Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Battle Continues

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I have received some frantic emails from concerned readers about my sudden disappearance. Some of my followers have described themselves as alone and lost without my words to guide them. Fear not my children, I have not forsaken you.

I simply had to take a few days off to reflect upon my mission after some particularly harsh personal attacks. I have long been slandered and attacked for my deeply held beliefs. I am someone who has the nerve to proudly be a Christian Conservative in an atheist liberal world. I spoke my truth to the godless unbelievers at Bring it On! and my honesty was rewarded with cruel insults. I was greeted with more animosity than I was honestly prepared for.

Despite the best attempts of those heathens to beat me down, I am still here and still speaking the truth to you, my faithful readers. I will not be silenced by those whose cynical hearts are blackened by their own twisted and unholy ideology. I can't allow those who are morally inferior to shake me from my duties.

Those liberals who attack me are afraid of me, and rightfully so. They see in me a foe who is gaining more strength and influence with every post to this blog. They fear me and everything I am destined to become. They know this doesn't all end here. They understand that this blog is merely the start of an ever-growing empire: radio, books, funny T-shirts that enrage liberals and maybe even a TV show. This is where consumerism and conservatism meet. This is where I am ultimately meant to be.

So faced with the threat I pose to them, liberals call me a fraud. They have started an elaborate smear campaign to try and discredit me and my message. I thought I could wait just a month longer before the left-wing hate machine would swing into full gear. I thought I was safe from all this partisan ugliness for just a while longer, but I guess I just tempted fate for too long.

I had the guts to take on Goliath, but he didn't go down with one stone. I stand as the brave and noble David armed with the slingshot of truth and several large rocks of righteousness. I will continue beaming this lumbering giant with rocks until he finally falls to the ground. I may have stumbled after my last shot, but I have picked myself up now and will continue to fight this great battle. The powerful giant of liberalism will fall, this I promise.

23 Comments:

At July 21, 2005 2:00 PM, Anonymous Concerned Christian said...

THANK GOD you are safe!! I have been so concerned, I wore holes in the knees of my pants praying for you. I was even starting to need physical therapy from being on my knees for so long! The day will come when these demonistic heathens called "democrats" and "liberals" (I shudder at having to say those words...) will see the light, and in the center will be you, our earthly savior!

 
At July 21, 2005 2:29 PM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

The evil that is liberalism is like a dark cloud come to Earth, obscuring all attempts to find one's way to the truth. The fog lights provided by good men such as Herman and yourself are a vital part of our navigational aids, with which we will find our way through the murky dark of liberal lies and arrive at our destination of Conservative Truth unscathed by any detours or roadblocks these liberal monsters may have hidden in the darkness.

Stay strong, my friend. The day of our arrival is nigh.

 
At July 21, 2005 3:00 PM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

"First, how dare either of you question me."

It is okay for someone to ask about something you say, your all about conversion right? Well, you scaring them away by acting in a matter that makes you look like you think that your divinly appointed by god. because this is not true. Only jesus in the form of man and the 12 that followed him were blessed with that gift. If you think and say you have recieved that as well then you are a false prophet.

"Well, if this blog continues to grow in readership I may someday have enough followers to start my own religion."

what is this? Your leading your followers away from the one true christian faith? not only is that against god, but that will damn yourself to hell.

"Yes, that's probably because I'm 100% right."

What happened to "how dare you question me"? your questioning yourself with that phrase.
"Pretending to be a conservative when you're not one is just about as disgusting as it gets."

well, im beginning to think thats what your doing.

"Jesus loves all the little children, except the gay ones."

Jesus loves every single one of his creations. We are all sinners and so are gays. But gays are continuing to go down a path that will lead them to hell. But nonetheless, jesus still loves them.

"I consult Jesus before every post. He had no problem with that line."

If you think that jesus told you to say that then that influence that is inspiring you is the devil.
Micheal, you are straying off the path and are going over the top too much. Continue going that way and it will llead you straight to the devil.

 
At July 21, 2005 3:32 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

Bushcheney08, I have reason to feel that you, in fact, may have been corrupted by Satan. The Good Lord would never guide you towards questioning us. Never. Get back on the path.

 
At July 21, 2005 3:48 PM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

lol this is exactly what im talking about. its okay for someone to question you. that just tells you that they dont understand, and have fallen from the path. its your job to explain to them what something means or how something works that they dont understand.

 
At July 21, 2005 3:57 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

Fine, I will explain it to you. Get back on the right path, now, or else you will wind up in hell. Don't make me explain again.

 
At July 21, 2005 4:24 PM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

Your right herman. My apologies for ever questioning your or micheals godly appointed words.

 
At July 21, 2005 4:24 PM, Blogger BushCheney08 said...

oops! I mean mr. hayes.

 
At July 21, 2005 6:16 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

"Fear not my children, I have not forsaken you" - I'm detecting a bit of a God complex there M.G.C. If you're God, I'm Bob Dole.

Though I do believe the "several rocks of righteosness" are merely rolling around in your cranium, I am looking forward to seeing the funny T-shirts

 
At July 21, 2005 9:18 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

concerned christian: Of course I am safe, God's mission for me is not quite completed. I appreciate your prayers and throughts as they help to give me the strength to continue this great battle.

conservative patriot: Your words are like poetry. The real beauty of this comment though is not the words, but the truth of my ideas that you've reiterated with such craft.

 
At July 21, 2005 9:19 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

m.r.: Never have I said that I am God, you are simply mistaken as usual.

As far as the T-shirts, I have a notepad filled with sketches of inflamatory conservative T-shirt designs. In fact I'm currently working on a design for the "m.r. is an idiotic liberal dolt" t-shirt.

 
At July 22, 2005 12:01 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

M.G.C. - Your T-shirt will be in direct competition with my own, "Michael Gregory Steele is a swaggering, narrowminded, bible thumping dullard with delusions of grandeur" T-shirt and my "Michael Gregory Steele secretly voted for Carter" coffee mug.

 
At July 22, 2005 1:37 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Mr. Steele,

This is exactly why I so harshly criticized you on your moderate views. As you can see, your tolerance for liberal descent has bred a hate fest against conservatives and Christians in your comment section. When will you learn that you can not compromise with the Devil?

 
At July 22, 2005 2:38 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

m.r.: It's always a pleasure.

kirk: You are clearly an idiot. If you want to know how I feel about moderate Republicans, read this post.

You say that I'm too moderate because liberals attack me? Everyone involved with Fox News is constantly under attack by liberals. These are people who are real conservative's conservatives too. Your assertion is obviously baseless.

Apologize or simply don't come back. I'm not interested in speaking with people who are any less than fully committed to me and my cause.

 
At July 22, 2005 5:10 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

You have my apology sir.

I apparently misinterpreted some of your statements. I will now leave you to do God's work. You are truly are a blessing to America and a true patriot.

 
At July 22, 2005 5:28 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

kirk: If there's one lesson of the Bible I truly understand (and I understand them all), it's forgiveness. There's no need to leave, your apology is accepted and you are again welcome here.

 
At July 22, 2005 11:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this comment on an ultra-liberal website which I happened upon on accident.

"M.R. said...
Seeing your young, slender form in that uniform definitely roused something within me...Hunger, I haven't eaten anything all friggin' day. That blue tounge of yours has me craving a Slurpy too."

This is the same m.r. that posts on here, Mr. Steele! I just thought you should know what kind of heathens are visiting your site and pretending to be good christians.

 
At July 26, 2005 10:44 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: thanks for alerting me to this, although I'm fully aware of m.r.'s digustingly blatant liberalism.

 
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