Monday, July 10, 2006

Help Santorum Stop the PA Mexican Invasion!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

My absolute favorite senator, Rick Santorum continues to lag behind his Democratic opponent Bob Casey in the polls. Sadly, it seems that much of Pennsylvania is simply not as charmed by his anti-homosexual vitriol as I am. But fortunately, Santorum has now found an issue that can really get those poll numbers turned around in his favor: illegal immigration. It is in fact the subject of his first TV ad which is currently running throughout the state.

I know, as a Pennsylvania resident, just how important this issue is to all of us. And really all one has to do is consult a map and note our proximity to Mexico to understand how big of a threat it is for everyone in this state. So realizing this, Santorum has begun to hammer Bob Casey on the issue. Unfortunately though the uni-browed State Treasurer is fighting back:
Mr. Casey has criticized his opponent for votes against penalties for employers who hire illegal immigrants. Last week, Mr. Santorum insisted that he supports sanctions against any firms that knowingly break the law, but said that the primary responsibility for insuring that workers are here legally lies with the government.
I couldn’t agree more, Rick. Employers should not be held responsible for hiring illegal immigrants unless they personally drive to Mexico and bring them illegally into this country themselves. We cannot expect employers to take any extra steps to ensure their workers are legal or that their documents are legitimate. It’s not their problem that they don’t further scrutinize who they allow to work for them, it’s our problem.

While it seems that both Santorum and Casey wish to do something to prevent Mexicans from physically crossing the border, Casey selfishly ignores the desires of employers to hire cheap labor. Removing the incentive for Mexicans to cross our borders in the first place does nothing but unfairly tie the hands of businesses who want more choice in who they can hire.

Santorum will continue to gain leverage on this issue as long as Casey is seen as being on the side of amnesty for illegals and against business. So this brings me to what all of us can do to ensure that Casey continues to appear on the wrong side of this debate: Donate $18.25 to Bob Casey’s campaign.

What’s the significance of this number you ask? Well, 1825 is the year of Mexico’s independence and in donating this you are making it clear to everyone that Mexicans support Bob Casey. If you choose to make a check out to the Casey campaign for this amount, be sure to include the note: “Gracias por la amnistía” in the memo field. Even making a small contribution like this to Bob Casey we can help stop the Mexican invasion and also secure the Senate seat of one of the holiest men ever to grace the hallowed halls of the United State Senate - Rick Santorum.

Idiotic Counterpoint: It’s an Illegal Employer Problem

20 Comments:

At July 10, 2006 12:55 AM, Blogger Fran / Blue Gal said...

How can there possibly be no comments to this incredibly important issue? American politics simply would not be the same without Rick Santorum. Thank God. And thank Conservatives for American Values.

 
At July 10, 2006 12:13 PM, Blogger The Truffle said...

You realize that Rick Santorum is a closet homosexual, don't you? There has even been fanfiction featuring him in homosexual pairings with David Vitter. People wouldn't be writing this stuff if there weren't a gay subtext to the whole Republican administration.

 
At July 10, 2006 12:21 PM, Blogger The Truffle said...

PS: If you don't believe there's something seriously gay about Senator Santorum, let me clarify things by directing you to my very own blog post on the subject.

 
At July 10, 2006 12:35 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

blue gal: Rick Santorum is an amazing human being. I think this really goes without saying.

The truth is that sometimes I make a point so well and so convincingly that there really isn't anything that anyone can add. I interpret the lack of comments as complete agreement on the part of our visitors.

the truffle: It's obvious that you've never met the man. I have. Rick is perhaps the straightest man I have ever met.

Of course homosexuals are attracted to Rick, they simply can't help themselves. Santorum is the epitome of masculinity so I'm not surprised that they would concoct such fiction which only stems from their own overwhelming attraction to him.

 
At July 10, 2006 2:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost crapped my pants reading this article!!!!Its obvious what must be done. We MUST engage in a military confrontation with Mexico and take over Mexico. I would be more than happy to report the results from the ongoing conflict from a radio/television studio stateside (hint hint Fox).

 
At July 10, 2006 2:48 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

theodore nugent: I think that's a pretty reasonable response. It's a real threat and Santorum is the only one who's doing anything about it.

As for starting a war with Mexico I don't think that's such a good idea. It's not that I'm opposed to the idea of starting war with another country without prevocation, but Mexico simply isn't worth occupying. It would be like starting a fistfight over the contents of a trashcan.

 
At July 10, 2006 3:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm.....wait.....ow my brain..... if Santorum is so hell-bent on stopping illegal immigration, shouldn't he be targeting the REPUBLICAN party, you know, for not doing squat about it?

 
At July 10, 2006 4:11 PM, Blogger The Truffle said...

Santorum is obviously busy trying to keep his love affair with David Vitter a secret.

 
At July 10, 2006 7:12 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

anonymous: This is what happens when liberals try to think. They only hurt themselves. Wait, they also hurt America.

the truffle: Yes yes, we all get your stupid point, Santorum = gay. Not much for subtlety are you? Hammering away at the same misguided point seems to be your style.

Well, go hammer somewhere else, as anymore comments questioning Santorum's sexuality will be deleted.

 
At July 10, 2006 8:19 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Ricky has to be a closet homo..I mean who in their right mind wears seersucker with a pink tie for the love of god?

 
At July 10, 2006 9:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Pennsylvania should build a big wall on the New Jersey border.

 
At July 10, 2006 9:27 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

dusty: You are so naive. Read Herman's post on the matter before you continue to spout such nonsense.

dances with beagles: I think walling off the entire state wouldn't be a terrible idea. It would ensure that no illegals could cross our state border and it would also keep out those stupid Vermont hippies.

 
At July 11, 2006 2:49 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Hermies post even had that fugly pic of Sanscrotum in that seersucker suit..but it did nothing to change my mind..ok.he is not homo..he is merely a real lousy dresser.

 
At July 11, 2006 3:04 AM, Blogger Tom Harper said...

OK, I'm sold. If I still lived in Pennsylvania I'd vote for Santorum. Damn those aliens! I will not listen to my hometown being called "Peetsborg." It's a sacrilege! We need Santorum to keep Pennsylvania for Americans!

 
At July 11, 2006 9:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where the hell is Pittsburgh? It sounds like "Ricky Boy" is just trying to get the nascar, trailer trash vote. Or he is trying to be like My Governor. The man that needs no Senate, or Congress, or President, to take care of an illegal infestation. Mr. Bill Owens of the great State of Colorado. Now we have an illegal immigrant problem. Heck just on my way to work this morning, I hit one as it jumped in front of my truck. That makes three this month. The insurance company says I should buy one of those big steel bumpers like you use for deer. He says I could save 10% on my auto insurance. I went to Mexico this weekend (Wal-Mart) to get fishing supplies. I did not know Mexico was so close. I am going to go there next weekend to check out the "Donkey Show". I hear if your in Mexico its a must see. So vote for "Ricky Boy". God Bless America.

 
At July 16, 2006 10:59 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

dusty: Guess what? Rick Santorum isn't one of those east coast metrosexuals who actually cares about how he looks or what color his tie is.

Rick Santorum is a man's man. Period.

I'm sure if he could, he would wear flannel while he rails against homosexuals on the floor of the Senate. But he can't, ok?

 
At July 16, 2006 11:03 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

tom harper: The decisions made by whoever occupies Santorum's seat next term will effect you in a very real way.

If you're serious about finding a practical solution to this immigration problem then you need to support any Senator willing to only focus on the border itself. We're never going to get that 50 foot high cement wall built with people like Bob Casey in the Senate.

 
At July 16, 2006 11:11 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

jonny doright: You touched upon an issue that nobody is really talking about yet. With all these Mexicans running around in the streets it poses a real threat to American drivers.

I personally have no interest in participating in a real-life version of "Frogger" as I make my way to work. If I have to make a trip to my auto detailer everytime I hit one of these Mexicans the cost could really begin to add up.

 
At September 23, 2007 9:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of the bigger things that kills me about this whole immigration movement bullshit is the bullshit argument that Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, etc. were somehow "stolen" from Mexico by the big, bad, evil USA. Oh, because, that's right, Mexico was such a peace loving utopia with the most magnanimous leaders this world has ever seen until we provoked them into finally taking up arms (and, they would have us believe, they did so begrudgingly). GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. Ever heard of the Constitution of 1824??? Where was your fucking peace-loving Mexican Utopia when Santa Anna decided to wipe that Constitution with his ass??? If any nation was ever a war-mongering, land-grabbing nation it was Mexico, and Spain before it. We stole the southwestern states??? Go cry me a river. Apparently history began when Mexico lost their land. Bullshit.

The only thing someone who professes this bullshit can say, while still being honest, is that we won, they lost, and they are bitter about it. And it's not as if their culture made such a huge impact at the time to even claim that it was a de facto Mexican state. This isn't the Rhineland. This isn't Alsace-Lorraine. The culture(s) in these regions, be they American, German, Scandinavian, Irish, American Indian, or anything else, not only rivaled but overpowered the "overwhelming" Mexican influence they claim they had. These regions were more Americanized than angry Mexicans today could ever hope to believe (why do you think Santa Anna rescinded the Constitution of 1824??? Texas was becoming too American and too hard to control under Mexican rule.). Most Mexican culture that is now commonplace in these regions is because of the gracious, freedom-loving culture of the US that embraces other cultures and allows outsiders to practice their customs freely, not because these regions are just "so obviously Mexican". If Mexico wants to claim these regions as their own, then I suggest they order their "army" to gather both their rifles, get on their squadron of mules, and just try to "take it back". Otherwise, shut the fuck up, stop taking advantage of a putrid welfare system, and, hey, here's an idea, maybe try to improve your own damn country instead of holding the US responsible for it being the shithole that it is.

 
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