Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Thank You, Karl Rove

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

I've always liked Karl Rove. Ever since he helped the venerable George W. Bush claim his hallowed throne in 2000, he's been a-ok in my book. And when he helped our saintly President win the 2004 election by riding a holy wave of homosexual hatred, well my admiration for the man only grew.

You see, I've always respected the fact that Karl will do whatever it takes to get a man of God into office. He's a shrewd political genius and now I have a new reason to revere the man Bush calls "Boy Genius" -- He's a straight shooter.

Last week, he had the guts to finally call liberals out for their disgusting cowardice:
"Conservatives saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." -- Karl Rove
After September the 11th, while no Democratic official really said anything too "liberal-ly," you can be certain that their only thoughts were ones of weakness and capitulation. I have included some quotes from what I assume were the inner dialogues of these liberals right after the terrorist attacks.
"If only we'd provided Taliban with that all those hugs I knew they needed, then we wouldn't be in this mess. I blame myself, but mostly I blame America." -- Terry McAuliffe, Former DNC chairman.
"These attacks seem like a textbook case of desperate middle child crying out for attention. Poor Osama." -- Hillary Clinton
"If we artfully negotiate our surrender to the terrorists, maybe they'll allow us to keep at least a couple of our freedoms." -- John Kerry

Thank you, Karl Rove, for saying that liberals are a threat to the war on terror. You've confirmed what I knew all along; it's impossible to love this country and be a Democrat. Most of all, thank you Karl, for having the courage to tell it like it is.


At June 28, 2005 11:02 PM, Blogger Marie said...

hahahahahahaha! Thank you for that gem!

I think I'll be here often. ;)

At June 29, 2005 11:04 AM, Blogger John said...

Great site!

At June 29, 2005 3:49 PM, Blogger Brian Duffy said...

Spot on!

At June 29, 2005 6:07 PM, Blogger Greg said...

You guys are awesome. I laughed my ass off the last 15 mins plus. Keep up the great writing and damn those unpatriotic democrats.

At June 29, 2005 6:22 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

marie: I like to them of all the posts on this blog as gems. Gems polished with the holy cloth of righteousness.

jay777: I completely agree.

At June 29, 2005 6:27 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

brian: Spot on? While I appreciate the sentiment, your choice of words seem a bit European to say the least.

greg: Laughter is a sometimes normal reaction to the fear of liberalism. Don't worry, it will subside and be replaced with a burning hatred.

At June 29, 2005 6:57 PM, Blogger Ken Grandlund said...

tsk, tsk, tsk.
Do you really believe this drivel that you spout?

Hatred of America by liberals?
Perhaps it's just hatred of the small minded mentality that posts like this show. Your elation at the " holy wave of homosexual hatred" makes me wonder who the real cowards are.

I wonder how many of the fighting men and women fall under the banner of "liberal." Are they cowards too? Have you ever volunteered to serve your country in any meaningful way?

Most of the people I know (on ALL sides of the political spectrum) saw the savagery of 9-11 and thought the same thing: Let's go get those bastards! Hardly weakness and capitulation.

You allude that liberals are as big a threat as the terrorists, but it isn't liberals who go around threatening everyone with iminent demise if they don't line up behind the Bush Administration. It isn't liberals who want to turn this country into a Christian theocracy.

Now...go ahead and mock my comments and call me names.

At June 29, 2005 9:46 PM, Blogger OTTMANN said...

Please don't listen to Ken Grundland. He supports gays and anti-Americanism. I've told him off and will no longer spend anytime reading his democrap.

He is the one who calls names and "feels" he's Mr. Brainiac, but is really just another self-absorbed psuedo intellectual who gets off on his words.

Rove is indeed fine man, as is president Bush and those in the administration, which is the finest ever put together. Those against this war have no business living in freedom because they do not understand what it means to keep it.

Keep up the great work!

At June 29, 2005 10:08 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Yeah, a real gem. When are you automotons going to realize that liberals aren't your enemy? The true enemy is your beloved George II, sending America's sons and daughters to die in order to make himself, his daddy and his buddies richer.

You're all so busy reveling in your intolerance, berating and pointing fingers at liberals, gays and anyone with even the slightest difference in opinion to your own while wrapping yourselves in a bloodstained flag.

Wake up gentlemen, you're missing the big picture. The Vietnam "conflict" destroyed an entire generation of young men, Iraq is well on its way to doing the same. This is not a war on terror, it's a war of profit, except the ones shedding the blood aren't making the money.

Feel free to insult me and what I stand for to your heart's desire, I only ask that you at least make it original. I don't want to see some stale ten year old Rush Limbaugh quote. I thank you in advance for your consideration.

At June 30, 2005 8:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha ha!

this site is SO funny! Imagine if people really had these kinds of views!

At June 30, 2005 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, this is great satire! (i hope...)

At June 30, 2005 1:59 PM, Blogger Redphi5h said...

I am a Washington lawyer, and you will find that in the course of the next week, Sir, you will be served.

At June 30, 2005 2:30 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

ken grandlund: uggh, another liberal commenter. While your invitation to mock and ridicule you is inviting, since ottman has already dealt with you, I won't waste my energy.

ottman: You're a true friend to the blog and a righteous defender of conservatism. Your country thanks you.

At June 30, 2005 2:32 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous #1: No, it's true liberals actually believe in the kind of stuff I report about on this blog.

anonymous #2: You wouldn't be the first one to accuse this blog of being satirical.

At June 30, 2005 2:34 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

Redphi5h: Ah, so you are one of those out-of-control liberal trial lawyers like John Edwards was.

I'm not scared of you though, Mr. Washington Lawyer. I have an out-of-control lawyer of my own on retainer.

At June 30, 2005 2:43 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

M.R.: I have chosen not to directly respond to any of your points because I find them all annoying.

Allow me to save us both a lot of time, and you some tears. I'm right and you are wrong, accept this and your life will be much easier.

At June 30, 2005 6:45 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Mr. Steele - You've chosen not to respond to any of my points because you lack the backbone and common sense to disagree with any point not sanctioned by the current illegally appointed regime you blindly support.

I understand you must experience such a warm and fuzzy feeling basking in the inner peace and emotional stability derived from not having to think on your own but how much fun can it be to be manipulated?

At July 01, 2005 1:21 PM, Blogger Sally said...


I love the conservatives running here to pat you on the back!

At July 01, 2005 3:24 PM, Anonymous Kenny said...

Mr. Steele, you are an amazing ambassador to the "truths" of the 21st Century. Thank you for shining a spotlight on the realities of today's world so we can all enjoy with new-found clarity! A bit of the honorable Karl Rove's family history; I have traced the roots of the Rove family tree all the way back to his early descendants in southern France. It appears that while his ancestors were of no direct relation to the famed Merovingians, a Rove ancestor in the mid-400's AD, by the name of Carthius Rouf (or Rolf, depending on the source - it was later changed to Rove) was instrumental in helping Merovech and his son, Childeric I, gather and consolidate the power that eventually lead to the establishment of the Merovingian Dynasty. This dynasty was the first major political authority to rise in Europe after the fall of the Roman Empire. Several generations of Rouf's worked behind-the-scenes to maintain the standing of this powerful dynasty until Carlthor Rouf fell out of favor with the French royal family in 751. It was widely rumored at the time that the point of contention was over Dagobert's and Childeric III's excessive cheese-eating and their long hair. Keep up the great work.

At July 02, 2005 3:10 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

To the Blog Owners:

You should really post the sources and dates for those quotes, it greatly helps your credibility. That way Liberals and Democrats can't say you made them out of thin air. Once they see the quote for themself, it helps them move away from their party and towards conservatives. You can't beat liberals into conservatives, they have to make that journey by themselves... But you can help them along the way with facts and logic.

To Ken Grandlund:
School bullies don't attack the strong, they attack the ones percieved as weak.

Or as Ronald Reagan said: "Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the US was too strong."

The September 11 attacks were not a sucker punch, they were the last blow in a string of punches because we failed to punch back hard enough when we were hit before.

Interesting blog.

At July 02, 2005 3:11 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

Bah! It's "perceived" ... I before E except after C.

At July 02, 2005 8:08 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

insanehippie: It's dificult to source something like this, as they are quotes from their inner monologue. Rest assured if something isn't cited, I'm implicitly citing God as my source.

At July 02, 2005 9:38 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

Kenny: I agree, I would consider myself an ambassador of truths.

Your geneology of Karl Rove was fascinating and I assume completely correct. He just has a look of nobility about him.

At July 05, 2005 1:40 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

No offense, but not citing the source of a quote and citing God as the source, makes you look like a simple partisan hack.

It's very hard to convince a person on the right or left to think differently about politics, but it's much easier if you can show them why the other side is wrong with cold hard facts that are verifiable through third party sources. Do your best to persuade them with facts and things you can back up.

If you don't have facts to back up your reasoning, don't say it. It only makes you look as bad as the other guy.

At July 05, 2005 5:06 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

insanehippie: Then I suppose the writers of the Bible were merely "hacks" because they couldn't verify what they were writing.

My words are divinely inspired and beyond quesioning.

At July 06, 2005 3:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that your words are inspired by the one true god. But now I'm having trouble determining who is more infallible... Michael Gregory Steele or the pope? Until I get some further direction I'm just going to consider you both equal.

At July 06, 2005 11:46 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

anonymous: The pope's words are only truly infallible if he make a proclaimation from the chair of Peter.

I have a chair of infallibility myself and sit in it whenever I write to this blog.

At July 06, 2005 5:04 PM, Anonymous Kenny said...

I have a blog chair too! It smells like cabbage.

At July 08, 2005 2:18 AM, Blogger InsaneHippie said...

MGS said: insanehippie: Then I suppose the writers of the Bible were merely "hacks" because they couldn't verify what they were writing.

My words are divinely inspired and beyond quesioning.

What you just did was called a Red Herring. First of all I was ONLY talking about the supposed quotes on the Karl Rove post, which you can't/won't cite where they came from.

When I asked you for your sources you then jumped the subject saying that I was talking about the bible. Good try on dodging the subject, but I don't fall for stuff like that. This has to be a parody site by someone on the left exagerating what they think the religious right is.

I can't think of any other reasoning for what has gone on in this thread. Have fun in your own personal Candyland blog.

At July 08, 2005 2:44 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

insanehippie: Thanks for wasting your time in Candyland with us.

At August 27, 2007 6:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is 2007---
Most of you won't visit back here as your hero has left in disgrace. The only thing he accomplished was to get an idiot in the White House and now a mess in IRAQ that no one knows how to get out of.
I hope you love your PARTY less and our country MORE now than you did before. I hope you search for news and the truth and are not told HOW you should think by opinionated commentators.

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At November 13, 2009 11:39 AM, Blogger FIFI said...



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