Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Understanding Liberal Idiocy: Part II

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Note: If you missed it, be sure to read Part I

At this point, you are probably asking yourself the question: “If liberals are simply dumber than conservatives, how much of a threat can they really pose?” You might assume that you can deal with liberals in much the same way you deal with any other slow individuals, by simply ignoring them. If only it were that simple.

The inferior liberal brain makes them very susceptible to the influence of the Dark Prince. The devil recognizes that through these uncritical simpletons he has a means to spread his own gospel of depravity.

Satan whispers to these willing liberals his unholy dogma of social responsibility, tolerance, and equality. He hisses into their ears: “The strong have a responsibility to care for the weak.” These empty-headed liberal vessels unblinkingly accept the Archfiend’s teachings and surrender their very souls to him. You must understand that Satan is often depicted an imposing red monster for a reason – He’s not only the ultimate evil, but he’s also a communist.

A liberal’s transformation happens very quickly after that; matted dreadlocks spring from the head of the liberal fool. On what used to be a cleanly shaven face a long scraggily beard appears. This corrupted former human now wears a hemp poncho and begins to care even less about hygiene than he does about God. Satan laughs to himself, another recruit for his army of darkness.

Liberals are a threat to everyone

The liberals may be morally and intellectually inferior but they are a very powerful and dark influence. They control the mainstream media. They control Hollywood. They control our schools. They also seek to control our minds.

We are surrounded daily by the corrupting influence of liberal ideas. Ivory tower professionals pass down daily judgment on the ways we live. Hollywood movies try to weaken our values. Liberals all over this country are fighting a war against God; trying to ban our Bibles and make even the utterance of the word “God” a capital crime.

If we succumb to any liberal ideas we damn ourselves. We seal our own fate if we allow any of these insidious thoughts to take root in our brains. Our brains would quickly become feminized and the transformation from upright conservative to traitorous liberal hippie would happen before anything could be done to stop it.

This can happen to you. This can happen to the ones you love. Liberals are one of the greatest threats to America, and we must stand together so we can collectively put a stop to all of this before it is too late.

Join me for Part III of this series where I discuss what we all can do to protect ourselves and our families from the liberal threat.

7 Comments:

At June 22, 2005 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are an edjit.

 
At June 22, 2005 5:00 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

alessandro rosetti,
I believe you misspelled "awe-inspiring genius." Try using a dictionary next time.

 
At June 22, 2005 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed that post. It was hilarious. If only conservatives were genuinely that daft in their beliefs. Alas, the best conservatives are smart cookies, but great satire all the same...

 
At June 22, 2005 9:58 PM, Blogger dabydeen said...

I think there should be a TV show:

Liberal Idiocy vs. Conservative Lunacy

It would be entertainment for the majority that treads carefully between the two. It would also serve as good distraction for the extremes -- keeping them both out of trouble.

 
At June 23, 2005 11:12 AM, Blogger Doug The Una said...

Can liberalism be passed through bodily fluids or do you have to smoke it?

 
At June 23, 2005 12:17 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

andy: cable news is already doing this. They wisely decide to stick two opposing pundits in a room to verbally duke it out. The conservative always wins and it's more entertaining than real reporting.

doug: Yes, people who smoke marijuania will catch the dreaded liberal disease. I will be talking about the dangers of this drug in a subsequent post.

 
At March 11, 2007 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This corrupted former human now wears a hemp poncho and begins to care even less about hygiene than he does about God."

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Now that's some damn funny sh#t!

Out here in Mexifornia this definition describes our government legislators to a T.

This has been an excellent lesson in understanding the liberal mind, although I must admit I'm still a little unclear. It may take two encyclopedia volumns to fully explain.

 

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