by Herman B. HayesThis is all your fault, you miserable liberals. You have put
We Republicans know that all is not lost for us, and we will do fine. You Democrats follow fads like mice follow cheese, and soon the fad of voting will be over with. Soon you will all forget about having your voices heard, and go back to watching gays on television making houses look like homosexual sodomy nests. I am not sure that you understand how much danger you have put all of us in, though, in the meanwhile.
I cannot blame Donald Rumsfeld for stepping down. He, even though he is one of the toughest men on Earth, probably does not want to get blown to little bits in his office.
You liberals have opened the door, and the terrorists are walking right through it. They will be sure to wipe their feet, though, on the faces of those that you love. Rumsfeld knows that since the Democrats are in power, no one is safe, especially not the Secretary of Defense. Would you want to keep going to work if you could assume that any morning you could open your office door to find Osama pointing a gun at you while molesting your “executive assistant”?
Go ahead, liberals, celebrate. Just make sure that you hang your Taliban flag off the front porch of your house, so the terrorists know that you are their friend. I, for one, am going to continue to fly my good old American flag. I still love this country, and besides, I own lots and lots of guns. I will never forgive you for putting myself and my family in danger.
I guess now is the point at which I should congratulate you all for winning and try not to wonder too much about just how a group of unorganized, unwashed, and unsaved liberals managed to take control of Congress. I suppose the Republican Party is partly to blame for this, though. They were simply all too tired from governing, foiling terrorist plots, and winning election after election to even realize that you liberals would be able to somehow steal dozens of elections across this country. You know you cheated, I know you cheated and God certainly knows you cheated, but that is a topic for another day. Now I would ask you to raise your glasses and toast to your success. Drink fast, though, because your victory will be a short lived one.
If you put together the names of the top twenty Demon-crats that were voted in by you fools, you can spell the word “terror”. How could you vote for terror? I think you liberals should be locked up and studied, to see why your brains fail to function properly. Is there some kind of different synapse in there? Perhaps one that tells you to do things that are not in what we tell you is your best interest.
You are going to die; you do realize that, right? If the terrorists, your invited guests, don’t kill you, something else that you have caused will. For instance, the Democrats are working on a program of “retroactive abortions” where you could be killed up to forty years after your birth, if people decide that you are unwanted, or if you might get in the way of someone having a good time.
Wait, I have an idea! Why don’t you liberals just combine the two ideas of terrorism and retroactive abortion?
That way you could actually fund the Islmo-aborto-fascists as they go about their evil and disgusting work. Make sure that you have some quotas in place, though, you will need to be sure that you have some gay terrorists on the payroll.
Thank you, Liberal America. Thank you for taking away the sense of safety and security that the Republicans gave me. Thank you for taking away the knowledge that my anus was mine to do with what I please, keeping it tightly clenched. Thank you for destroying everything that I hold dear. Enjoy your two years of power, please. We will be taking over again in 2008, if you animals leave us enough
Note: This post was authored by both Herman B. Hayes and Michael Gregory Steele.