Thursday, June 08, 2006

The GOP Has Been Infiltrated…By Satan!

by Herman B. Hayes

Something is wrong inside the Republican Party.

I am not referring to the fact that most Republicans are far too weak on the important issues of the day, such as men marrying men, or flag burning. These are issues that we know about, they are at the surface, and will be dealt with. No. There is something much more sinister afoot. We have a mystery, and I hate mysteries.

Our sacred symbol has been corrupted.

I love our symbol, the Republican Elephant. It does truly stand for our party. It has the power and the girth to flatten all opposition. It inspires me. Well, I should put that in the past tense. It did inspire me, until today. Our symbol has been wronged, and we need to set things right.

Satan has taken our elephant.

Look closely at our symbol. Notice the three stars? The five pointed star is associated with goodness and balance. It is even the same star that is found on our beloved American flag. Look at our symbol a little closer, though, and tell me what you see.

The stars are upside down!

You read it right. The stars on our symbol are upside down, with the single point at the bottom, and the footer points at the top. This is not the symbol for anything happy, cuddly, or warm. There are three of these upside down stars. These are the stars that represent the goat, which in-turn represents Satan. Symbologists (like that idiot Robert Langdon in “The DaVinci Code”) agree that the five pointed star, or pentagram, is an ancient symbol for the number “6”. Let me spell this out. Three pentagrams equal 666. This is the symbol for my arch-enemy, Satan, or his minion, the Anti-Christ. Why in the world would our symbol have the emblem of Satan on it?

Politicians don’t create symbols, but artists do.

Wow. Who would have thought that an artist would have the proverbial balls to do this? Not I, for certain. We may never know which crafty (read gay) little artist made our symbol a billboard for the devil. One thing is obvious, though. We need to bring these artists under control. I am sure you have all heard of “artist colonies”, right? I think it might be best if all artists went to colonies. Camps, if you prefer. That might be the best way to concentrate them all in one place. There is a term for that, camps that concentrate people, but it is escaping me at the moment.

I have an important request.

We need a straight, honest, Republican artist. No such person exists in the world today. I am requesting, readers, that you support me while I begin to study art. I am stronger in my politics, masculinity, and faith than any of you, but I would appreciate your support. With your help, someday, I might be able to turn these stars right side up. Until then, turn your Republican elephants upside down. It is better to look at an inverted pachyderm than it is to worship Satan by looking at our current symbol.


At June 08, 2006 1:27 AM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

It was only a matter of time before the Satanism spawned by Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, Michael Moore, and Howard Dean found its way deep into our Party, where it has clearly infected formerly good men like Arlen Specter and John Sununu (I won't say Olympia Snowe was ever good, because if she'd been a good woman she'd have been at home tending to her family instead of in the Senate voting on the Federal Marriage Amendment.)

We eagerly await your reintroduction of God to the symbols of our party.

At June 08, 2006 9:44 AM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

conservative patriot: All I need is your support, while I learn the dark art of art. There may be hope for Specter, although I doubt it. I would not have voted for him last time around if I thought he was going to become a Democrat. I hate being fooled.

At June 08, 2006 10:15 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Republicans and art don't always mix so well, but I'm game.

Chris (My Blog)

At June 08, 2006 1:07 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

chris: Republicans and art do not mix at all. That is why I am taking such a huge risk. I wish I could wear rubber gloves, but the Church places them in the same catergory as condoms.

At June 09, 2006 3:45 PM, Blogger OTTMANN said...

Republicans can be creative too. You don't have to be void of morals to create stuff like liberals are.

Good observation about the logo. I noticed it before, and it should be fixed!

At June 09, 2006 4:19 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

ottmann: Maybe you are right. The problem is, I do not want to create what the liberals have created...filth, pornography, pedophilia, AIDS, welfare bums, Hillary Clinton, fellatio in the Oval Office...etc. The Democratic creative track record is a bit weak.

At June 09, 2006 5:17 PM, Anonymous Not Conservative said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At June 09, 2006 5:49 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

The above comment was removed because we do not accept product plugs in our comments. Thank you.

At June 09, 2006 6:25 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Herman: I've been down this road myself. Let me know what I can do to help.

At June 09, 2006 8:14 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

Herman, I noticed that right after CFAV came back, Fafblog also returned. I thought at first it was because you are also Fafnir or Giblets. But then I thought that was impossible. But your son. He's out of rehab, isn't he? You'd better keep an eye out.

At June 09, 2006 9:17 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

kirk: Just pray for me, old friend. Pray for me.

blue gal: I hate to say that I have never heard of a "fafblog". It sounds like some sort of horrible liberal rant-fest that would make me sick to my stomach.

At June 11, 2006 5:04 AM, Anonymous Stig said...

Putting artists in concentration camps???? Give me a bucket, 'cause I'm going to be sick. Ever been to a concentration camp you idiot?? You know why Jews where put there? 'Cause you're big friend Adolf thought they were a threat to the country, he was a bit paranoid you see. Just like you. And think again someone must have approved this symbol, a republican, so either he was a satanist, stupid, both, or he just didn't care (logical).

At June 11, 2006 7:40 AM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

stig: I am sure your arguments would have merit. That is, they would have merit if you were explaining them to a fellow patient in a mental facility. I suggest you try the guy who plays chess with himself all day. I have heard from other insane liberals like you that he will probably be the best listener.

At June 11, 2006 1:24 PM, Blogger Corporate Jesus said...

Corporate Jesus supports the arts, and our Holy Chosen Leader.

With the help of Conservatives for American Values we can beat back the brown skinned savages and found our great City on a Hill (in a gated community that has strict policies about the rights of ethnicities to own property and reside there). Only then will God be pleased enough to rain down new markets in which to sell our Holy and blessed goods. He will deliver unto us promised lands that flow with oil, uranium, and other raw materials. For He is the power that created the ability of free markets to self-regulate.
Don't worry though, faith, ignorance and blind obedience we will once again win the day and vanquish those who would question the authority of the GOP to speak for God.

At June 12, 2006 11:20 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

corporate Jesus, et al.: Please make sure your comments are on-topic. The above comment appears to me to be an ad for another blog. If you want to be mentioned on our blog, email us and let us decide. It is very, very rude to promote your own blog in the comments section of someone elses' blog. Keep on topic, and don't use us as a promotional vehicle. Thank you for abiding by these simple requests.

At June 13, 2006 1:38 AM, Blogger The Drunken Samurai said...

Just a serious question, here. Did you turn the stars around yourselves? Just wondering. I have not seen it anywhere else. Besides that... a star is not a pentagram, anyway. So, now you have turned a pentagram into a star, as well as inverted it to try to prove something that just isn't there to begin with?

Is this a comedy site? Come on. You guys are comedians, right? Geez. I sure hope so. If not, do you have any more tinfoil hats you can share?

At June 13, 2006 7:23 AM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

drunken samurai: Go to the official GOP website, then go to the "GOP in Espanol" section. (A double insult.) That is the largest version on the GOP site. If you can't see that, you are blind. Remember, I am always happy to help an idiot see the light!

At June 14, 2006 12:13 AM, Blogger The Drunken Samurai said...

Interesting. To give credit where it is due, you are right. They did invert the stars, but they weren't always that way. This is the first I've seen it like that. When did this happen?

Even though they may be upside down, it's still just stars. Not pentagrams. When they change it to pentagrams, I might buy into the whole Satanism thing. It is still interesting, to say the least.

At June 14, 2006 12:52 PM, Blogger Emmy said...

Stars? We don't need no stinking stars!

CROSSES are the way to go! What better way to show our Christianly Compassionate (towards the 'right' people only, of course!), better-than-thou, Magnificent Morals.
Plus you won't need no dark arts school -- just a protractor and someone with a modicum of math ...nothing too fancy or 'scientific', just a bit of algebra and 1st week Sophomoric geometry.

At June 14, 2006 1:15 PM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

emmy: Good thinking. That is not a half-bad idea. I think a cross-bearing elephant would be a better symbol.

At June 14, 2006 5:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the drunken samurai is an idiot:
pentragram definition.

At June 15, 2006 2:30 AM, Blogger The Drunken Samurai said...

Whoever posted that "definition" obviously did NOT read it. Geez. Fucking morons. Read it before you post it. Please.

At June 20, 2006 8:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not like it matters anyway. Remember, Jesus rode a donkey. Not an elephant.

At June 21, 2006 3:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps the GOP has been infiltrated by Satanists......But conversly, I've seen proof of christianity having an influence on pornography. I've noticed whilst viewing pornography (just research mind you) that many of the actresses appear to be wearing cross necklaces.......Am I wrong? Are there insidious & pernicious forces at work here?

At June 21, 2006 11:02 AM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

anonymous: How in the world would I know if you were right or wrong? Do you really think that I have ever watched pornography in my life? I really don't feel like going to hell, thank you very much. Watching pornography for "research" is the same as Christ having sex with a mule, just to see what bestiality was like.

At June 22, 2006 1:51 AM, Anonymous Big Tex said...

As my spiritual leader Mr Hayes,you're correct as always. Viewing porn for research is analogous to having sex with a mule just to experience bestiality. Although I'm certainly not at the level of Christ himself,that role has been ordained by God and given to our unassailable President. So in the spirit (no pun intended)of morality,shall we thus shun Neal Horsley? And if we must shun Mr Horsley,then indeed not only has Satan infiltrated the GOP,but this is proof and indicative of an even DARKER and MORE sinister force enveloping our beloved community and country.....The dark,sinister, and evil force/cloud/storm known as LIBERALISM!!!!!111111

At October 26, 2006 2:44 PM, Blogger hotnuke2004 said...

You fucking scum are hilarious. The Repuglikkkunt Party hasn't been INFILTRATED by the EVIL of Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, Michael Moore, and Howard Dean. The REPUGLIKKKUNT PARTY IS THE EPITOME OF EVIL

Those Satanic symbols are on your logo NOT because some "Liberal" artist put them there, but because your LEADERS are EVIL FUCKING SATANIST SCUM. And the fact that you follow these evil, TREASONOUS bastards even today, and blind yourself to their evil is beyond pathetic and hilarious.

You're a sick, perverted lowlife, who has a special place reserved in whatever heinous afterlife awaits all scum like you.

At October 26, 2006 2:44 PM, Blogger hotnuke2004 said...

You fucking scum are hilarious. The Repuglikkkunt Party hasn't been INFILTRATED by the EVIL of Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, Michael Moore, and Howard Dean. The REPUGLIKKKUNT PARTY IS THE EPITOME OF EVIL

Those Satanic symbols are on your logo NOT because some "Liberal" artist put them there, but because your LEADERS are EVIL FUCKING SATANIST SCUM. And the fact that you follow these evil, TREASONOUS bastards even today, and blind yourself to their evil is beyond pathetic and hilarious.

You're a sick, perverted lowlife, who has a special place reserved in whatever heinous afterlife awaits all scum like you.

At November 02, 2006 1:15 AM, Anonymous CarolB said...

You're all wrong. It's the symbol of the Eastern Star, which is a Masonic organization. Read up on the Masons and their history in our and European government and connections to the Illuminati.

At November 02, 2006 1:43 AM, Anonymous CarolB said...

At November 02, 2006 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wake up folks. The Republican party IS evil, IS Satan and represents ALL that has gone bad in our great country. How appropriate that it took the initiative of a gay (are you serious?!?) artist to point this out.

At February 14, 2007 11:20 PM, Anonymous kr0k4z said...

What year did the GOP choose to invert the star within the elephant? I find myself stunned that I have not noticed this until recently, this is very strange to say the least...

At March 08, 2007 1:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The symbol changed in 2000, right after the supreme court put the devil in office!

At July 06, 2007 3:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hail Satan!

Empower us with your dark forces oh Lord of all that is unholy

Your servant,
George W.

At September 12, 2007 10:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush is a luciferian twit, and a satanist, dummies. Look at the his hand sign yesterday at the 911 memorial and is the "El Diablo" sign of satan here at
and then again with the queen

Wake up and smell the Satanism, America!!!!!!!

At March 06, 2008 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Herman B. Hayes;
After reading some of your responses, I ask you "who would Jesus hate"? Perhaps you are a bizarro christian.

At October 22, 2008 2:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush is grandson of Aleister Crowley ? That is weird thing to be burdened with. (Source Barbara Bush 2005 Bio)

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