Monday, November 14, 2005

God Doesn't Help Unbelievers!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

You liberals really enjoy tempting fate, don't you? In Dover, PA there is a great theological battle taking place -- the battle over intelligent design. And what do the local residents of Dover do when faced with the choice between science or God? They turn their back on God and vote their local school board out of office for supporting intelligent design, that's what!

Pat Robertson is just as outraged as I am about these election results and said the following last week on the 700 Club:
I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city
I couldn't agree more, Pat. Although I want my readers to notice an important point about this quote that will no doubt get lost in the liberal media's "coverage" of all this. Pat isn't saying that God will punish the town of Dover with a natural disaster for disobeying him -- not that any of us would blame the Almighty if He did. No, on the contrary, Pat Robertson is simply saying that God won't protect the people of Dover if such an event does occur.

Let me try to explain the difference to you with a hypothetical story. Let's pretend that there's a man you work with by the name of Jim. Now let's imagine that Jim comes in one day and is exceptionally rude to you. Maybe he makes a cruel joke about the President's approval rating or says something rude about the tie you're wearing.

So anyway, later that same day you're walking down the street and you see Jim sitting inside of a Starbucks sipping one of those fancy coffee drinks. Then without warning the building catches fire with Jim trapped inside.

Now at this point you could take the metal trash can sitting in front of this Starbucks and break the window to allow Jim to escape, or you could simply watch. I mean, Jim really was a jerk to you earlier and I don't think anyone would blame you for just sitting back and enjoying the show. It's not as if you'd strapped Jim to a chair and set fire to him yourself, certainly not. It isn't like you've murdered Jim in this ficticious story -- it's at most depraved indifference on your part.

And this is exactly what Pat Robertson is talking about. It's not like God will exactly punish the people of Dover, He just might chuckle to Himself a bit if the residents of Dover find themselves trapped inside of a burning Starbucks with no way out.

8 Comments:

At November 15, 2005 12:56 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

This Jim guy sounds like he wants America to lose the war on terrorism. I hate him more than I hate the terrorists and almost as much as I hate the liberals. Jim will remember those flames slowly melting the flesh off his body as a happier time while he suffers the aguish of the eternal fires of Hell with all the rest of the blame America first crowd and all the employees of Starbucks for creating a culture of anti-Americanism.

 
At November 15, 2005 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so god really is a sadist!! taking the hypothetical story u wuld watch some1 die out of pride, becos some1 dsnt like ur tie?? and wot of the innocent people in starbucks, they r to just die?? mayb there were believers... just because one person made a cruel joke. i thnk u better re-think ur argument for the sake of humanity. and i thght god was benevolent. if they begged for forgiveness to the end, what of them then??

 
At November 16, 2005 12:20 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

kirk: While Jim is simply a rhetorical construct, he makes me sick as well. He's part of the "blame America first" crowd and also a card carrying member of the "blame Christians second" club. It's a good thing he doesn't exist or I would be forced to defend both my God and country with the full force of my righteous Christian fury.

 
At November 16, 2005 12:30 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

anonymous: You seem to be a little confused. You are addressing ME by posting to my blog. You ARE NOT chatting with your bff on AIM or "text messaging" one of your idiotic friends. So as such, I think it's reasonable for me to expect you to spell out your words completely (it's YOU not U, dummy).

I guess I should be glad that you haven't interspersed your comment with "LOL" or some other internet slag used by 13 year old girls. I don't think I ask too much of my commenters and I want you to do your best to string together a real sentence. And hey, maybe if that goes well you can try some capitalization next.

 
At November 16, 2005 5:24 PM, Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

>>He just might chuckle to Himself a bit if the residents of Dover find themselves trapped inside of a burning Starbucks with no way out.<<


He won't be alone LOL

 
At November 17, 2005 7:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These Dover people are forgetting that the only actual truth is the Bible, as given. A little more faith would help them see the truth.

The Earth doesn't seem flat to them? Well, it doesn't seem round to me, and nobody who ever walks down any street would say he is walking on a spheric ball! Why doubt the Bible? Why mess with so many "scientific" ideas and tests when with just ONE book it should be enough?

 
At November 19, 2005 5:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So MR Steele, Master of all things. I guess you are not going to dignify the question with an answer because of my spelling. Or maybe you are coverting from the actual responce, and I may suggest that you did not have a adaquate response. I take care to use proper english language. I am fully aware of the spelling of you thank you very much. And I would expect you address me equally as properly and do not refer to me as 'dummy' nor my friends as 'idiotic'. If you had half the amount of brain cells that they do, I do believe that you would re-consider your argument. But i suppose that really is too much to ask of you, judging by your earlier posts. No wonder the world is turning to dust. I frankly find you slightly insulting and very pompous.

 
At November 20, 2005 1:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous of the tenuous-grasp-on-her-mother-tongue: you have made my evening.

I totally heart your speeling and syntacks. Makes me want to rite: LOL. YKWIM? JHMFO!

No, but seriously, kiddo. Put down your cell phone, turn of your IM, and try listening to your professor (high school teacher?) once in a while. Someone is paying for the education you seem so deviously intent upon deventrating as if so much day old sushi, and you are giving No Child Left Behind a serious run for its money. Not that this is our blessed president's fault. He does his best. His very bestest. Dont u think so? LOL.

I am still reeling from your creative speeling to such an extent that I am not entirely certain how I might respond to your post, either first or second, though the hour and the wine are egging me on. Did you (u) have a point, and did I miss it? Was this high satire? Or is your mouth really frothing? I don't remember flicking any spittle on the screen; that must be yours.

Listen, sweetie; UR an undeniable QT. but before you continue to post idiotic things like these posts that do, albeit, give some of us a fun five minutes or so of dinner party entertainment, you might possibly take a look at Swift's *A Modest Proposal* before you get in too much deeper. Read it. Read it again. Stop. Don't open that PBR. Read Swift again. If you don't understand it, ask someone. It's simple stuff: anyone who can ingenuously argue biblical precepts without having read the Bible--any freaking part of it--in the original (am I wrong? I mean the original Hebrew and Greek, you yahoo: did your God speak N TXT MSG? LOL!), can surely understand as simple a concept as irony and satire. Get it? Hah. Hah.

Oh yes, that and a dictionary. Might I suggest the OED? Not as infallible as UR GD, but a good place to start.

By the way, what freaking version of the Bible told you God was benevolent? It wasn't the Torah. Was in the bit where Jesus smote the fig tree? Just wondering. Just curious. Always wondered where the benevolence came in. Nice idea and all that, but a bit post-Reformation, if it all comes down to it.

But again, don't want to muddle this whole thing with piddling details of history, linguistics, and fact.

 

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