Friday, July 21, 2006

Scott from Scott-O-Rama is Gay

by Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes

There are certain people who think that outing bloggers is a completely despicable act. I disagree. I really can see no downside in forcibly removing anyone from the closet, regardless of their political ideology.

If they are a liberal, doing this can cause great harm to them personally which is of course very pleasing to the Lord. If, on the other hand, they’re a conservative then we’re merely doing God’s work of sanctifying His party. So really it’s a win-win situation whenever we can expose a blogger as a depraved homosexual.

Well it looks like I’ve managed to discover another gay man hiding beneath the rock that is the liberal blogosphere – Scott from Scott-O-Rama.

You see, I’ve been studying Scott ever since he made a derisive comment about President Bush that earned him a place of shame on our blogroll of iniquity. You might call the act of me reading his blog “opposition research.” I prefer to think of it as watching a moral train wreck in progress.

In my daily reading of his blog, I started to notice some very disturbing things. First of all, it’s completely plastered with pictures of naked men. I at first assumed they were placed there to lure gay men away from the conversations that took place there – an ingenious idea. If given the choice between participating in a discussion and ogling naked men, a gay man will always pick the most sinful path. But I wasn’t quite satisfied with this answer, as Scott seemed to talk an awful lot about gay issues for a straight man. I began to grow suspicious.

Then I started seeing references to his “boyfriend” Buckaroo. A big red flag went up. Although I at first thought that Buckaroo was perhaps a plutonic heterosexual male companion like my dearest and straightest friend Herman B. Hayes. As I continued to read on though, that red flag began to turn to more of a pale lavender color highlighted with a breezy blue pastel border.

Finally the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. “This Scott guy is clearly gay!” It was at this point I discovered that I had just been made an unwitting participant in an act of pure perversion. I then decided it was my moral obligation to make the rest of world aware of just who Scott really is.

Scott is a threat! If you doubt that fact, consider the following: his site gets an average of between 4,000 and 5,000 visitors a day. That’s right, the entire gay population of the United State checks Scott’s blog everyday (You should ignore the inflated figures given by the gay community as they are inaccurate and absolutely terrifying). Scott could choose to mobilize his sodomite soldiers to march on to destroy marriage. We simply can’t allow this to happen. Expose his evil plan and tell everyone you know: Scott is gay and he’s arming his readers for battle!

Update:
Scott Responds!

20 Comments:

At July 21, 2006 1:51 AM, Blogger Scott-O-Rama said...

Oh no! Don't tell my boyfriend. He thinks I'm straight.

 
At July 21, 2006 8:37 AM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

scott-o-rama: Well if you don't tell him I will. He needs to know that by associating with you that there's a good chance he'll become gay too.

He'll no doubt be surprised and a bit angered to find this out. I'm sure he never imagined that he could be dating a gay man. This is the price you pay for the lifestyle you choose though.

 
At July 21, 2006 9:53 AM, Blogger Scott-O-Rama said...

MGS-

I think I may have met my match in intellect. You are a most clever one.

But why did you keep asking me to post pictures of Danny DeVito's feet while you were doing your undercover "research?"

 
At July 21, 2006 10:20 AM, Blogger Howard said...

Scott, I appreciate the samuari armor and sword you sent for our upcoming battle (it must have been a bundle in shipping), but don't you think it's a little, well, antiquated for our upcoming battle?

Besides, I've nothing in my wardrobe to go with it. *Sigh* Well, it's off to Express For Men again.

 
At July 21, 2006 12:04 PM, Blogger FleshPresser said...

I will pray for you, Scott - I will pray for your very soul. I will also pray that at no time will I be outed by Michael and Herman in such a conspicuous and cruel way. I'm on their list of Enemies of God, as well, and while I'm not gay - the Lord only knows what they'll find to drag me out into the public square over.

heh heh... get it? "drag?" "out?"

 
At July 21, 2006 1:38 PM, Blogger Jimmi said...

Hey! I am gay too, and proud! Proud to know that I am not like you, like your kind. You don't think god made me? I didn't think god hates anyone, he created us in his image? Isn't that how it goes? Before you start targeting people with your HATE, take a trip to the psychiatric ward, you need some serious help before you go out to murder in "Gods Name"! People like you make Hitler seem Friendly!

P.S. I think G.W. Bush is a complete Moron too! You should be so proud! Happy Day to you!

 
At July 21, 2006 2:51 PM, Blogger jlmtik said...

mgs is most definately the gayist looking person i have ever seen. and i'm from los angeles!!

 
At July 21, 2006 4:18 PM, Blogger Breezer said...

MGS, I am a straight Canadian guy who considers himself conservative, not so much socially, more politically conservative. I wold hate to have to associate myself with a social conservative extremist such as yourself! Are you for real!?? Homosexuality is not my thing whatsoever but it does not threaten you or your lifestyle in any way. I think your biggest concern is that while you were doing your undecover work, you were possibly turned on and felt ashamed for that!!
I'm still trying to figure out if you are really as un-intelligent as you sound. The naivity of thinking there are only 5-6000 gays in the states is outrageous!!

Good luck with your mission, you will need it!

 
At July 21, 2006 5:31 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

jimmi: Glad to know you are gay, I hope you enjoy your free stay at the Hedonism Resort, now open in Hell. As for God making you, well, I somehow am convinced that you were created by an illegal Mexican subcontractor.

 
At July 21, 2006 7:00 PM, Blogger Jimmy said...

I don't even know where to begin with you bigots. I'll just let you know that I live in West Hollywood, CA. and that the Census Bureau in my city says that 60% of the residents SELF-IDENTIFY as gay, lesbian or transgendered. I'm fairly certain that that number is higher than 4000-5000. While I would like to think that every homosexual in the world lives in my town, I am not nearly so ignorant as you both seem to be.

 
At July 21, 2006 7:13 PM, Blogger Jimmy said...

Now that I've perused your blog, I'm convinced that you are not actually for real. No one in America is so stupid. NO ONE in the republican party is calling for the renunciation of women's suffrage. You really had me going there for a minute. Bravo on the frightening satire. And the frightening photos. :-)

 
At July 22, 2006 6:12 PM, Blogger Kristyan Soldyer said...

Dearest Michael and Herman,
I cannot believe my eyes! I feel as though I have found my true family after so many years of searching! I have been in the valley of darkness and, unlike the lucky sod in the Psalm, I have felt deep, deep fear. I have trawled through the mire of this Interweb and I have seen such acts of depravity (I have been researching homosexualist websites for many years) that I began to believe that Lord Satan had conquered all humanity. The true Lord of Love and Grace has brought me finally through The Wilderness to you and your website of wisdom. You are like Alexander The Great and Hephaestion fighting the Persian barbarians or Achilles and Patroclus killing the hedonistic Trojans!
You bring me joy! I will pray to Our Lord that you will keep shining your light upon the dark ones of the Interweb like this Scott-O-Bumboy - only through this exposure will God's Warriors break out there bayonets and shove it up 'em!
Your servant,
Kristyan
P.S. Are you cut or u/c?

 
At July 22, 2006 8:04 PM, Blogger KJ said...

Of course, I read Scott's website just for the articles!

 
At July 23, 2006 5:59 AM, Blogger dusty said...

Oh sweet jesus in a thong..when are people going to read the small print at the bottom of the sidebar before they open their pieholes and comment?

Its a rhetorical question folks..

 
At July 23, 2006 9:12 PM, Blogger rolldog said...

Speaking as a heterosexual God-fearing man who would nevertheless love to see sweet Jesus in a thong, I'd like to say that I wholeheartedly agree with everything you fine fellows have ever saidandwilleversay!

(catches breath)

Holy shit, that's hard. You guys are geniuses, the way you just embody it.

(turns to leave, breaks nose walking into invisible fourth wall)

 
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