Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Opportunity and Hope

by Herman B. Hayes

I am going to get right to the point, readers. It is not often that we are given an opportunity like Hurricane Katrina. I know, all of you idiot liberals out there are shocked and outraged at this. Mind you, no one around you will notice, since you are always shocked and outraged about one silly little thing or another. While you are awash in your indignant ire, though, consider this:

When God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, did he elect to save the “historic districts”? No, he did not.

Folks, when God has had enough, he speaks loudly on the topic. We have been given a chance to rebuild this city, and this cannot be a city built on rock and roll. (Or any other sin, for that matter.) Right now is our chance to build a City of God, right here at home. One problem comes immediately to mind, though: You cannot build a City of God below sea level. That would be idiocy.

New Orleans must be raised to a minimum of three hundred feet above sea level, one hundred feet for each member of the Holy Trinity.

There needs to be a church on every block, no bars, and all the theaters should show nothing but The Passion of the Christ. God would look well upon this. I will leave the details to the great theologians of our time.

What about the non-Christians, and all the people who were in housing projects?

They will just have to live in less holy cities. There is not really much that can be done on that matter. These are people who were not well tolerated by God. Remember, we are talking about people who were not working hard enough to put sufficient money into the church collection plates. Think of God like a Holy Landlord:

When God tacks an eviction notice on your door, there is no judge to appeal to. It means he wants new tenants. There is nothing to be done.

In closing, the mission is clear. Rebuild New Orleans, and let us do it right this time.

24 Comments:

At September 15, 2005 3:28 PM, Blogger scribe said...

God told me you're next because he hates metrosexuals who wear eyeliner.

 
At September 15, 2005 10:54 PM, Blogger Blue Gal said...

Blue Gal thinks this blog...is just so special. You are in my prayers. Keep the faith.

 
At September 16, 2005 12:37 AM, Blogger The Phantom of The Opera said...

This is quite an exceptional blog, I like what you are doing here.

 
At September 16, 2005 7:14 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Hermie,

I'm pretty sure why you want the theaters to show nothing but The Passion Of The Christ. I bet your favorite part is when he gets beaten. Nothing like some sadistic voyeurism huh? You're indeed a true christian.

 
At September 17, 2005 1:34 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r.: I've tried to ignore you all this time, but your hatred of Christians is really disturbing. To even suggest a Christian would enjoy watching their Savior being beaten by a bunch of Christ killing Jews is so utterly offensive I just can't even imagine… You are just sickening.

At least I can take comfort in knowing that you will be one of the first sent to Hell when the Rapture comes.

 
At September 17, 2005 2:06 AM, Anonymous Tom Harper said...

Ah, Bourbon Street with churches instead of bars -- such a cleansing image. The memories of walking through the French Quarter, drinking hurricanes out of open containers -- I repent! The Lord has spoken, and New Orleans must be rebuilt in His Image. It's a painful reality, but we must accept it. He has spoken.

 
At September 17, 2005 1:40 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Kirk - Go sing a hymn you anti-semitic hypocrite and stick to ignoring me.

 
At September 17, 2005 3:32 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r.: You are clearly an idiot. Nothing I said was anti-Semitic. It is fact that the Jews are Christ killers. Watch the documentary "The Passion of the Christ" if you don't believe me.

Maybe you are too ignorant to know this fact, but Jews are required by the Talmud to undermine the Gentile by charging them interest on loans. The Talmud requires the Jews to lend money freely among themselves and every major bank does this. They have a code when they fill out loan applications that gives them a zero percent rate.

Next time you get a credit card application, look closely and you'll see I'm right. There's a Star of David hidden somewhere on every application. It is all part of the Z.O.G.

It seems to me that the Jews and Lutherans are anti-Gentile while I am simply a God fearing Christian. Maybe if you'd stop smoking your dope you'd see this.

 
At September 17, 2005 5:52 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r.: I guess I should direct you heathens to a scholarly research site.

See, unlike you we don't hate any religious groups. We just post the facts.

 
At September 17, 2005 8:29 PM, Anonymous Conservative Patriot said...

Some of the men who have the ear of Gos (such as Pat Robertson) have warned that one day a hurricane would visit God's wrath upon the hedonists of New Orleans. That day finally came, and still people look for "reasons," someone to blame.

Can't we all see that FEMA could not possibly have stood up to this power, or that fortifying the levees would have been an exercise in utter futility? God cast His Judgment, and the hedonism stopped. Mere men can do nothing when faced with the tremendous power of the will of God. Nothing except adhere and accept.

 
At September 17, 2005 11:03 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Amen, Conservative Patriot. The people of New Orleans brought this upon themselves with their strip clubs, booze, prostitution and golden calf worship.

 
At September 18, 2005 1:18 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

Kirk - I had a bit of trouble reading your response through the billowing smoke emanating from your burning cross. Is your copy of Mein Kampf autographed? Once again, I strongly urge you to ignore me.

 
At September 18, 2005 2:07 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r.: I don't read Chinese, but it makes sense that a communist like you would.

 
At September 18, 2005 4:31 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Kirk - Mein Kampf is German you dolt. Your stupidity pills must be kicking in, your responses are getting progressively asinine.

 
At September 18, 2005 6:30 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r. Oh, so you're a Nazi communist then? Sorry I'm not current on your latest liberal propaganda. You do know your hero, Stalin, is dead?

 
At September 18, 2005 7:49 PM, Blogger M.R. said...

Kirk - Nazi communist? Get your political ideologies straight you ignorant wretch. The only thing deader than Stalin is your gray matter. Keep it up pinhead, you're making Michael Gregory Steele and Herman B. Hayes look like geniuses.

 
At September 18, 2005 8:12 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

m.r.: Why are all you liberals so angry all the time? Why can't we have a civil discussion? When you've been proven wrong you all just resort to name calling. Grow up.

 
At September 18, 2005 11:18 PM, Anonymous moodymann said...

m.r.
Are you really as stupid as you are making yourself look, or are you just a part of the farce too? With all these neo-con caricatures, there really should be a liberal-dope portrayal to act as a balance. If it is the former, then here is a hint - look up 'satire' in the dictionary; it is listed after 'sap' and before 'thick'. If it is the latter, then carry on, it is great entertainment.

 
At September 19, 2005 1:14 AM, Blogger Kirk said...

moodymann: Why do liberals always try to discredit conservative truth by labeling it "insanity," "paranoia" or "satire?" I guess when you can't refute something you'll resort to any tactic.

 
At September 19, 2005 3:31 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

Moodymann - Are you really that stupid to think I'm actually taking this nimrod seriously? "Liberal-dope portrayal", very clever.

Kirk - The day you prove me wrong I'll stop insulting you. In the meantime, shut your pie-hole you insipid right-wing trogladyte.

 
At September 19, 2005 8:02 AM, Blogger Herman B. Hayes said...

Sometimes it is rather enlightening just to read your comments. Mostly I realize how much I am annoyed.

 
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