If Kerry Had Won (Part I)

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

You know I look at President Bush's rapidly sinking approval rating and it just makes me sick. So to those who no longer support President Bush I offer you this glimpse into what might have been..

If Kerry Had Won

It's the year 2006 and just about one year to the day that President John F. Kerry was inaugurated. Former President Bush looks out from a darkened room in his Crawford ranch. "What has happened to this nation I love so deeply," he asks himself shaking his head in disbelief.

"Her promise of freedom is dying before my very eyes."

It's 9am and he's already drinking. He was clean for almost three decades but it only took three months of a Kerry presidency to drive him back to the bottle. A tear rolls down his unwashed face. "How could I have let this happen? How could the voters have let this happen?" He closes his eyes and takes another swig of Jim Beam. "The dream of America is dead."

Meanwhile back in Washington President John Kerry prepares for his first State of the Union address. His speechwriters are still finding it difficult to put a positive spin on his disastrous first year. After an unprecendented cut in military spending to help fund various welfare programs the US economy is in dire straights and over half the country is without a job. The writers decide to omit any mention of the economy from the speech. While they continue to hash out the rest of the wording, President Kerry argues with himself over his tie choice.

"The red tie makes me look strong, but maybe too strong."
"On the other hand this blue tie would be very comforting, but I don't know if it's bold enough"

Suddenly Kerry's Chief of Staff, Wesley Clark rushes into the room and interrupts. "We are under attack, Mr. President. There have been 11 coordinated attacks so far and that's not the worst of it. They say they have a nuclear bomb in every major city." Upon hearing this Kerry faints into Clark's arms but not before soiling himself. "God help us," Clark cries as he lets Kerry's lanky body fall to the ground. "God help us all!"

Soon after the attacks, the news networks begin showing footage of the terrorists involved in the attacks. Since we are no longer taking the fight to them, they took the fight to us and on our soil with a jihad vengeance. Their leader speaks to a frightened nation:

"We are responsible for these attacks and there are more to come unless you submit to our demands. Otherwise we shall unleash complete and utter desolation across your nation. Surrender your firearms and Bibles and we shall leave you in peace. Accept Allah as your God and denounce Jesus Christ and the attacks will end. "

Bush can't believe what he is seeing as he watches this terrorist leader speak these hateful words on his television. He doesn't hesitate for a second. He throws his half empty liquor bottle against the wall and it shatters. He is suddenly more sober than he has been in months. "I can't sit by and let this happen any longer. This ends now."

"George, where are you going?" Laura asks.
"I'm off to save this country from the evil-doers one last time," Bush says as he puts on his cowboy hat and walks out the door and into the night.

Read Part II