Howard Dean, Frothing Maniac

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

Ever since being elected as chairman to the DNC, Howard Dean has really been on a roll. He has bashed Republicans with one ridiculous remark after another. I think it's high time that Michael Gregory Steele cut through his rhetoric and take Mr. Dean to task for some of his recent remarks.

1. "Republicans... a lot of them have never made an honest living in their lives"

I am a much respected businessman, so I personally take great offense to this one. I may not have ever done "manual labor" or whatever the poor calls it these days, but I do work honestly. Just because I make a great deal more money for doing less physically demanding work doesn't mean my work is dishonest. Howard Dean is obviously just jealous of my great wealth, which I honestly deserve.

2. "I Hate What The Republicans Are Doing To This Country. I Really Do."

What exactly does Howard Dean hate so much about what we're doing to this country?

• Does he hate that we're cleaning up America by trying to get rid of the gays?
• Does he hate that we're responsibly curtailing the civil liberties of our citizens to keep this country terrorist free?
• Does he hate that we're spreading democracy through force just because we can?
  
• Does he hate that we're rewarding those who deserve it the most: the wealthy?
  
• Does he hate that we're weakening environment laws to remove unnecessary restraints on business?

What is it that this guy hates about the new utopian world we are all building together? We're just helping to transform this country into what God truly wants it to be. Dean doesn't hate Republicans; he hates America and he hates God.

3. "They All Look The Same. It’s Pretty Much A White Christian Party."

That it were so, Howard, that it were so. While the party is overwhelmingly white Christian, it simply is not overwhelmingly white Christian enough for this white Christian. The purpose of this statement was not to point out the lack of diversity in the GOP. No, the key phrase here is "pretty much."

We've come so far since we were the regrettable "party of Lincoln" but Howard Dean cruelly reminds us we still have a little further to go.

As you can see from the above statements, Howard Dean is a frothing maniac and an absolute disgrace. He's godless, anti-American, and completely morally deficient. I believe Howard Dean to be a perfect representative for the Democratic Party.