The War on Christmas

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

It's been a while since I've found a cause as great as the one trumpeted by two champions of righteousness, John Gibson and Bill O'Reilly. Their message is a simple but important one: We must protect Christmas from the secular monsters who wish to destroy it. Never has the attack on Christianity been so blatantly obvious. But I guess such outward attacks remain a bit too subtle for even some supposed conservatives to recognize.

Of course anyone who's taken the time to read John Gibson's book the War on Christmas has no problem understanding this great threat. And if you've seen the O'Reilly Factor lately you're already well aware of the fact that certain stores are using the secular friendly greeting Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas in their seasonal advertising. I'm looking in your direction, Wal-Mart.

So what is the cause of all this insanity? Why do certain retailers refuse to specifically endorse the one true holiday of the season? Now some of my less thoughtful readers have suggested that it's just smart business. This might seem like a good point to your pathetically unenlightened minds, but I assure you that it isn't.

You pseudo-conservatives ask, "Why should these stores alienate non-Christians by only mentioning Christmas?" Looking at it clearly from a marketing perspective, shouldn't a more general greeting of Happy Holidays appeals to a larger audience and therefore maximize the impact of this advertising message? Well this may have been true in the past, but we Christians aren't going to stand for it any longer.

You just have to ask yourself who really benefits from the absense of the word "Christmas?" I mean it's a well known fact that Christians are by far the most generous gift givers and therefore spend a majority of the money these stores will make this season. As a businessman, you cater to the people who are going to make you money -- This is Marketing 101, people. Do you think it would be wise for Rolex to go out of their way to make sure homeless people are familiar with their new watch models? Or how about BMW, do you think they should promote their cars to jobless liberals who can't afford them? No and no, because these companies, unlike some visitors to this blog truly understand business.

Clearly it makes no sense from a business perspective for stores to be so "inclusive" in their advertising. So what would make these businesses lose sight of the bottom line? Or should I say who. There is only one twisted group who could make the companies forget that Jesus is the reason for the season -- activist atheists.More specifically, the activist atheists at the ACLU.

We Christians are wise to the ACLU's game though and have finally decided to draw a line in the sand. Retailers can either specifically acknowledge us Christians and ignore everyone else or find themselves on the receiving end of a financially crippling boycott. As the largest religion I think we've earned a little special recognition; and with the kind of buying power we have, retailers can't help but see it our way.