Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Rick Santorum, Man's Man

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes


I would be remiss if I didn't talk about one of the greatest contributions Rick Santorum has made to this country -- providing a true role model of masculinity. In a society that has been utterly queerified, Santorum's macho existence is truly a rebellious act against the liberal gay culture. Rick Santorum is a real man's man.

Rick Santorum affirms the traditional notion of what a man should be by railing against homosexuals and their attempt to metrosexualize red blooded Americans completely out of existence. He is truly at the forefront of the anti-gay thought in this country. In fact one of his greatest contributions to political discourse is the brilliant homosexual marriage to bestiality connection.

We've all heard Senator Cornyn's words on this matter:
It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife
And then there's the recent quote by Bill O'Reilly:
The secular progressive movement would like to have marriage abolished, in my opinion. They don't want it, because it is not diverse enough. You know, that's what this gay marriage thing is all about. But now, you know, the poly-amorphous marriage, whatever they call it, you can marry 18 people, you can marry a duck..
But these two quotes are merely pale imitations of words spoken by perhaps the straightest man this world has ever seen, Rick Santorum:
In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.
Just think without Rick's original statement we would be deprived of "homosexual sex is like man on [insert animal] sex" statements. It's hard to imagine what the marriage debate would look like without the contributions of Rick Santorum.

You've given us all so much, Senator Santorum. We all admire your upstanding character, your moral genius, but most of all we simply appreciate having a Senator that isn't afraid to proudly display his supreme virility. I salute you, Senator Santorum -- one man's man to another.

19 Comments:

At September 22, 2005 1:03 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

Leave it to the Demoncrats to legalize marrying a box-turtle, duck, dog or homosexual embryo baby. It just makes me want to retch.

Oh and before you filthy liberals start in. People are not born homosexual, but embryo babies can turn gay from lesbian mothers piping Elton John music into the womb. I believe that might have been what happened with M.R.

Thank Christ for Rick Santorum. We'll put a stop to all of this.

 
At September 22, 2005 1:16 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

M.G.S. - Man's man indeed. You keep your homosexuality repressed, the way the bible told you to. None of that undignigfied, flamboyant prancing for a proper, God-fearing, right-wing christian homo like yourself. You'll continue to love Rick Santorum from afar even if it kills you. You're the epitome of conservatism Mikey, Don't ever change.

 
At September 22, 2005 1:25 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

Kirk - I'll take in utero Elton John music over repeatedly being dropped on my head after birth as in your case you yammering half-wit.

 
At September 22, 2005 1:59 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

I would like all of my followers to notice what m.r. is doing here. While it's very clear that he is a homosexual himself, his words speak volumes about the homosexual agenda.

He says things like "You're gay, but you're just repressed." He's trying to recruit me to join him in his deviant lifestyle. This is what these people do; they try to convince incredibly straight people, like myself that we're "living a lie." You're barking up the wrong tree, m.r., because this tree is very not gay.

 
At September 22, 2005 2:02 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

kirk: Indeed, we allow gay people to marry then we open Pandora's box. What are the contents of Pandora's box, you ask? Well, lets just say that "man on dog sex" is one of the more tame sexual acts contained within this box.

 
At September 22, 2005 2:53 PM, Blogger The Phantom of The Opera said...

Mgs: very, very true. you hit the watermelon with the sledgehammer on that one. Im glad your aware of this and have explained it for if you didnt, Mr would succeed.

 
At September 22, 2005 3:25 PM, Blogger scribe said...

so mikey, when are you and ricky gonna sonsummate your union?

 
At September 22, 2005 5:02 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

M.G.S. - My deviant lifestyle? I'm not the one dedicating an entire week's worth of blogging to some dude clad in gladiator garb. Don't think I've forgotten about your gerbil experience either fella'.

 
At September 22, 2005 8:22 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

scribe: I'm not exactly sure how a union is "sonsummated" but I suspect your are making the ridiculous insinuation that I am a homosexual.

I have news for you, sissy boy, I am not the one who needs to justify his manhood. My hatred of homosexuality is more than enough to prove my manliness. I have yet to see any indication that you have any testosterone coursing through your pathetically weak frame.

 
At September 22, 2005 8:26 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

phantom: m.r. succeed in recruiting me to the homosexual cause? Not a chance! This is not only because m.r. is an idiot, but because I am absolutely incorruptible (and 153% straight).

m.r.: I think you are mistaking me for for one of your leather clad dance partners at that "hip" east coast disco club you frequent. Or perhaps you are thinking of Richard Gere.

 
At September 23, 2005 9:24 AM, Blogger alyosha mcbain said...

I'm glad to see that you are so offended by suggestions that you are a homosexual; it backs up M.R.'s point about you even further. Only someone swimming in the mire of sexual repression could possibly be as obsessed with the subject of homosexuality as you are. I hope that you realize the happiest day of your life will not be the day that you welcome fellow gay-basher Rick Santorum into higher office; rather, the happiest day of your life will be the first day that you get a cock up your ass or wipe a big load of sperm from your face...

Your blog is utterly despicable. Your intolerance is your most outstanding characteristic, other than your ability to angrily propagandize about subjects contrary to your own secret desires.

Look at your language--"Santorum's macho existence"; "a man's man"; "we...appreciate having a Senator who isn't afraid to proudly display his supreme virility"--do you write fully dressed in leather chaps, whipping yourself with a bullwhip as you construct your fanciful screeds? You are a completely repressed homosexual, and your writing does not disguise this fact in the least.

Get government out of the bedroom, dickhead--isn't it always you conservative types that plead and beg for less governmental involvement in everyday life? Develop some philosophical consistency on this issue, huh?

I've got to run now--I'm marrying a box turtle today, and divorcing it tomorrow, so I can get married to someone else who believes in "man on dog sex"....but then I'll divorce him for a chick who likes to get fucked while riding giraffes illegally at public zoos.

I've got news for you, douche--nothing hurts society more than seeing its leaders repeatedly lie in the face of contradictory reality...it's the first step towards totalitarianism.

Keep up the good comedy writing. Also, anyone who quotes Bill O'Reilly clearly marks themselves as a dolt, a fool, an imbecile, and a thoughtless twat of the highest order.

 
At September 23, 2005 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aloysha mcbain, that has to be the most hate-filled comment I've ever seen.

Seven paragraphs and all you've managed to say is that you're a rude, satan-loving homo.

The authors of this site spend a lot of time trying to make the world a better place and you dump all this venom on them? Why do scum like you bring so much hatred into the world?

 
At September 23, 2005 12:09 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

M.G.S. - Interesting imagery. You just keep proving my point over and over don't you Mary?

 
At September 23, 2005 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh I see, the answer is on your blog.

"I get injured a lot; decreasing physical function has increased my hostility towards the rest of humanity to impossible levels."

Decreasing physical function, eh? They have new drugs for that. You should try them. Mahybe then you won't be such a dick. No pun intended.

 
At September 23, 2005 12:39 PM, Blogger Schwarzmann said...

So which one is Mary again?

 
At September 23, 2005 3:29 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

alyosha mcbain: Let me try and get this straight (hilarious pun intended)... so you say that I'm a homosexual, a douche, "a dolt, a fool, an imbecile, and a thoughtless twat of the highest order."

We simply don't talk to one another other like that here, so forgive me if I'm a bit taken aback. We at Conservatives for American Values try to create an environment that fosters mutually respectfully political dialogue; not this hateful venom that you spew. You should be absolutely ashamed. Not only are you unmannered and completely uncouth, but you're also blindingly retarded and no doubt a smelly godless hippie who has no friends.

 
At September 23, 2005 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

alyosha mcbain, mgs schooled you, you peyote smoking freak!

And it only took him 2 paragraphs. You could learn something from his concise, yet brilliant, response, but we know you won't. You'd rather continue your pathetic life wallowing in filth and ignorance, long-windedly lashing out at your moral superiors.

 
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