Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Understanding Liberal Idiocy: Part I

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Throughout history, generals and commanders alike have understood the tactical importance of knowing their enemy. These leaders understood that knowledge of the underlying weaknesses of their foes served to make them stronger and smarter in battle. This is why I now devote this time to forging an understanding of liberals.

I’m going to find out what exactly it is that makes liberals tick and why the way they tick is so very wrong. Is it a mental deficiency, a satanic influence, or are liberals simply born inferior? I am certain it is all of these things.

I will tackle these tough questions and try to understand why liberals hate this country so very much and despise our God. Join me, in this three part series: Understanding Liberal Idiocy.

What Makes a Person Liberal?

What exactly is liberalism -- Is this a contagious disease of the mind or simply a mental malformation? The answer to this question may surprise you.

The liberal brain works much differently than the brain of a conservative. The only part of the liberal brain that is active is the right side (or as I call it, the homosexual hemisphere). This is the part of the brain responsible for among other things artistic expression and creative thinking. This is also the side of the brain that is incapable of understanding right from wrong or even understanding the concept of freedom and the American way.

The liberal brain is more adept at understanding emotions than logical arguments. The liberal mind is much like the inferior mind of a woman who doesn't have a sensible man to help shape her opinions.

So does this mean that liberals are simply born with an innate and incurable idiocy? No, it means that they have a predisposition for stupidity. These people can be cured, but it takes rigorous mental training.

Liberals need to be taught how to process the world the way a conservative would. They need to understand how to absorb all the information around them and discard the facts that cloud the picture or even undermine the conservative worldview. The lack of an information filtering capability is one of the many things that makes the liberal brain so utterly useless.

You should now have a better understanding of how the liberal mind operates and if you’re a conservative, you now understand that God has blessed you with a working and functioning brain.

You probably think that with this superior conservative brain you’re safe from the liberal mind control of the mainstream media. You also probably think your family is also safe from this kind of dangerous and un-American thinking. Unfortunately, you would be dead wrong on both counts.

Join me for Part II of this series where I discuss the threat liberals pose to conservatives and America.

11 Comments:

At June 21, 2005 2:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might say: Conservatives are from Mars, Liberals are from Uranus.

 
At June 21, 2005 5:10 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

fellow christian,
You could even say that Conservatives are from America and that liberals are from the innermost depths of hell.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, more on that in part 2 of this series tommorow.

 
At June 21, 2005 9:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the FUNNIEST CRAP I've ever read!! OMG! Women without reasonable men to guide them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The homosexual hemisphere!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Goodness sakes alive. So artful the way you pretend to be a blathering idiot, spewing hate and stupidity and then slapping your self on the back for it.

Good show! Do go on... innermost depths of hell! Classic.

 
At June 22, 2005 10:42 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

anonymous,
perhaps I was too busy trying to prevent my readers from drowning in the lake of fire and brimstone to really get the joke.

 
At June 23, 2005 9:50 AM, Blogger Jana said...

I have to say that while I probably agree wtih a great deal of what you wrote, I can't believe you said women's brains are inferior! I am unwaveringly conservative and Christian, and a woman! I was right with you, and then you lost me.

 
At June 23, 2005 2:06 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

jane: You've made the common female mistake of allowing your emotions to cloud your judgement. A man is needed to help give you perspective.

Perhaps you should allow your husband to read this post and he can explain to you that I am completely right.

 
At June 29, 2005 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But don't forget that we conservatives are allowed to use the right hemisphere of the brain if they have a personal connection to the issue. You can be a Reagan and be pro stem cell research. You can "prefer not to talk" about gay rights because your daughter is gay (like Cheney). As long as you have a good enough excuse other conservatives will "forgive you" for differing in opinion.

 
At June 29, 2005 7:31 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

anonymous: Cheney and Reagan are as close to conservative perfectection as exists in politics. They aren't any less conservative, they just have certain demons to exorcise.

 
At June 30, 2005 3:56 PM, Blogger Jana said...

I read your post to him and not only does he not agree, he quickly pointed out to me that God made woman as a helper for man, not vice versa. And the name's not Jane.

 
At June 30, 2005 4:14 PM, Blogger Jana said...

BTW, if you're going to make fun of Christians and conservatives, you should at least know what we really believe. I know, I know, you're not making fun...

 
At July 02, 2005 8:16 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes said...

jane: Thanks for your incorrect take on this. Although saying that I don't understand conservativism or Christianity is like saying President Bush doesn't understand science or foreign policy. Ridiculous.

 

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