Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Waiter, There is a Terrorist in My Soup

by Herman B. Hayes

Thank God for the Department of Homeland Security!

We had a close call in Pittsburgh last week, dear readers. I am very surprised that this story has not received more national press, but since you only read this blog for information, you would not have heard about it anyhow. Imagine the worst sort of terrorist plot that you can. Delve as far in to your weak little minds as you can, and dredge up your darkest fear.

Terrorist Lunch-Ladies.

We all know that lunch-ladies are frightening enough to begin with. Just thinking of them scares me to the core. “Pizza or peanut butter sandwich?” they growl at you, sending thirty years of excess nicotine streaming towards your face, driven by garlic scented wind. Consider, though, that the lunch lady was not just someone who made the cafeteria food at your school, college, or place of employment?

The person who is making your food, or the lady taking your money, could be plotting to kill you. (They probably are.)

Judy (Infidel Crusher) Miller and Mary (Mujahideen) Broughton were, to the best of my knowledge, placed in handcuffs and forcibly ejected from their places of employment. I think that our government’s response to these Jell-O-cup jihadists was not strong enough, considering where they worked.

These terrorists were well placed within our government.


One of these women worked at the Federal Courthouse in Downtown Pittsburgh, and the other worked across the street at the Federal Building. This is one of the most deviously hidden sleeper cells that Homeland Security has ever rooted out. Neither woman has a criminal record. They have done nothing to call suspicion upon themselves, and everyone loves them. They are obviously driven to kill every American they can.

The details are too terrifying for us to know. They are also too terrifying for Judy and Mary to know.


No one outside the Department of Homeland Security is allowed to know the details behind the dismissal of the lunch ladies. Can you imagine something so terrible that your government would not tell you about it? Our government is so open and honest that it frightens me terribly to consider what these women were planning. Cash register bombs? Italian wedding soup with little miniature hand grenades instead of meatballs? There are so many ways that cafeteria workers can cause massive amounts of death and destruction.

Of course, a Democrat is helping to kill us.

Representative Mike Doyle, an evil Democrat, is helping these tray-service terrorists regain their “employment” within the Federal system. Of course, “employment” in this case actually means “deep cover”. Leave it to a Democrat to invite terrorists in through the front door. Rep. Doyle is trying his best to help two honest, hardworking citizens kill innocent federal employees. He is such a nice guy. Remember, though, Mike, think long and hard about your choice when Mary and Judy say:

“Thank you Mike! Won’t you please try the chili?”

7 Comments:

At July 19, 2006 12:53 AM, Anonymous Lily said...

Obviously their crimes are unspeakable. They shouldn't even be allowed the privilege of a fair trial!

 
At July 19, 2006 8:22 AM, Anonymous GOP Kinda Guy said...

Good to see Homeland security doing their job! Now that those two women are no longer serving lunches,I feel so much safer. Is this not the most competent,concerned,vigilant,and most honest of administrations. I hope

 
At July 19, 2006 5:43 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

They are also communists. They have the same name as three other people in the phone book. THAT makes it a conspiracy. I can't say more right now.

 
At July 20, 2006 2:45 PM, Blogger dusty said...

Trial? just hang the bastards now..I mean..Gitmo is full right? Just hang em all now.

 
At August 08, 2006 2:05 PM, Blogger mtspace said...

What a scary story! Who could have imagined they were such dangerous terrorists? I feel so blessed to live in a country where I can be protected from such evil fiends.

 
At December 29, 2008 1:54 AM, Blogger sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,A片,視訊聊天室,聊天室,視訊,視訊聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,上班族聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,一夜情聊天室,情色聊天室,視訊交友網a片,a片


免費A片,AV女優,美女視訊,情色交友,免費AV,色情網站,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人影片,成人網站,A片,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,情色網,日本A片,免費A片下載,性愛

A片,色情,成人,做愛,情色文學,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,視訊聊天室,言情小說,愛情小說,AIO,AV片,A漫,avdvd,聊天室,自拍,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,色情A片,SEX,成人論壇

情趣用品,A片,免費A片,AV女優,美女視訊,情色交友,色情網站,免費AV,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,成人影片,情色網


情趣用品,A片,免費A片,日本A片,A片下載,線上A片,成人電影,嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,微風成人區,成人文章,成人影城,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,臺灣情色網,色情,情色電影,色情遊戲,嘟嘟情人色網,麗的色遊戲,情色論壇,色情網站,一葉情貼圖片區,做愛,性愛,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊交友網,免費視訊聊天,美女交友,做愛影片

av,情趣用品,a片,成人電影,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人影城,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,情色電影,aio,av女優,AV,免費A片,日本a片,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,聊天室,美女交友,成人光碟

情趣用品.A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情聊天室,情色視訊,情色文學,色情小說,情色小說,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,情色電影,色情遊戲,色情網站,聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,美女視訊,辣妹視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊交友網,免費視訊聊天,免費A片,日本a片,a片下載,線上a片,av女優,av,成人電影,成人,成人貼圖,成人交友,成人圖片,18成人,成人小說,成人圖片區,成人文章,成人影城,成人網站,自拍,尋夢園聊天室

 
At August 03, 2009 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

酒店喝酒

酒店消費

喝花酒

粉味

暑假打工

寒假打工

酒店經紀人

酒店現領

禮服店

酒店小姐

酒店兼職

台北酒店上班

台北酒店兼職

禮服店

酒店上班

酒店打工

台北酒店小姐

酒店經紀

酒店兼差

假日打工

台北酒店經紀

酒店經紀公司

酒店午場

酒店規定

酒店行政

酒店資訊

酒店藝名

台北酒店

酒店日保

 

Post a Comment

<< Home