John Kerry, Miserable Failure
by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes
Well it seems that the pompous pseudo-intellectual who tried to turn this great country into a communist state didn't quite make the grade in college. John F. Kerry (the F of course standing for failure) has finally released his college transcript.It turns out that John "Pinko Imbecile" Kerry had a cumulative average of 76 at Yale. Yes, that's right, a paltry 76!!. Contrast that with George W. Bush's stellar average of about 77 from his time at Yale, and I think you can see which of these two men the real "deep thinker" is.
Now, a little more background on George W. Bush's academic achievement; He graduated summa cum laude (highest honors) in 1968 and was awarded the prestigious "Yale Award for Dipsomaniacal Excellence." It was clear even back then that this was a man destined for greatness.
So what really is the point of ridiculing John "Droopy Jowls" Kerry like this? The election is over, and President Bush secured himself a mandate (capturing an astonishing 51% of the popular vote). George W. Bush won the presidency as God intended, so why do I continue to waste my time with petty name calling? Well, it's quite simple; John "Purple Heart Winning War Vet" Kerry is un-American and quite possibly a terrorist.
John "Parisian Pansy" Kerry had the gall to run against our Commander in Chief during a time of war. This was an act tantamount to treason. I can never forgive this traitorous act, and I will never forget.
Therefore, whenever the opportunity presents itself, I will mock this "man." I personally can't think of any greater show of patriotism than making fun of John "the Flip-Flopping Homo" Kerry, and if you have any love for this country you'll do the same.
Posted @ 5:34 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
If John Kerry won the election, I was going to become a terrorist.
This is great stuff. May I add you to my blogroll?
anonymous,
John Kerry thinks things aren't so "black and white". This fool wouldn't have had the moral fortitude to actually designate you a terrorist and provide you with a one way ticket to Gitmo. Thank God, he lost.
jollyroger,
Unfortunately I can't have everyone who visits this blog sign a loyalty oath; That I wish I could.
Even though your site is a liberal one, I encourage you to add me to your blogroll. My hope is that the godless sinners who filter in will see the light and keep their mouths shut in the meantime.
I'm even thinking about creating my own blogroll comprised of liberal sites. This would give my regular readers a good opportunity to recognize their own superiority by seeing what true moral bankruptcy looks like.
"This would give my regular readers a good opportunity to recognize their own superiority by seeing what true moral bankruptcy looks like."
A fundamentalist theist.
Been reading your site for a while. Trying to figure out if you are for 'real' or a sublime satire. I hope it's the latter. Makes me glad to be Australian.
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