doesn’t seem to get. You see, Rush went to the Dominican Republic for one reason and one reason only… to prove his righteousness to himself and to all of us.

Rush obviously experienced a great deal of self-doubt after his bout with OxyContin addiction. “Am I still the morally upright person I proclaim to be?” “Can I still continue to cast stones even though I am no longer without sin?” He probably asked questions like these over and over again in his head. But ultimately he realized that too many people depend on him and that he needed to do something to rebuild his moral confidence.

Now, the best way that I know of to prove your righteousness is to put yourself in a situation where you are strongly tempted to sin so that you can resist this temptation. Rush Limbaugh clearly understands this and took his bottle of Viagra to a place known for its prostitutes and flourishing sex industry – the Dominican Republic.

I can picture Rush now, walking down those dusty streets with the bottle of Viagra in hand. He pops a few of those little blue pills into his mouth as he continues down this road and towards his ultimate redemption. He walks by a group of brown skinned temptresses who offer to fulfill any depraved sexual desire he might have. But he resists. Even though his member is fully engorged and throbbing he still resists.

Could you liberals honestly say that you would have as much moral fortitude as Mr. Limbaugh? Would your response be the same?

So before you cast moral judgment on this great man, ask yourself this: how many Dominican whores could you walk past with an erection before you gave in to your base carnal desires?