tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-117911632024-03-14T04:14:44.355-04:00Conservatives for American ValuesMichael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1165198817607682032006-12-03T21:20:00.000-05:002006-12-03T21:20:18.216-05:00Moral Mailbox: Onan's Fleshy Pistol<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/3514/1094/1600/272263/onan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/3514/1094/200/659009/onan.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Today I woke up feeling especially brave, so I’ve decided to sift through some of your inane email messages and respond to a moral query posed to the moral mailbox. I settled on this one:<br /><blockquote>I have a horrible confession to make and I therefore seek your infinite wisdom and moral genius. I have never touched myself in my entire life but the other day I woke up to find that I had somehow managed to spill my seed in my sleep. - “Mike”</blockquote>First of all, Mike, let me say that while I’m not a doctor I do know that the event you recount in your email is physiologically impossible. Forgive me if I have trouble believing your far-fetched little story about ejaculating in your sleep. As you know, God is completely aware that such an occurrence is nothing less than the wasting of millions of potential lives. Why would He in His infinite wisdom make this a natural function of your body? I for one know that my body doesn’t work that way. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Granted, your story is both disgusting and compelling, but frankly it just does not add up. </span><br /><br />Now I think it’s important that we move past the obvious fabrications found in your email and get to the real heart of the matter. In order to do this, I’m going to replace the phrase “in my sleep” above with “while on my couch in the middle of the afternoon covered in sweat, Doritos crumbs, and shame.” I think this correction will serve to make it clear to everyone that you’ve willingly and repeatedly committed the sin of Onan and that’s what we’re really talking about isn’t it, Mike?<br /><br />But then the question becomes is this really a sin? And my answer in turn becomes, why would you ask me something so incredibly stupid? Of course it is and you need to look no further than the Good Book to confirm that I am right:<br /><blockquote>And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. (Gen 38:8-10)</blockquote>Instead of just marrying his dead brother’s wife and engaging in procreative sex, Onan used the pull-out method and thereby let millions of potential lives fall upon the floor. This left God no choice but to dole out a severe smiting to Onan as He had to his brother before. So remember, Mike, that every time you take yourself into your own hands, you’re playing a dangerous game of Russian roulette with your fleshy pistol. Your next time could well be your last.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Allow me to break this down even further for you: Onan’s couitus interruptus = masturbation = angry God = dead Mike. Got it?</span><br /><br />What it boils down to, is that every time you engage in self-love, you’re disrespecting and assaulting your body. Like any good parent, God gets pretty angry with anyone who assaults one of his children. On the other hand, you should know that every time you commit this heinous act, that God is much more reluctant to claim paternity. Once you’ve sinned to the point that you become nobody in the eyes of the Lord then this will make your self-gratification a completely victimless crime. So if getting off is more important to you than getting into Heaven just keep it up, Mike. <span style="font-weight: bold;">God will eventually lose interest in you and your disgusting little acts; that is if He doesn’t destroy you first. </span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1164309059316815642006-11-23T14:10:00.000-05:002006-12-01T22:51:14.276-05:00Why Am I Thankful This Year?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/turkey.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/turkey.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>What exactly, dear readers, do I have to be thankful for this year? This isn’t a rhetorical question; I’m honestly asking you if you can come up with anything I should express thanks for at my dinner table this evening. We now have a Congress controlled by liberals and the train that is this nation has had an abrupt and last minute schedule change. All aboard! Next stop: imminent death at the hand of Islamofacists. Don’t forget to pick up the remains of your loved ones before you exit the train.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This Thanksgiving, grateful doesn’t exactly describe how I feel.</span><br /><br />I guess I could sit in front of my family and tell them that we should all look at this as a chance to bridge the great ideological chasm in this country. We should be thankful, kids, that we have all been given this golden opportunity to stop the partisan bickering and begin to mend the deep wounds we all carry. This election loss is actually a good thing. But for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to lie to my children like that.<br /><br />I know that a slew of new politically moderate candidates have been elected to represent us. Some would take this as a clear sign that the American public is sick of this kind of partisanship. They want Republicans and Democrats to reach across the aisle and start working together. This incorrectly assumes though that there’s any common ground between the members of God’s Party and the liberals who actively work to destroy America. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I assure you that there absolutely isn’t.</span><br /><br />If you don’t believe that we conservatives are fundamentally different from liberals then just consider how a typical liberal “family” will celebrate Thanksgiving today. Things will start out normal for them, with a table filled with food and smiling people eagerly eyeing this feast. Obviously nobody will say grace because liberals would sooner die than thank God for anything. They might express thanks for being able to pick up their free range hormone-free turkey along with the organic fair trade yams at their local Hippie-Mart but the Lord’s name certainly wouldn’t be uttered by anyone at this table.<br /><br />The evening would begin with some light-hearted banter and innocent table conversation. There would obviously be a bit of confusion over which of Timmy’s five gay dads would carve up the turkey. A symbolic place of honor would be set at the front of the table for whatever terrorist leader is popular among liberals at the time.<br /><br />It wouldn’t take too long for this lovely dinner to devolve into a turkey filled hedonistic orgy. Since this is a family blog I will spare you the despicable details of a writhing pile of naked liberals covered in turkey juices and smeared with mashed potatoes. I certainly won’t tell you what happens as soon as they break out the cranberry sauce flavored lube. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The whole thing makes me sick.</span><br /><br />So the lesson we should take from this year’s election is not that we need to unite our two incredibly disparate political ideologies, but that we that we need to work harder at destroying the ideology that’s fatally flawed (hint: Liberalism). We need to recruit real conservatives, Michael Gregory Steele conservatives to win back our country from the Democrat’s evil grasp.<br /><br />This Thanksgiving I think my family can give thanks for that. We are actually presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity here. We can select conservatives so strong and so ideologically pure that they will destroy liberalism for good. <span style="font-weight: bold;">It is with this thought in mind that I will sit down, break bread, and be genuinely thankful to be an American.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1162776054141780722006-11-05T20:20:00.000-05:002006-11-05T22:54:46.493-05:00The Election and the Gay Problem<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/haggart.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/haggart.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>We’ve got a problem, my conservative compatriots - a big gay problem. Given all the homosexual Republican stories in the news lately I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. Now this particular problem won’t be solved by you sitting home on Tuesday and sulking. We all need to get out and do our civic duty by voting Republican and suppressing Democratic votes when the opportunity presents itself. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Don’t let a couple news stories about guerrilla sodomites within the conservative ranks influence the outcome of this election</span>. You wouldn’t let a homosexual cut your hair so why would you let one of them influence who is chosen to be your representatives for Congress?<br /><br />I admit that it’s discouraging to see all the negative stories about Republicans being reported in the news lately. It’s not so much the stories of influence peddling and corrupt lobbyists that really bother me. I’m a businessman myself and I know that making a living can get legally complicated sometimes. You know I’m not looking to criminalize success here. I would have no problem looking the other way if I saw a Republican official taking a bribe, but if I caught this same official oiled up and wrestling with another man in his office then I would look the other way only so I could find a trashcan to vomit into. From there I would do everything in my power to destroy him.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It’s the news stories that involve conservatives and gay sex that really hurt the most.</span><br /><br />In fact, this recent story about the now former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/05/haggard.allegations/index.html">Ted Haggard</a>, and his alleged engagement in a homosexually gay coital love tryst with an equally gay prostitute has deeply upset me. It’s especially distressing because of how often Haggard communicated with the White House and how hard he fought for Christian values. He may have seemed like such a morally upright individual but I guess he fooled us. I’m most upset that he allowed this to happen at a time when it’s so politically inconvenient for the Republicans, but I guess it just goes to show that gay men are concerned about sex above all else (ok, so I already knew that).<br /><br />I admit that the Republican Party has a very serious problem. This Haggard story coupled with the recent scandal surrounding former Representative Mark Foley and those congressional pages makes this abundantly clear. We all know that there are far too many gays masquerading as Republicans within the Party of God and that their very presence undermines our collective moral authority. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I understand that dealing with this gay problem is incredibly important but it’s not the only issue we have to consider this Tuesday.</span><br /><br />We can all work on purging the Republican Party of homos after this election is won. Right now we need to ensure that Republicans retain control of Congress. I shouldn’t need to remind anyone that we are still engaged in a war against Islamofacists who want to kill us. The <span style="font-weight: bold;">Republicans are the only ones equipped to stand up to the terrorists</span> and to keep us alive and I think you know that.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you’re still thinking of staying home then maybe you should consider the following scene:</span><br /><br />Osama Bin Ladin enters the voting booth so that he can do his part to ensure a big win for the Democratic Party. He smiles as he dreams of an America without the strong Republican leadership necessary to foil his sinister terrorist plots. Liberals in power would mean no more War on Terror and nobody to stand in his way. A great sadness fills Osama’s heart though as he soon realizes that Americans would never be foolish enough to leave themselves so vulnerable. Osama hangs his head dejectedly as he turns around to exit his voting booth. Then without speaking Mark Foley and Ted Haggard slip into the booth alongside the soulless jihadist. Both gay “conservatives” begin stroking Osama’s course beard and sensuously rubbing his broad shoulders. Foley then guides Osama’s hand back to the voting machine with his firm yet gentle grip. The lever drops and Osama’s vote is cast. America’s fate is sealed.<br /><br />We can’t allow the Democrats/terrorists to win next week and we shouldn’t let the gays influence this election. <span style="font-weight: bold;">So vote Republican on Tuesday and I promise you that we’ll start working on this gay problem come Wednesday.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1161921795566275282006-10-27T00:05:00.000-04:002006-10-27T00:22:31.273-04:00Second Santorum Political AdIt's nearly November and Bob Casey has apparently decided that a Senate seat is more important than a seat in Heaven. That's the only conclusion I can come to when I see Bob Casey continue to openly oppose Rick Santorum, a man the Lord is more than fond of.<br /><br /><font>In order to help right things we at Conservatives for American Values have decided to commission a second ad. <span style="font-weight: bold;">If Casey insists on remaining in this race then he leaves us no choice but to expose him for who he really is. </span><br /><object style="font-weight: bold;" height="350" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/y3-9DHb68c0"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/y3-9DHb68c0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="400"></object><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Reelect Rick Santorum, for a less depraved Pennsylvania and a better America.</span><br /></span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1160714103926513852006-10-13T00:31:00.000-04:002006-10-13T01:04:55.260-04:00Santorum Political AdWith November quickly approaching Herman and I feel that we need to do everything we can to ensure that God's favorite Senator, Rick Santorum remains in office. So we put together this political ad which explains why you should vote for Santorum and why his opponent Bob Casey is an absolutely disgraceful human being.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pWqBrRw12u0"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pWqBrRw12u0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spread the word and help keep Santorum's seat safe.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1160591613493443382006-10-11T14:31:00.000-04:002006-10-11T14:33:34.093-04:00Guest Post: The Enemy Within<blockquote>While Herman and I put the finishing touches on a political ad we hope to be premiering here this Friday, please enjoy the following guest post from my colleague and friend Robert S. Larkin:</blockquote>On September 29th, 2006 President Bush made a statement in which he declared that those who criticize the war in Iraq are <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/09/29/ap/politics/mainD8KEMJ6O0.shtml">embracing the "enemy's propaganda."</a><br /><br />What President Bush didn't make clear, and which he should have, is exactly whose propaganda the war critics are lapping up. While it is obvious that the propaganda is from Al Qaeda, it appears that most people have overlooked which faction of Al Qaeda has distributed it to the American people.<br /><br />Perhaps President Bush didn't want to panic the American people by pointing out that the propaganda in the <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/5382762.stm">National Intelligence Estimate</a> <b>was written by United States government agencies.</b><br /><br />You read that correctly. Our government has been infiltrated by Al Qaeda operatives and they are actively indoctrinating others in the government. This is not a new tactic. In fact, I have here in my hand a list of two hundred and five operatives that were known to former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright as being members of Al Qaeda and who nevertheless were still working and shaping the policy of the State Department right before President Bush took office.<br /><br />This is why as Americans we should be grateful that the Republican lead Congress has <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/09/28/politics/main2051518.shtml">just passed a bill</a> that eliminates habeas corpus, bans torture (a rather vague term if you ask me), and allows brutally effective interrogation techniques such as <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Investigation/story?id=1322866">water boarding</a>.<br /><br />This new bill in conjunction with our <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/16/AR2005121600021.html">domestic spying program</a> will allow the President to weed out those within our ranks that are subverting the United States while allowing us to also <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" _="" href="http://www.amnestyusa.org/askamnesty/torture200112.html">extract reliable information</a> by nearly drowning these traitors and obstructionists.<br /><br />It is clear by the publication of the NIE that our greatest enemy is national intelligence and we must work tirelessly to cut this cancer from our society. We can all rest easier knowing that our government now has the tools to accomplish this.<br /><br />President Bush's leadership in this area is clearly Americanism with its sleeves rolled up.<br /><br />Mr. President, thank you for putting this nation on the right track.Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1160366447860966132006-10-09T00:05:00.000-04:002006-10-09T00:02:16.530-04:00Welcome, Soon To Be FollowersI would like to personally extend my welcome to the latest influx of godless liberals from both <a href="http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2336767">Fark</a> and <a href="http://politics.netscape.com/story/2006/10/08/satire-forgiving-the-republican-party">Netscape</a>. I’m glad that your curiosity about how the other half lives has brought you to our door. And by “the other half” I mean those with a coherent political ideology and who aren’t bound for the fiery and eternal pit of torment. I’d ask that you wipe your feet as you enter so as to not track sin into our home.<br /><br />I’m very excited that you Farkers especially have taken time out of your busy schedule of Photoshoping “O Rly” owls to devote some energy to your personal salvation. So for everyone who’s new here to get a sense for our mission, we’d like to present you with a list of posts from the last several months that we feel are representative of our righteous mission. You might not agree with everything Herman and I have to say, but you will. In the meantime just try not to agitate our followers by openly disagreeing with anything we have written.<br /><ul><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/06/rush-limbaughs-little-blue-nightmare.html">Rush Limbaugh’s Little Blue Nightmare</a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/07/ending-womens-suffrage-experiment.html">Ending the Women’s Suffrage Experiment</a><a href="#%20http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/santorum-leads-in-poll.html"></a> </li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/07/bush-vetoes-his-way-into-my-heart.html">Bush Vetoes His Way into My Heart</a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/santorum-leads-in-poll.html">Santorum Leads in the Poll</a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/07/liberal-traitors-stop-burning-american.html">Liberal Traitors: Stop Burning American Flags</a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/06/devil-wears-condoms_14.html">The Devil Wears Condoms</a><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/democrats-will-let-terrorists-kill-you.html"></a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/my-lord-is-not-huggable.html">My Lord Is Not Huggable </a><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/democrats-will-let-terrorists-kill-you.html"></a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/09/democrats-will-let-terrorists-kill-you.html">Democrats Will Let Terrorists Kill You</a></li><li><a href="http://cfav.blogspot.com/2006/08/judge-hands-terrorists-keys-to-your.html">Judge Hands Terrorists the Keys to Your Home</a> </li></ul>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1160144641387795722006-10-06T10:17:00.000-04:002006-10-07T20:24:38.376-04:00Forgiving the Republican Party<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/hastert.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/hastert.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ok everyone, just take a deep breath and try not to lose faith. I know some of you are distressed about this whole “former Republican Representative Mark Foley sexually abusing underage pages because he’s a sex crazed homosexual” story all over the news, but let’s try not to overreact. Just stay calm and <span style="font-weight: bold;">don’t even entertain the thought of staying home from the polls this November</span>.<br /><br />Values voters I am making an appeal to all of you. I’m asking that you not forget forgiveness when thinking of your personal values. Please fellow Christians, forgive the Republican Party for allowing a gay man to slither into God’s party. I know you’re all upset and disgusted but <span style="font-weight: bold;">let’s just try not to throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater</span>.<br /><br />Let me be perfectly clear here, if former Representative and current homosexual Mark Foley actually committed these heinous acts, then this is absolutely unforgivable. And let me further state, that if anyone in the Republican leadership had prior knowledge of Foley’s actions and refused to act then they too are culpable.<br /><br />In fact, ever since Foley’s resignation there’s been a lot of talk about what Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert knew and when he knew it. Even members of his own party are calling for Hastert to resign from his leadership post for not acting on this Foley situation. I’m not so quick to call for the head of Denny Hastert though.<br /><br />There’s something you have to remember about Hastert and Republicans in general, they’re inexperienced sinners. Would you really expect Hastert, a poor naïve representative from Illinois to understand any of this child molestation business? He’s not a Democrat so he has no frame of reference for any of this. <span style="font-weight: bold;">So let’s not tar and feather the poor man just because he was far too innocent to understand the seriousness of all of this</span>.<br /><br />Think of how embarrassing it was for Hastert to have one of his staffers explain just what Foley was doing during those sexually explicit IM conversations. I mean just look at the Hastert’s sweet and innocent face above; do you really think he could have understood this kind of depravity? If I had my way Hastert would have remained innocent just a bit longer. Those pages aren’t the only victims in all this.<br /><br />Hastert may never be able to get his innocence back, but we can prevent the entire Republican Party from becoming victims. It would be beyond foolish to let this whole situation deter you from going to the polls and voting for Republican candidates. If you allow the Democrats to win this November then you are responsible for every page that a Democrat molests. Democrats have a lifetime of sinning under their belts and they’ll continue to sin while in office. The main difference is that Democrats know how to molest a congressional page without getting caught. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Think about that this November.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com59tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1159754658689134222006-10-02T00:05:00.000-04:002006-10-06T12:55:43.076-04:00Conservationism, the Subtle Satanism<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/tree.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/tree.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It’s no secret that all liberals openly defy and undermine the Lord in everything they do. No rational person would debate this point. Sometimes though the ways in which they spit in the face of everything that is sacred can be subtle. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tree-hugging conservationists are one group of liberals that are too often underestimated by us morally minded Christians.</span><br /><br />We all know that Muslims, atheists, homo insurgents, and other liberals pose a very real threat to Christianity and the American way of life. Too often though we ignore the moral threat posed by the bearded granola-eating vegans among us. It’s not that these anemic leaf-munchers pose much of a physical threat to anyone who doesn’t resemble a soy plant, but when their depraved ideas permeate our culture then they can pose a true moral danger to all of us.<br /><br />In fact, the basic philosophical ideas of these nature loving freaks show a fundamental disrespect for The Lord. God has given us tall sturdy trees with which to build, precious shimmering oil to power our cars, and delicious meaty animals to eat, all in great abundance. <span style="font-weight: bold;">When we don’t take full advantage of these gifts then we can’t be surprised when God takes it a bit personally.</span><br /><br />To better understand my point, consider the following. Not surprisingly, I am a wonderful provider for my family. I always make sure we have enough money to keep the Steele family fridge stocked with enough food that my children will never know hunger. I also would never allow my children to eat only small portions of food so as to “conserve” what’s in that fridge.<br /><br />I never want Michael Jr. to open our refrigerator door and to wonder what’s going to happen when the peanut butter is all gone. He shouldn’t ever think about that. All that he needs to know is that there’s always a jar of Jif in that fridge whenever he reaches for it. For him to think otherwise would mean he doesn’t trust in me as a provider or father.<br /><br />And what if Michael Jr. refused to drink any of the Sunny D in our fridge because he wanted to appreciate it in its natural and unopened splendor? If he did, then he’d receive a very stern and harsh punishment from me. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I simply can’t allow my children to take for granted what I have given them, and I know that God feels the same way.</span><br /><br />What it boils down to is that anyone who cries all day about global warming or who devotes any time to worrying about endangered species has no trust in God. If we need more oil or more spotted owls then God will simply restock the fridge. Don’t disrespect the Almighty by worrying about what’s going to happen when we clear-cut all the forests and pollute the air.<br /><br />Why take the chance of insulting the Almighty just because a couple of hippies tell you it’s the right thing to do? I ignore these unwashed reprobates and refuse to even recycle my newspapers. If you don’t follow my example, don’t be surprised if you find yourself among the unsaved. <span style="font-weight: bold;">And after the rapture while you’re raiding Earth’s fridge which at that point is filled with nothing but expired condiments, Jesus and I will share a good hearty laugh in Heaven at your expense. </span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1159188062222681862006-09-25T07:30:00.000-04:002006-10-01T23:59:08.960-04:00Chavez Plays With Hellfire<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/chavez.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/chavez.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has got a lot of nerve. The communist leader has long thumbed his nose at America and her freedoms, but this time Chavez has taken things too far. Instead of just verbally assaulting America from afar, Hugo has decided to make things personal by continually insulting our President during his recent visit here to the United States.<br /><br />In fact, while making <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/09/20/chavez.un/index.html?section=edition_americas">his address to the U.N. </a>in New York last week, Chavez used the opportunity to cement his reputation as the Hispanic Howard Dean:<br /><blockquote>"The devil came here yesterday," Chavez said, referring to Bush, who addressed the world body during its annual meeting Tuesday. "And it smells of sulfur still today."</blockquote>I actually watched the footage on TV while Chavez made these incendiary remarks. One thing I noticed though is that Chavez never actually called Bush “the devil” during his speech, but instead referred to him as “el Diablo.” After spending years listening to the incomprehensible gibberish spewed by my gardeners I can recognize Spanish when I hear it and <span style="font-weight: bold;">this little moronic diatribe was made in Spanish</span>.<br /><br />Look, if you’re going to cross the Mexican border, like Chavez presumably did en route from Venezuela, and come to this country you’d better know how to speak the language. Now I’m sure Hugo knew pretty far in advance that he would be addressing the U.N. here in the good old U.S. of A. He had plenty of notice. He could have at very least learned a few English words so that when he spat on everything we stand for, he could do it in our native tongue. <span style="font-weight: bold;">If you’re going to insult the President of the United States on American soil, at least have the decency not to do it in Spanish. </span><br /><br />Now let’s move on to the actual substance of Chavez’s remarks. Again, he called President Bush, a leader hand-picked by the Almighty, Satan. Unbelievable! But this just begs the question, why would the Lord pick His greatest foe to rule over His favored nation? <span style="font-weight: bold;">The whole thing just defies common sense.<br /><br /></span>Another point to consider is that the devil would have great difficulty climbing the ranks within the Republican Party, the party of God and moral values. Maybe he could get elected to a local post like county commissioner but certainly not president. I think it’s quite clear that if Satan ever wanted to find himself in the White House, he’d have to do so with a “(D)” after his name. Even then it would be quite a struggle for Beelzebub to make it through the Democratic Party primary with all those far-left liberal delegates questioning whether he’s truly evil enough to represent the Democratic Party.<br /><br />But all of this talk about Satan’s presidential prospects is taking me away from my main point – Hugo Chavez is a godless communist who made a tremendous error in judgment by insulting President Bush. It would be wise for Mr. Chavez to keep a lower profile and keep his Spanish-speaking mouth shut. If Chavez continues to taunt us, he may leave America no choice but to unleash a devastating wave of freedom and democracy upon his nation. I also think it’s high time that Hugo Chavez learned a few words of English. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Maybe, just maybe, he could begin by slowly and carefully sounding out the word “sorry.”</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1157933428501927922006-09-11T07:30:00.000-04:002006-10-01T20:35:09.656-04:00My Lord Is Not Huggable!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/jesus_talking_450.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/320/jesus_talking_450.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>There is a very dangerous children’s toy currently on the market and that I wanted to make all the parents out there aware of it. Just because this particular toy doesn’t present a choking hazard that doesn’t mean it can’t irreparably harm your child. In fact, this toy could be more dangerous to your child than a plastic bag filled with razor blades. I’m talking about a Bible quoting and <a href="http://www.holyhuggables.com/talkingjesus.htm">“huggable” version of My Lord and savior</a>, Jesus Christ.<br /><br />Initially when I heard about this talking plush Jesus doll I was quite excited. I was even going to write a post suggesting to all my readers that they go out and buy a Jesus doll for their daughters (and Jesus Christ action figures for their sons if they were available). But when I delved further into this I made a startling discovery. I found that this doll was not the Jesus that I know and love but something far more insidious.<br /><br />First of all, this doll sends kids the message that it’s ok to hug any unshaven man who uses as rope as a belt when he says things like “I love you and I have an exciting plan for your life.” I think having this doll in my house could potentially undermine the Steele family policy of not hugging homeless hippie pedophiles.<br /><br />The second problem I have with this doll is how he looks. To understand what I mean, first I would ask all of you to take a moment and look at the picture of this stuffed abomination above. Notice the doll’s dark skin, his dread-locked hair, and the fact that he looks as though he would be quite adept at Frisbee or hacky sack. Now compare this to the picture of Jesus you have on your wall at home. See what I mean? <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jesus should look like a beaming blond-haired and blue-eyed Adonis, not some hippie with poor hygiene and a vacant glassy stare.</span><br /><br />Do you see where I’m going with this yet? Of course you don’t. What I’m trying to say is that this is not a stuffed representation of the Jesus we all know and love. This is not the Jesus that hates sodomites, loves unfettered free market capitalism, and supports the War on Terror. This doll is a false idol of a false god created by liberals who want to undermine our Christian faith. These liberal nonbelievers co-opted Christ and remade him in their own twisted image. They created a pseudo-Jesus who preaches tolerance toward all, respect for women, and a concern for the poor. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I hate this so-called Christ with every fiber of my being.</span><br /><br />If this doll were an accurate representation of the angry vengeful God I know then no child would want to hug or play with it. If my son, Michael Jr., had a real Jesus doll then he would cower at the very sight of it. Having a Jesus doll watching you as you sleep should be as terrifying for a child as being tucked in with a Chucky doll. The child should fear and respect their Jesus doll, not love it and cuddle it as if it were a damned teddy bear. It is for these reasons that I’m urging parents not to buy one of these dolls for your child. If you wish to be a responsible Christian parent you need to make sure that your child views the Lord not as his “bestest snuggle buddy” but as <span style="font-weight: bold;">the one thing standing between him and eternal torment in Hell.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1156438676339050332006-08-24T12:45:00.000-04:002006-09-12T15:18:30.803-04:00Lord, Please Silence These Fools<blockquote>Dear Lord, please quiet the foolish tongues of all non-Christians and unbelievers. Render mute all homosexuals and fornicators so that the minds of your children will remain pure and chaste. Still the tongues of all who refuse to praise your name. </blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">This is a prayer that could never be uttered in an American public school, despite the urgent need for these very words to be spoken.</span><br /><br />There was a time when the school day could begin with a prayer like this. There was also a time when the teachings of Christ actually played a role in the classroom. Now the only thing a Bible can be used for is kindling in teachers’ lounge to help warm the teachers as they figure out new and creative ways to indoctrinate your children.<br /><br />One of the major reasons for this damnable legal shift is that Christians don’t quite make up as overwhelming a majority as they used to. Ignoring non-Christians was a whole lot easier when the American Muslim population didn’t exist or when religious diversity consisted of one crazy unbeliever/outcast that lived in the woods and conversed with forest animals. Supposedly even a nut like this has the right to worship Satan as he sees fit.<br /><br />But this very argument that prayer shouldn’t be allowed in schools because it silences religious minorities makes me laugh. I not only laugh because the argument itself is ridiculous, but also because the thought is so very pleasing to me. Just picture it – <span style="font-weight: bold;">non-Christians being shamed into submission and having shut their damn yaps for a change</span>. Cue the halleluiah chorus.<br /><br />The courts also seem to think that making non-Christians say Christian prayers is religious coercion and violates the so-called separation of Church and State. Apparently these same activist judges seem to think it is also their duty to protect these religious minorities from the imposition of Christian values. This interferes though, with my duty to impose my Christian values on everyone around me. So it seems we have a very serious dilemma.<br /><br />You see, I understand this school prayer argument perfectly. I acknowledge that the lone Muslim kid in the classroom might feel a bit isolated sitting alone in a corner while the rest of his class is lead in a recitation of the Lord’s Prayer. But frankly the thought of little Osama Jr. being teased on the playground isn’t enough to make me overlook the importance of giving our children a good moral education. Accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior or find another place to play ball, kid!<br /><br />Honestly, the problem with this whole argument is that we absolutely shouldn’t be protecting children from such experiences. On the contrary we need make sure this happens much more often. We need to use peer pressure to drive a few more unbelievers into the flock. The separation of Church and State thing wasn’t as rigidly enforced when everybody had the correct idea of what the Church part of this equation should be (Church = Christ for the mathematically disinclined). <span style="font-weight: bold;">Only if we can be more aggressive in our conversion efforts and eliminate the overabundance of religious diversity in this country can we return to education centered on Jesus Christ.</span><br /><blockquote>Lord, I pray that if you do not see fit to cleanse and purify these vermin so that you may bring them into your flock, please ensure that their cries are unheard by the ears of your true followers. Make them go away, God, just make them all go away. Amen. </blockquote>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1156182595757461602006-08-21T12:30:00.000-04:002006-08-22T21:35:03.910-04:00Judge Hands Terrorists the Keys to Your Home<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/door.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/door.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Since it’s a known fact that Democrats can’t win elections, they score political victories the only way they can: through the justice system. We’ve seen this sad fact played out yet again as last week another liberal ruling has been handled down by the courts; <span style="font-weight: bold;">a ruling that directly translates to the deaths of millions of Americans.<br /><br /></span>Despite what you may think, this particular ruling has nothing to do with abortion or a mother’s so-called right to commit fetuscide. No, it seems that liberals are no longer content to just kill unborn Americans; they apparently want too see the rest of us dead as well.<br /><br />The liberal commitment to the destruction of the American way of life was shown again as Judge Anna Diggs Taylor (a woman no less) recently ruled that the Bush administration’s use of warrantless wire taps is both illegal and unconstitutional. In case you’re wondering, this ruling does in fact seal the fate of all Americans. This out of control activist woman judge with the help of the ACLU (surprise, surprise) have just handed al Queda the keys to your house. The most you can hope for at this point is that the terrorists don’t track mud onto your nice carpet as they sneak into your home to slit your throat while you sleep.<br /><br /><a href="http://washingtontimes.com/national/20060818-113927-4993r.htm">President Bush’s response</a> to this travesty of justice was of course firm, direct, and completely correct:<br /><blockquote>“[Opponents of the NSA surveillance program] simply don’t understand the nature of the world we live in… We must give those whose responsibility it is to protect the United States the tools necessary to protect this country in a time of war”</blockquote>I couldn’t agree more, Mr. President. In fact, the single biggest problem with the Constitution in general is that those who originally drafted it had a pre-9/11 mindset. We live in a very different world now and we can’t allow ourselves to be constrained by the civil rights of America’s citizens. Sorry liberal traitors, if we actually want to defeat this enemy and spread freedom and democracy across the globe <span style="font-weight: bold;">we no longer have the luxury of a right to privacy. Deal with it.</span><br /><br />While the implications of this ruling are terrifying, if there’s one thing I know about President Bush, it’s that he won’t allow this to prevent him from protecting America. He’ll find a way around this Constitution problem and defeat our Islamist foes. Until he does though, your personal terror level should remain somewhere between “completely incapacitated by fear” and “soiling your pants.”<br /><br />I, on the other hand, shall remain strong in the face of our impending doom. I personally understand that protecting the principles of an outdated piece of parchment like the Constitution simply doesn’t matter in the context of the War on Terror. I know this, the President knows this, and you should know this. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I just pray that until the President is able to address this, that the terrorists will limit their inevitable orgy of destruction to the godless liberals who support this ruling. </span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1153921859694662382006-07-26T09:48:00.000-04:002006-07-28T14:39:59.376-04:00Adopting Non-Embryonic Children is Selfish<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/brownback.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/brownback.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>If there’s one thing that last week’s Presidential stem cell veto has taught us it’s that embryos can be saved from their hellish frozen existence and raised as children of God. These “snowflake children” played a very important role during President Bush’s press conference last week as they stood behind him and put a human face to the reality of embryonic mass murder (well several tiny human faces to be precise).<br /><br />I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days about the parents who made the choice to adopt these embryos and raise them as their own. I’ve also thought about those precious children who were brought up specifically to be advocates for embryonic rights. The parents here were given a choice between adopting a living breathing child and adopting an embryo frozen in state. These parents realized that giving some child who has already had the privilege of being born a better life is not as important as giving birth to a child who can help make a political point. <span style="font-weight: bold;">These parents are heroes. </span><br /><br />The truth of the matter is, if you are unable to conceive naturally, this is a clear message from God that your bloodline is far too tainted to be carried on. Think of this as a Godly equivalent of natural selection (I call it “intelligent selection”) with the intelligent selector (God) choosing who should and shouldn’t have children. Of course, if you trust in the wisdom of the intelligent selector (and you should unless you like burning in Hell) this eliminates the possibility of in vitro fertilization.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">So if you find yourself in such a situation, you’re left only with the choice of adoption.</span><br /><br />When making the decision to adopt an already born child or a frozen pre-born almost child you need to think of it in terms of potential. Not just potential for life, but potential for the advancement of the pro-life cause. If you adopt a non-Snowflake child and he/she makes a drawing of petrified embryos fearing for their very lives it might find its way on your fridge but I seriously doubt <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/2006/07/18/brownback-embryo/">Senator Brownback would be talking about it on the floor of the Senate</a>.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Snowflake children are the only kids with the authority to make the case for life. </span><br /><br />So, when going through that adoption process, try making a choice that pleases the Lord for once in your life and adopt an embryo. There’s a reason you were made fruitless by the Almighty – you angered Him. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Don’t make Him even more enraged by being so selfish as to miss the opportunity to advance the pro-life cause.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1153440007789930122006-07-21T00:01:00.000-04:002006-09-15T03:58:23.613-04:00Scott from Scott-O-Rama is Gay<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/scott.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/scott.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>There are certain people who think that outing bloggers is a completely despicable act. I disagree. I really can see no downside in forcibly removing anyone from the closet, regardless of their political ideology.<br /><br />If they are a liberal, doing this can cause great harm to them personally which is of course very pleasing to the Lord. If, on the other hand, they’re a conservative then we’re merely doing God’s work of sanctifying His party. <span style="font-weight: bold;">So really it’s a win-win situation whenever we can expose a blogger as a depraved homosexual.</span><br /><br />Well it looks like I’ve managed to discover another gay man hiding beneath the rock that is the liberal blogosphere – Scott from <a href="http://www.scottorama.com">Scott-O-Rama</a>.<br /><br />You see, I’ve been studying Scott ever since he made a derisive comment about President Bush that earned him a place of shame on our blogroll of iniquity. You might call the act of me reading his blog “opposition research.”<span style="font-weight: bold;"> I prefer to think of it as watching a moral train wreck in progress.</span><br /><br />In my daily reading of his blog, I started to notice some very disturbing things. First of all, it’s completely plastered with pictures of naked men. I at first assumed they were placed there to lure gay men away from the conversations that took place there – an ingenious idea. If given the choice between participating in a discussion and ogling naked men, a gay man will always pick the most sinful path. But I wasn’t quite satisfied with this answer, as Scott seemed to talk an awful lot about gay issues for a straight man. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I began to grow suspicious.</span><br /><br />Then I started seeing references to his “boyfriend” Buckaroo. A big red flag went up. Although I at first thought that Buckaroo was perhaps a plutonic heterosexual male companion like my dearest and straightest friend Herman B. Hayes. As I continued to read on though, that red flag began to turn to more of a pale lavender color highlighted with a breezy blue pastel border.<br /><br />Finally the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. “This Scott guy is clearly gay!” It was at this point I discovered that I had just been made an unwitting participant in an act of pure perversion. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I then decided it was my moral obligation to make the rest of world aware of just who Scott really is.</span><br /><br />Scott is a threat! If you doubt that fact, consider the following: his site gets an average of between 4,000 and 5,000 visitors a day. That’s right, the entire gay population of the United State checks Scott’s blog everyday (You should ignore the inflated figures given by the gay community as they are inaccurate and absolutely terrifying). Scott could choose to mobilize his sodomite soldiers to march on to destroy marriage. We simply can’t allow this to happen. Expose his evil plan and tell everyone you know: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Scott is gay and he’s arming his readers for battle!<br /><br />Update: </span><a href="http://www.scott-o-rama.com/2006/07/21/exposed/">Scott Responds!</span></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1153355302082519682006-07-20T00:01:00.000-04:002006-07-21T09:50:05.993-04:00Bush Vetoes His Way Into My Heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/veto.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/veto.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">A victory for unborn almost children has been won today! </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/07/19/stemcells.veto/index.html"><br /><br />President Bush answered the question posed by those in Congress</a> and by people all around this country today: “Is it better to give women the option of using their embryos left over from fertility treatment for research or to just dispose of them?” Bush made the right choice in vetoing a bill that would have given women this choice.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>He understands that these little tiny itty-bitty human beings are deserving of a respectful burial inside a hazardous waste container and not a test tube.<br /><br />My Presidential hero may have vetoed the bill in private today, but he still had the courage to stand up in front of a friendly crowd and proudly announce what he had done. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Although this time he didn’t go it alone, he had a little help from some pint-sized friends.</span><br /><br />Making up part of the backdrop of his press conference today were several absolutely darling children. But these weren’t ordinary kids; these little tykes were originally frozen embryos slated for disposal themselves but were saved by loving parents looking for a child to both love and use as a political prop. There must be something about being a frozen embryo at one point though that makes you grow up to be extra adorable. If I weren’t so straight I would have a strong desire to hug each and every one of these precious little “Snowflake children.”<br /><br />Now, surrounding himself with these fully developed children would seem completely unrelated to the bill he vetoed today if you didn’t understand the liberal end game here. I mean we all acknowledge the fact that an overwhelming majority of these frozen embryos will never be adopted and will instead be destroyed. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Just because they hold the possibility to cure the diseases of millions of people does not mean we should then go routing through the trash for them. </span><br /><br />No, the second we allow this to happen then liberals are one step closer to their ultimate goal of murdering fully grown snowflake children in the name of science. I’m not talking about the microscopic embryos; I’m talking about football playing, heterosexual boys here! <span style="font-weight: bold;">How could you possibly look into the faces of these children and think that stem cell research is ok?</span><br /><br />I certainly am happy that Bush didn’t decide to invite a bunch of sick children to stand there with him instead. Their presence would have cast a very dark cloud over this whole thing. And I don’t want to think about such depressing things on this glorious, wonderful and absolutely fantastic day!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Hallelujah!</span><br /><br />Today is another day that I truly thank the Lord for putting George Bush into office. Just think, without him these difficult moral decisions would be left to two large deliberative bodies full of mere men who happen to represent each and every state in this nation. Collectively, Congress could not understand the true will of God. Only George seems to understand this.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> That is why I will see this as the day that Christianity has finally triumphed over science. </span></span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1153076774961784222006-07-17T08:25:00.000-04:002006-07-20T16:55:43.893-04:00Moral Mailbox: Who Should I Hate More?<img src="http://img30.echo.cx/img30/1587/moralmailbox1sj.jpg" style="margin: 2px; padding: 5px; float: left;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Today’s moral mailbox question comes to us from “A Christian Hater for God”:</span><br /><blockquote>Which should I hate more: Democrats or homosexuals?<br /><br />I can only afford to make so many "You're going to burn in hell"<br />signs, and I would like to know on whose lawn I should place them to guarantee my eternal salvation.<br /><br />Thank you for your unerring moral advice</blockquote>Well, “Christian Hater,” the first problem I see in your email is the implication that people have a limited capacity for hate. This simply isn’t true and you’re more than capable of casting your net of animosity as wide as you need. <span style="font-weight: bold;">It certainly isn’t as impossible as you make it seem to hate everybody that’s different from you.</span><br /><br />Well, perhaps I’m making it seem deceptively simple. There is quite a bit of effort that goes into constantly reaffirming your own superiority to any person or group of people. It can down-right exhausting finding examples of ways liberals, non-Christians, gays or minorities are inferior to you. The eventual payoff though is huge.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Just think of how it will feel to have Jesus whisper this into your ear:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">”You’re far better than the unsaved rabble that will spend eternity in Hell. You’re one of my chosen few. You’re special.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I still get chills whenever Christ says this to me.</span><br /><br />Now, on to your question of whether you should spend more effort hating liberals or homosexuals. This question of course needs to be rephrased since all homosexuals are liberals and very few liberals are not homosexuals. Regardless, everyone contained within either group is deserving of as much of your hate as you can muster. The real question though is which group’s agenda you should spend more effort trying to impede. So let’s examine them both first.<br /><br />The homosexual agenda calls for the dissolution of the family, the corruption of our children, and the promotion of depraved sex acts like bestiality and non-procreative heterosexual sex. The liberal agenda on the other hand calls for the removal of Christianity from American life and a system of anarchy brought on by the victory of our terrorist foes.<br /><br />I think it’s pretty clear that if the goals of the liberal agenda are met then the battle against the homosexual agenda is already lost. So my advice to you, “Christian hater,” is to hate both liberals and homosexuals in equal measure but devote more of your time working toward stopping the liberal agenda. Silence those liberal traitors anyway you can, be it through intimidation, subterfuge, or good old fashioned lying. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Remember, the Lord is more than willing to overlook a series of minor sins if they are committed to ensure that America remains a godly nation.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1152484914035207112006-07-10T00:05:00.000-04:002006-07-11T21:41:19.306-04:00Help Santorum Stop the PA Mexican Invasion!<img src="http://img299.echo.cx/img299/4519/immigrants4jp.jpg" style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" />My absolute favorite senator, Rick Santorum continues to lag behind his Democratic opponent Bob Casey in the polls. Sadly, it seems that much of Pennsylvania is simply not as charmed by his anti-homosexual vitriol as I am. But fortunately, Santorum has now found an issue that can really get those poll numbers turned around in his favor: illegal immigration. It is in fact the subject of <a href="http://www.ricksantorum.com">his first TV ad</a> which is currently running throughout the state.<br /><br />I know, as a Pennsylvania resident, just how important this issue is to all of us. And really all one has to do is consult a map and note our proximity to Mexico to understand how big of a threat it is for everyone in this state. So realizing this, Santorum has begun to hammer Bob Casey on the issue. Unfortunately though <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06190/704504-178.stm">the uni-browed State Treasurer is fighting back</a>: <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06190/704504-178.stm"></a><br /><blockquote>Mr. Casey has criticized his opponent for votes against penalties for employers who hire illegal immigrants. Last week, Mr. Santorum insisted that he supports sanctions against any firms that knowingly break the law, but said that the primary responsibility for insuring that workers are here legally lies with the government.<br /></blockquote>I couldn’t agree more, Rick. Employers should not be held responsible for hiring illegal immigrants unless they personally drive to Mexico and bring them illegally into this country themselves. We cannot expect employers to take any extra steps to ensure their workers are legal or that their documents are legitimate. <span style="font-weight: bold;">It’s not their problem that they don’t further scrutinize who they allow to work for them, it’s our problem.</span><br /><br />While it seems that both Santorum and Casey wish to do something to prevent Mexicans from physically crossing the border, Casey selfishly ignores the desires of employers to hire cheap labor. Removing the incentive for Mexicans to cross our borders in the first place does nothing but unfairly tie the hands of businesses who want more choice in who they can hire.<br /><br />Santorum will continue to gain leverage on this issue as long as Casey is seen as being on the side of amnesty for illegals and against business. So this brings me to what all of us can do to ensure that Casey continues to appear on the wrong side of this debate: <a href="https://contribute.bobcasey.com/form.html?sc=3">Donate $18.25 to Bob Casey’s campaign</a>.<br /><br />What’s the significance of this number you ask? Well, 1825 is the year of Mexico’s independence and in donating this you are making it clear to everyone that Mexicans support Bob Casey. If you choose to make a check out to the Casey campaign for this amount, be sure to include the note: “Gracias por la amnistía” in the memo field. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Even making a small contribution like this to Bob Casey we can help stop the Mexican invasion and also secure the Senate seat of one of the holiest men ever to grace the hallowed halls of the United State Senate - Rick Santorum.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Idiotic Counterpoint: </span><a href="http://politics.netscape.com/story/2006/07/05/op-ed-reclaiming-the-issues-its-an-illegal-employer-problem/">It’s an Illegal Employer Problem</a>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1152244002000625422006-07-07T00:05:00.000-04:002006-07-15T20:52:19.046-04:00Want to Talk to God? You Have To Go Through Me.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/prayer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/prayer.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Do you long for the time when children were read the Bible in school everyday and America had a more righteous citizenry? Do you wish we were still in the days where adultery was a punishable offense and women couldn’t vote? Do you also wish you could turn the clock back to before you knew what a “butt plug” was?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Well, don’t just stand there child of God, take up arms and follow me, there’s no time to lose.</span><br /><br />I realize that the idea of ceding to a central moral authority (or authorities in the case) seems positively Catholic but just hear me out. In times like these there really is no other option. If you want to affect real change in this country you have to stay organized, stay obedient, and stay on message. That simply doesn’t work if everyone is trying to talk to God directly without realizing that He won’t waste his time listening to the prayers of every Tom, Dick and Harry Homo.<br /><br />You first need to prove yourself worthy in order to be heard by the Almighty. The only two people here who have done so and have the ear of God are Herman and myself. God may not be listening to you, but I’m listening, my unworthy friend, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’ll make sure Jesus is made aware of anything that I deem pertinent.</span><br /><br />Maybe some of you already turn to a moral leader like James Dobson for your ideas on politics, Biblical interpretation, and child rearing. While I have tremendous respect for Dr. Dobson, he’s simply a little too advanced in age to see this thing to its conclusion. It’s time to jump off the Dobson ship before it sinks and begin riding the new wave of Christian conservatism. The Lord may not have taken Dobson into his final embrace just yet but <span style="font-weight: bold;">He has already picked spiritual successors – Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes.</span><br /><br />This movement thrives on charismatic leaders like James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. You people are fortunate enough to have two such leaders each with more than enough charisma to spare. We also have the wisdom and righteousness necessary to interpret the Bible correctly and allow it to inform our politics. From there we inform you of what your politics should be. And while it may be tempting to “cut out the middleman” and go to God yourself, He has no interest in being found by you directly.<br /><br />To deny my moral authority or to deny Herman’s moral authority is to deny the authority of God. So put down your newspapers and books and pick up your Bible. I’m not asking you to read this Bible, mind you, but only to carry it with you. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to be made aware of within its pages.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1151952807858597112006-07-03T15:00:00.000-04:002006-09-03T23:53:59.296-04:00Liberal Traitors: Stop Burning American Flags<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/flag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/flag.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>As anyone who actually loves America knows, tomorrow is the day that we celebrate Independence Day. Those of a more progressive persuasion will no doubt use this day to mail out care packages to insurgents in Iraq and plot the general overthrow of our government. I on the other hand, think <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’ll spend my day welling up with patriotic pride as I grill hot dogs on my perfectly manicured lawn. </span><br /><br />I’m proud of this country because I can look to all the progress we’ve made in this War on Terror and in the spreading of our shared American values across the globe. I love this country, and anyone who reads this blog knows this. Despite the great progress we’ve made abroad though, there’s still a lot of work to be done here at home.<br /><br />Just yesterday I was in the basement of my home searching for an especially large flag to hang on my front door. As soon as I found it though a very real sadness came over me. I clutched that oversized Old Glory in my masculine hands as if it were a child rescued from a fire. And in fact, this flag has been pulled from flames as real as the fires of Hell that all liberals will experience in the afterlife.<br /><br />For I know that if this flag were in the hands of a liberal it would not be treated with the same level of respect that I treat it with. There is no telling how they would choose to disrespect and desecrate our flag before ultimately incinerating it and urinating on the ashes. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Liberals love to burn American flags, and that’s a fact.</span><br /><br />We came very close to having an amendment passed that could protect that flag that I cradled in my arms yesterday from such harm. But alas, some politicians in Washington don’t think <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/27/flag.burning/index.html">our flag is even worth protecting</a>:<br /><blockquote>The Senate by a single vote Tuesday rejected a proposed constitutional amendment to ban desecrating the American flag.</blockquote>Now, this amendment isn’t some naked political move on the part of a few Senators trying to appeal to people with more patriotism than Constitutional understanding. I mean, what was the Constitution written for anyway if not to silence unpopular speech? <span style="font-weight: bold;">Those who voted against this amendment simply aren’t interested in protecting freedom. </span><br /><br />It is little consolation to me that some of these Senate Democrats who voted against this will pay a heavy political price during the November elections. I mean the “Candidate X is a traitor who supports flag burning and therefore hates God” campaign ads practically write themselves. No, this goes beyond partisan politics. If you burn a flag you hurt America in a very real way and not just symbolically. <span style="font-weight: bold;">America simply isn’t strong enough to fight a War on Terror and have people complain about it in such extreme ways at the same time.</span><br /><br />Look, I understand that tomorrow is a day of mourning for liberals and all others who hate this country. I have a simple request though. Tomorrow for once in your pathetic sinful and meaningless liberal lives could you resist burning an American flag? Just for one day could you pretend you actually care about this country just a little bit? <span style="font-weight: bold;">I realize this is as likely as one of you liberals actually reading the Bible, but I have to ask for America’s sake.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com57tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1151542803435019362006-06-28T21:00:00.000-04:002006-07-05T21:34:02.346-04:00Rush Limbaugh's Little Blue Nightmare<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/rush.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/rush.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I’m sure many of you have heard the seemingly disappointing news about Rush Limbaugh. For those of you who haven’t, here’s the “story” <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2006/06/27/rush-limbaugh-viagra-cx_gl_0627autofacescan07.html">as the mainstream media is reporting it</a>:<br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote>.. Limbaugh was detained Monday for more than three hours at Palm Beach International Airport, upon returning from some R&R in the Dominican Republic. Customs officials reportedly found a bottle of [Viagra] in his bag--but his name wasn't on the prescription</blockquote>As you can imagine, liberals are having an absolute field day with this story. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I just find it so fascinating that godless unbelievers would have the gall to cast judgment upon anyone, let alone a man as thoroughly righteous as Rush. </span><br /><br />Yes, yes, I do realize that Rush has had problems with prescription pain killers. He’s admitted to this and has gotten the treatment he needed. While I’ve never had such a moral lapse, it seems that sometimes God’s children (read: Conservatives) are entitled to make mistakes. The difference between him and some strung out kid in the ghetto is this - Rush had a job that paid well. Jesus is more than willing to take you into his arms and forgive such indiscretion as long as you’re a contributing member of society. Otherwise, it’s just you and your crack pipe.<br /><br />But, back to this Viagra story and the true explanation that the media just doesn’t seem to get. You see, Rush went to the Dominican Republic for one reason and one reason only… <span style="font-weight: bold;">to prove his righteousness to himself and to all of us.</span><br /><br />Rush obviously experienced a great deal of self-doubt after his bout with OxyContin addiction. “Am I still the morally upright person I proclaim to be?” “Can I still continue to cast stones even though I am no longer without sin?” He probably asked questions like these over and over again in his head. But ultimately he realized that too many people depend on him and that he needed to do something to rebuild his moral confidence.<br /><br />Now, the best way that I know of to prove your righteousness is to put yourself in a situation where you are strongly tempted to sin so that you can resist this temptation. Rush Limbaugh clearly understands this and took his bottle of Viagra to a place known for its prostitutes and flourishing sex industry – the Dominican Republic.<br /><br />I can picture Rush now, walking down those dusty streets with the bottle of Viagra in hand. He pops a few of those little blue pills into his mouth as he continues down this road and towards his ultimate redemption. He walks by a group of brown skinned temptresses who offer to fulfill any depraved sexual desire he might have. But he resists. Even though his member is fully engorged and throbbing he still resists.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Could you liberals honestly say that you would have as much moral fortitude as Mr. Limbaugh? </span>Would your response be the same?<br /><br />So before you cast moral judgment on this great man, ask yourself this: <span style="font-weight: bold;">how many Dominican whores could you walk past with an erection before you gave in to your base carnal desires?</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1151068384574036942006-06-23T09:00:00.000-04:002006-06-25T03:30:08.960-04:00Welcome To The Fold, Senator McCain<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/mccain.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/mccain.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You know, I’ve noticed a real change in the senator from Arizona, John McCain lately. I have to say it’s a change I find refreshing from the man who once <a href="http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/politics/jan-june00/gop_debate_3-3.html">said this about evangelical leaders during his 2000 run for president</a>:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>They've led our party in the wrong direction.… The message of intolerance and exclusion rather than inclusion is directly in contradiction to the message that I've been trying to send around America... They will desert, I hope, the intolerant and wrong-headedness of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.</blockquote>I wonder, Senator McCain, how did your strategy of asserting that the Religious Right is some sort of tumor on the Republican Party work out for you? Oh, you didn’t even make it out of the primary, did you? Well even a weak-kneed moderate like yourself is smart enough to now realize that <span style="font-weight: bold;">we can be just as exclusionary and intolerant to Republicans who don’t share our views as we can be to homosexuals who try to corrupt our children.</span><br /><br />Now, as campaigns for the 2008 presidential elections begin to heat up it seems that the McCain has changed his tune to <a href="http://www.boston.com/news/world/articles/2006/05/13/analysts_say_mccain_wooing_religious_right/?page=1">something more pleasing to my Christian ears</a>:<br /><blockquote>By accepting the invitation [to speak at Falwell’s evangelical Christian college] and showing newfound respect for Falwell, political analysts say, McCain is courting religious right voters with the goal of accomplishing in 2008 what he couldn't in 2000: win the Republican nomination for president.<br /></blockquote>What do you think, dear readers, has McCain finally accepted Jesus as his personal savior? Has he at last recognized the cracks in the foundation of the moral edifice in this country?<span style="font-weight: bold;"> You might think so, but let me explain to you how you’re once again wrong.</span><br /><br />First, I should acknowledge the fact that John McCain is a hero. He has truly seen the horrors of war as a POW in Vietnam and for that I respect him. I, as a conservative, have nothing but good things to say about any man who has served his country in the military, be he Republican or even moderate Republican.<br /><br />Given his experience with war, I think it's safe to say that McCain fears no man. Unfortunately this fearlessness also extends to God. He simply does not have a healthy fear of God to help inform his politics. McCain is a man without any sense of morality, and quite frankly is a man with no soul. But this empty vessel of a man can still prove quite useful to me and the rest of the social conservative movement.<br /><br />You see, we’re all well aware of the fact that McCain does not share our values but we also know that he wants very badly to be president. To even stand a chance of making it this time, he’ll have to get the Jesus-friendly seal of approval. In order to get this, <span style="font-weight: bold;">he’ll have to promise and deliver anything we ask him for. </span><br /><br />We may even draft the executive order calling for the designation of homosexuals as enemy combatants in the war on Terror so that he can sign it immediately should he make it to the oval office. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I have to admit though, that there is nothing greater then watching a former foe crawling on his belly pleading for my help. There is simply nothing sweeter than this.</span><br /><br />So you may have been wondering what that absolutely <span style="font-style: italic;">fabulous </span>scent Senator McCain has been wearing lately is called. It’s called political desperation. I personally think it suits him quite well, and I know the rest of the Religious Right movement find it absolutely intoxicating.Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1150681428011534512006-06-19T12:05:00.000-04:002006-07-08T20:52:46.546-04:00The Meek Shall Inherit My Tax Burden<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/money.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/money.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You know, the more I think about how much of my hard earned money goes to pay for social programs to benefit jobless liberals the angrier I become. I do not work hard making money so that it can be taken from me by Uncle Sam and used to feed those who are too stupid and lazy to feed themselves.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why should I even have to pay any taxes at all?</span><br /><br />You see, taxation is, and always has been, a form of punishment. You force people to pay money to deter them from committing a certain act. You are fined for speeding or littering so that you will think twice before doing either of these things again. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Since when did being financially successfully and having more than enough money to sustain yourself become a crime?<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Just think if the rules of the road worked like our current inequitable tax system does:</span><br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">Officer:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Do you know why I pulled you over?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You: </span>No, sir, I honestly don’t know why. I was going the speed limit and I’ve always been a careful driver.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Officer:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Well, I saw you come to a complete stop at that stop sign back there and you even signaled before you turned, so I’m going to have to give you a ticket and a fine.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You:</span> But I don’t understand...<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Officer:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Well it’s simple, we’re going to take the two hundred dollars we get from you and give it to a driver who just ran a red light and plowed down three pedestrians walking on the sidewalk so that he can get a more powerful engine put in his car.</span></blockquote>Does this scenario seem at all fair to you? If it doesn’t then that means you’re sick of this progressive tax system we are currently stuck with. If it does then it means you’re an idiot.<br /><br />The simple fact of the matter is that if you bring home anything less than $100,000/year, then you cannot honestly say that you’ve worked as hard as you could have. It’s people like this that need a firm reminder that they will get nowhere in this country without a good strong work ethic. Taxes should serve to motivate those less industrious people to put in those extra weekend shifts at Burger King if they hope to have enough to pay both their tax bill and rent come April. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I obviously don’t need such a reminder and therefore should not have to pay a single cent in taxes!</span><br /><br />Bottom line, the wealthy should not have to pay taxes just because they have more than enough money to meet their basic needs. I’ve heard people say that taxes are the price you pay for living in a country that actually allows you to acquire so much wealth. It’s supposedly giving back to a country that has given you so much. To this I say that <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’ve already contributed more than enough to this country by actually working to my potential and fulfilling the American dream. </span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1150342433335540222006-06-15T12:05:00.000-04:002006-07-04T13:45:55.800-04:00Why Censorship Is So Important<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/censor.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/censor.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You may have noticed that we have started moderating all comments on this blog. In the past couple days we have received comments that we didn’t like from people whose views do not mesh with the overall mission of Conservatives for American Values. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Those fools have now been silenced.</span><br /><br />I don’t think we need to justify this decision to anyone, but I would like to give my readers a taste of the type of comments that have polluted this blog (their names have been changed for their own protection):<br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">firearmz said:</span> You are not Christians, I am a Christian. You will go to hell, I will not go to hell. You are bad, I am good.</blockquote>This is probably the most absurd thing I have ever read. I’m not a Christian? I am the measure by which all other Christians should be judged. You claim to be a Christian, yet you do not believe fully in the principles of conservatism that Jesus teaches. Me go to hell? Not unless God wants to send me down there to help torture all the liberals that have ended up there.<br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">the inebriated Japanese warrior said:</span> You guys are insane. I am a conservative and you’re making all of us look bad.<br /></blockquote>Yes, I make all of you look bad but only by comparison. I am an unabashed conservative, untainted by the disease of moderateness. You, on the other hand, are a weak-kneed coward who is afraid to stand up for the true principles of the Republican Party. I do shame you, but only because you’re a pale imitation of a conservative.<br /><br />Another issue with allowing comments to be posted without our approval is that a comment can remain up for hours without Herman or I having the chance to address it. This gives liberals an opportunity to present subversive or depraved ideas such as the ones presented above before we can rhetorically rip them to shreds. This puts our readers at risk of succumbing to the twisted ideology of liberalism. I cannot let that stand!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You may disagree with our decision, but luckily for those true conservatives who understand the importance of censorship, we won’t have to read your idiotic complaints about it anymore.</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11791163.post-1150085576122058312006-06-12T00:10:00.000-04:002006-07-02T15:55:33.610-04:00My Two Part Plan for Bettering America<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/1600/eagle.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3514/1094/200/eagle.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It’s not always enough to just talk about liberals and the problems they create – sometimes we need a clear plan to deal with these societal problems head-on. Therefore, I humbly submit a two part plan that I know can help change America for the better.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Immediately deport all “illegal immigrants”</span><br />This part is simple; we need to introduce legislation that would deport all illegal immigrants in this country back to Mexico (regardless of their country of origin). Amnesty is not an option here. These people broke the law in coming to this country and that makes them criminals. I say anything less than a savage beating followed by deportation is a sign of weakness.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Redefine the definition of “illegal immigrant”</span><br />Mexicans are trying to change every word in the English language to its Spanish equivalent while at the same time homosexuals try to redefine the very definition of marriage. It’s time we end this “war on words” and take back the English language and our country!<br /><br />With our no nonsense deportation policy in place, the second step of my plan is to introduce a bill that expands the definition of who should be considered an illegal immigrant to include:<br /><ul><li>Anyone who speaks Spanish fluently</li><li>Homosexuals</li><li>Non Christians</li></ul>In doing this we ensure that America is cleansed of its less desirable citizens and is that much closer to the Christian utopia we all pray so loudly for. Please, if you are reading this, call your Senators and tell them <span style="font-weight: bold;">“No amnesty for immigrants, homosexuals, or Spanish speakers.”</span>Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15161592223560266730noreply@blogger.com22