by Herman B. HayesOn 6-29, America was attacked by terrorists. Jihad has struck at our shores once again.
On Thursday, the Supreme Court decided in a 5-3 ruling that our guests at Guantanamo Bay could not be tried in military tribunals. I went outside when the ruling was announced on CNN, just to see if I could hear the forces of terror cheering. I could, and the nine loudest cheers came from within the Supreme Court itself.
Apparently cherry-picking a Supreme Court does not guarantee you as much as it used to.
Our great and holy President Bush has done his best to keep this nation safe. Mr. Bush has personally gone after the forces of terror in Iraq, in a series of lightning in-and-out raids. He has championed the Patriot Act, which essentially outlaws the vile free speech required to be a terrorist. Furthermore, he hand picked two Justices for the Supreme Court, and made sure that august body would vote the way he, President Bush, saw fit. I guess you can’t even trust your good personal friends these days.
Five plus three equals nine, if you are an idiot.
Now, Conservatives for American Values should be your only news source. Since I am sure that you have not heard about this anywhere before, let me break down this ruling for you. Five Justices voted to support the terrorists: Stevens, Breyer, Ginsberg, Souter, and Kennedy. Voting to support freedom and Jesus were Scalia, Thomas, and Alito. The Oh-so-extremely Honorable Chief Justice Roberts recused himself due to prior involvement in the matter. So, which Justices should we send to Gitmo for supporting terrorism?
We should Guantanamize each and every one of them.
My reasons are very simple, but in case your minds are simpler, I will explain. My logic is clear for the five of them who voted in favor of killing American woman and children. Why would we incarcerate Scalia, Thomas, and Alito, though? They seem to be the ones who do not want to see dead Americans stacked like cordwood. To put is as gently as I can: They are hellbound cowards of the worst kind. The three dissenting Justices should have attacked and disabled the five-person Al Qaeda Judicial Squad before they could carry out this vicious terrorist attack on our nation. “But what about Roberts, what did he do?” you ask.
It is more a matter of what John Roberts did not do.
He could have stopped this mess before it ever started. First off, he should not have recused himself from this decision. He is the Holy Leader of the Supreme Court. He had the power that God granted him, and he failed to use it. His vote, plus a little persuasion, could have prevented 6-29 from ever happening. It would have been a simple matter for Chief Justice Roberts to convince a weaker Justice, such as the female Ginsberg, to vote in the proper manner. I would have suggested using some of the same persuasion techniques that we have honed so well at Guantanamo Bay. I guess he will get a little more first hand experience in that area now.
We must send them there, so they can’t attack us here.
It is clear what we must do. Our nation has been attacked by the radical Islamic terrorists of the Supreme Court. We must find them, lock them up, and try them before a military tribunal. Perhaps after our Glorious President has had the chance to hand pick an entire court, America will be safe again. Until then, we must move on. America will never forget the events of 6-29, but we cannot allow them to ruin our lives. America must band together, except for the liberals and the homosexuals, and press on towards a glorious future.