Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Battle Stations!

by Herman B. Hayes

We devoted all of last week to one of my favorite people, Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. As you all know, Rick Santorum is a holy and good man. However, there is a problem.

The midterm elections are crucial to our survival.

Conservatives need to realize that the upcoming elections are more than just your average midterm contest. It is vital to protect our finest senator. This message is especially important to residents of my home state, Pennsylvania. Robert Casey, the most likely Democratic challenger, is an evil and immoral man.

Make sure that you have read Mr. Steele’s comments on this matter, and understand his tactic.

Of course, I fully agree with what my esteemed colleague has postulated as a plan. I feel the need, however, to reinforce this message. We are, for all intents and purposes, at war with the liberals of this nation.

Think of Rick Santorum as a fortress of God in a sea of evil.

We must defend our fortress. If Fort Rick falls, the others will be in grave danger. The forces of evil only need six seats to take control of the Senate. If this happens, we may well be doomed. Terrorist attacks, Abortions-in-a-box, and more natural disasters will follow.

Of course, this is not just an issue in Pennsylvania. There are other fortresses on our defensive line.

Senator Mike DeWine of Ohio is under siege, and our troops in that state are disorganized at the moment. Get it together, Soldiers of God. Senator Conrad Burns of Montana is in need of reinforcement. Senator Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island is in trouble also. Stop being wishy-washy, Chafee. You are a Republican, now act like one.

Each and every one of you has a role to play.

Folks, this is combat. It may not involve tanks and guns and planes, but make no mistake: You are fighting for your very lives. The Conservative Christians of each and every state need to organize. This may be our most important battle since Concord. We, the Minutemen of God, must stand behind our Senatorial fortresses in this coming conflict. We can win. We must win.

We have powerful allies in this struggle, and I will take this time to thank them.

I would like to thank Boeing, Cardinal Health, Eli Lilly & Company, Bank of America, MBNA Corporation, RJ Reynolds, Home Depot, Smith Klein Beecham, Yahoo!, and the American Health Care Association for their contributions to our war chest. Follow the leads of these great American businesses, support your soldiers of conservatism.

You have your orders, you know the plan. Dismissed.

22 Comments:

At September 27, 2005 5:51 PM, Blogger bkwrd_dog said...

I don't know... the article below suggests that maybe I should not want to elect a man of god to political office.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1798944,00.html

 
At September 27, 2005 6:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That article is obviously written by a Godless heathen! Don't be sucked in by the author's blasphemous use of facts and figures!

 
At September 27, 2005 6:54 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

If God wanted me to read that link, it would work when I click on it. I can only assume that it is more hate propaganda put out by the Z.O.G. against God fearing Christians such as myself.

 
At September 27, 2005 10:46 PM, Blogger bkwrd_dog said...

I was wondering why that address didn't show up as a link. I was just thinking that I screwed up... but now I clearly see that it was god's will.
But now I'm confused, should I accept my failure as god's will or should I ask for forgiveness for failing?

 
At September 28, 2005 5:01 AM, Blogger M.R. said...

Hermie - You are truly a marvel of modern science. I never thought it possible for a human to actually get dummer by the minute. Your war analogy is at best farcical. "Minutemen of God"? Get real, The whole Christian soldier thing is so old. Want to fight a real war? Go ahead and chuck a few grenades at the forces of ignorance, or are you afraid of taking out the entire conservative movement by doing so?

 
At September 28, 2005 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HERE is your stinking article!

September 27, 2005

The Times

Societies worse off 'when they have God on their side'
By Ruth Gledhill, Religion Correspondent



RELIGIOUS belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today.



According to the study, belief in and worship of God are not only unnecessary for a healthy society but may actually contribute to social problems.

The study counters the view of believers that religion is necessary to provide the moral and ethical foundations of a healthy society.

It compares the social peformance of relatively secular countries, such as Britain, with the US, where the majority believes in a creator rather than the theory of evolution. Many conservative evangelicals in the US consider Darwinism to be a social evil, believing that it inspires atheism and amorality.

Many liberal Christians and believers of other faiths hold that religious belief is socially beneficial, believing that it helps to lower rates of violent crime, murder, suicide, sexual promiscuity and abortion. The benefits of religious belief to a society have been described as its “spiritual capital”. But the study claims that the devotion of many in the US may actually contribute to its ills.

The paper, published in the Journal of Religion and Society, a US academic journal, reports: “Many Americans agree that their churchgoing nation is an exceptional, God-blessed, shining city on the hill that stands as an impressive example for an increasingly sceptical world.

“In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy and abortion in the prosperous democracies.

“The United States is almost always the most dysfunctional of the developing democracies, sometimes spectacularly so.”

Gregory Paul, the author of the study and a social scientist, used data from the International Social Survey Programme, Gallup and other research bodies to reach his conclusions.

He compared social indicators such as murder rates, abortion, suicide and teenage pregnancy.

The study concluded that the US was the world’s only prosperous democracy where murder rates were still high, and that the least devout nations were the least dysfunctional. Mr Paul said that rates of gonorrhoea in adolescents in the US were up to 300 times higher than in less devout democratic countries. The US also suffered from “ uniquely high” adolescent and adult syphilis infection rates, and adolescent abortion rates, the study suggested.

Mr Paul said: “The study shows that England, despite the social ills it has, is actually performing a good deal better than the USA in most indicators, even though it is now a much less religious nation than America.”

He said that the disparity was even greater when the US was compared with other countries, including France, Japan and the Scandinavian countries. These nations had been the most successful in reducing murder rates, early mortality, sexually transmitted diseases and abortion, he added.

Mr Paul delayed releasing the study until now because of Hurricane Katrina. He said that the evidence accumulated by a number of different studies suggested that religion might actually contribute to social ills. “I suspect that Europeans are increasingly repelled by the poor societal performance of the Christian states,” he added.

He said that most Western nations would become more religious only if the theory of evolution could be overturned and the existence of God scientifically proven. Likewise, the theory of evolution would not enjoy majority support in the US unless there was a marked decline in religious belief, Mr Paul said.

“The non-religious, proevolution democracies contradict the dictum that a society cannot enjoy good conditions unless most citizens ardently believe in a moral creator.

“The widely held fear that a Godless citizenry must experience societal disaster is therefore refuted.”

 
At September 28, 2005 5:31 PM, Blogger Kirk said...

Anonymous: None of us are going to bother reading some long comment you typed up. If there is truly an article worth reading, you would provide a link to it. Otherwise, we can safely assume you are making it up.

 
At September 28, 2005 5:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I didn't write that long post. Someone is using my name again!

No matter how many times I change my password, they always figure it out.

 
At September 28, 2005 11:00 PM, Anonymous true conservative said...

Well I am, because I actually want to take time to answer questions and smack down arguments. Im not just going to give up just because someones comment is too long. Thats called lazyness kirk, and is not the true Republican way.

That was a neat article. No doubt that "socail scientist" was an angry atheist. For now, Im going to trust that his research was valid. So if all this is true, its for two reasons.

1 Out of The smaller, non religious part of our community some of them may be radical atheists, therefore participate in many of the events that they believe. That will make those rates go higher.

2 Since the far right religious will advocate how important it is to do this and not do that, the "lesser christians" will give in to human nature, and will want to break these rules - since they are so loudly broadcasted.

 
At September 29, 2005 1:11 AM, Anonymous true conservative said...

By the way, I run a cleaning service. If anyone here needs anything laundered, just let me know.

 
At September 29, 2005 1:32 AM, Blogger Tom Harper said...

Yes, Fort Rick must be defended at all costs. Abortions-in-a-box will be just around the corner if those wicked pagans take back Congress in 2006. God help us.

 
At September 29, 2005 9:28 PM, Blogger Michael Gregory Steele said...

bkwrd_dog: I appreciate you bringing this drivel to this blog and I further appreciate anonymous taking up so much room on the comments page by pasting the entire article. I usually delete such nonesense, but I'll make an exception in this case. I do this because this article just furthers my point that all liberals are atheists and liars.

This article seems quite dubious. How does presenting examples of secular countries with low crime rates prove anything? They may be outwardly functional but every citizen in a country like this is disfunctional to the core. That is a FACT.

 
At September 29, 2005 10:58 PM, Anonymous Tom DeLay said...

True Conservative, I am interested in your services. Get in touch.

 
At September 30, 2005 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

true conservative, ha ha! the jokes on you. I did make that story up! I can't believe you wasted the time to read it. That's called stupidity, True Conservative, and that's not the true republican way.

When I want to learn the "true republican way" I will get it from Michael or Herman or Kirk, not from a sycophantic nancy boy like you!

By the way, good luck with your maid job.

 
At September 30, 2005 4:36 PM, Blogger M.R. BushCheney08 said...

You're a liar Anonymous! I made that article up, but it's true in spirit. Hey! My picture is back!

 
At September 30, 2005 4:44 PM, Anonymous Allisoni Balloni said...

No, you’re the liar BushCheney08, I'm Anonymous because I want a fresh start with Kirk.

 
At October 06, 2005 10:38 PM, Anonymous true conservative said...

Apparently, this blog is only interested in everyone making fun of eachother, and no one wants to have a real disscusion. Oh well I dont care.

 
At October 16, 2005 3:55 PM, Blogger Patrick Saint-James said...

We'll still love you even if you become a minority part. XXX

 
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At October 16, 2009 12:46 PM, Blogger kevin said...

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