Get A Clue, Liberals!

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

When I think about the liberals of this country I'm reminded of a former acquaintance of mine, Charles Bradford. Now, Charles is by no means a liberal himself; he's actually a life long Republican. No, the reason that Charles is like any American liberal is because he cannot take a hint.

Let me explain.

I ran into this man several weeks ago and he proceeded to engage me in small talk. I find such idle chit-chat completely insufferable, so you can understand my annoyance with this. I have no interest in talking to some dullard about his improved golf game or anything else in his uninteresting and mediocre life. Despite my subtle hints that I wanted to end our conversation, Charles just kept yammering on, "My kid is doing great in soccer this year. Scored two goals last game. Blah Blah Blah."

After I couldn't stand this torturous conversation any longer I simply said, "I don't care!" and walked away. And do you know what Charlie "oblivious moron" Bradford did? That idiot laughed and started following me. He thought I was joking! It was only after I grabbed him by the shoulders, looked him right in the eyes and said, "You are the most boring man I have ever met in my life, and if you ever talk to me again you'll need a new cell phone and the name of a good proctologist!" He finally got the hint after I explained to him that the implication was that I would forcibly insert his cell phone into his rectum.

And you know what? You liberals are just as clueless as Charles.

To see why, you need to look no further than what Alabama state senator Hank Erwin (R) said about the recent hurricanes (hat halo tip: Blue Gal)

"New Orleans and the Mississippi Gulf Coast have always been known for gambling, sin and wickedness. It is the kind of behavior that ultimately brings the judgment of God."

God has sent two -- count them TWO -- hurricanes to let you know he is angered with your godless ways, liberals. I really don't think he could be any clearer about his displeasure with you. You've been given an undeniable sign that the Lord wants you to cease your immoral behavior and what do you do? You simply continue enabling homosexuality, gambling, and general wickedness by supporting the Democrats. For the last time, STOP IT!

I thought His message was pretty clear. But apparently two devastating hurricanes is much too subtle for most liberals. Well, my advice to all of you liberal dolts is to ask around for the name of a good proctologist. Why? Because the Lord is going to get through to you idiots one way or another.